Dave Lister, the last human alive walked into his sleeping quarters. He looks about 9 months pregnant. He walked to his bed and sat down. The door opened and his hologramattic roommate Arnold Rimmer walked in. "How's it going Listy? Having fun with the baby?" he asked sarcastically. "Smeg off Rimmer!" Lister said. "Ok, Ok. I'm sorry. Sorry that you had a one night stand with a female version of yourself and got yourself knocked up" Rimmer said. Holly, the ship's computer appeared on the screen ajacent to Lister and Rimmer's bunk. He was a head. He was a 50-ish man with his only hair on the sides of his head. "Whats happening dudes?" he said. "What is it Holly?" Lister asked. "Well, I've detected an asteroid with the remains of a spacebike on it. It looks like your's!" Holly said. "Wait, my bike...KRYTEN!" he screamed. "AWWW YEAHHH!" the Cat screamed as he did every day. Lister and Rimmer ran past him. "Hey guys, whats up?" he asked. We found Kryten!" Lister said. "You mean Half-Eaten Lollipop Head?" The Cat said. "Yeah, and hes gone and crashed the bike into asteroid. Smeghead.." Rimmer said.
After getting Kryten's remains they went to the cargo bay to put him back together. Just as they got there Lister dropped to the floor. "Rimmer, its TIME!" he said. "Oh, no. Cat! Help me get Lister to the medical bay, its just down the hall!" Rimmer shouted. "And get this suit all sweaty? Oh no I draw the line there!" he said. "Cat, its either get sweat all over that suit or blood and guts, your choice!" Rimmer said. "Red and Green? Out of season? Ok I'll help" the Cat said. In the medical bay a scutter was cutting Lister open. "AGH, ow THIS HURTS!" Lister screamed while convulsing his arms around. "Lister, calm down were giving you the pain medication now. Lister's face turned into a smile and he was calmed down. "Listy, look up. Its two boys." Rimmer said. "Oh my god, they're so small" Lister said. "Any ideas for names?" The Cat said. "I have the perfect names, Jim after Jim Bexley Speed and Bexley after Jim Bexley Speed." Lister said.
The next day Lister got to work on Kryten. He was able to put his arms and legs beck onto his torso and was able to activate the inner circutry. But as a result of the crash his original personality was altered and Kryten, although having the same memories was a different person. "Ok here we go just flip this switch and.." Lister said. "Hello, I am Series 4000 Service Mechanoid Kryten. I am here to serve you, Mr. Lister and Mr. Rimmer! How very nice to see you again. I seem to have had a bit of an accident." he said. "I see that" Lister said.
After a week Lister couldn't take parenthood anymore. "Holly, can we use the hop drive to go back to the paralell universe?" Lister asked. "Sure, I hope it doesn't break this time" Holly said. They transported back and encountered the alternate Red Dwarf. "Listen Deb, i can't take it anymore these babies are driving me nuts!" Dave Lister said. "Well thats because they are displaced. They are acting like that because they belong in this universe! Didn't you know that?" Arlene Rimmer said. "No I didn't so please take them!" Lister said. "Sure, waht did you name them?" Deb asked. At the same time they said "Jim and Bexley after Jim Bexley Speed?"
As they used the Holly Hop Drive to go home Holly shorted out. Lister tried to turn Holly back on. the screen flashed with letters in red. They spelled Re-boot. "Original personality saved. Original appearence corrputed. Loading backup appearance." the computer said. "Whats happening dudes?" Holly said. Holly now looked like Hilly, his Paralell universe counterpart. "Well this ain't so bad is it mates?" she said.
AND NOW THE SAGA CONTINUUMS...
RED DWARF III THE SAME GENERATION
-NEARLY -