ME: Well, I have no idea what to do next for TFM, guys. Hell, *spoilers if you haven't read the latest chapter* I can't even decide on whether the Republic won or lost Humbarine right now.
So until then, here's a comedic one-shot.
This weapon is your life!
(Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi, speaking to then-Padawan Anakin Skywalker)
"Stop them!" Ahsoka shouted to the police droids close to Ione Marcy and Cassie Cryar.
While Marcy was detained fairly quickly and easily by a pair of the mechanical law enforcers, Cryar cut down two of the Guardian CSF droids before fleeing. Arriving too late to board the train normally, the Terrelian Jango Jumper leapt on board, followed by Ahsoka.
Shattering a window, Cryar stormed the train and took a Twi'lek woman and her child hostage. "Give up, you've got nowhere to run!" said Ahsoka, having followed the lightsaber thief onboard.
"You can't tell me what to do!" Cryar snarled back. "I've got a lightsaber, that makes me as powerful as any Jedi!"
The Togruta Padawan raised her hands as if trying to placate the armed criminal...then seized a grip on her lightsaber and ripped it out of Cryar's hands.
"Good thing I remembered that I can use the Force, sleemo," Ahsoka snarked. "Otherwise I would have just talked and talked like a complete idiot, if only I had gotten my lightsaber back sooner."
The train stopped, and the door closest to Cryar opened, revealing Master Sinube standing on the station platform with a number of police droids and organic officers. He used the Force to slam Cryar against the train's wall, knocking her out.
"I see you simply stole your lightsaber back, young one," said the old Jedi. "Good for you."
Ahsoka nodded and did her best to console the Twi'leks Cryar had taken hostage while the police restrained Cryar.
Cryar awoke at a CSF precinct. She was informed of her legal rights and allowed a call. She and her lover were charged with multiple crimes, ranging from resisting arrest and assault of a Jedi to the destruction of police droids and theft. Cryar was found guilty of all charges by a jury and sentenced to twenty-five years to life without the possibility of early parole, while Marcy would spend at least ten years in prison for her crimes due to testifying against her girlfriend in exchange for a reduced sentence. The two were sent to the Republic Judiciary Central Detention Center following their convictions due to the fact that they had successfully stolen a Jedi's lightsaber even if they had been stopped before they could have killed anyone with it.
Unfortunately for Ahsoka, a passenger had snapped a picture of the standoff between her and Cryar with his hCom and had posted said picture on Faceholo. As a result, she had a very awkward conversation with Anakin about how she had lost her lightsaber but hadn't told him about it.
ME: Okay, I'm sorry this was a little shorter than normal.
Treat the "hCom" as the equivalent of the iPhone for this story. Maybe there should be a company named "Jogan," though what their computers would be called is a headscratcher for me. Jogbooks? Jogholos?
If you guys haven't read Udessi, a fanfic by my good friend Ahsokafanboy1138 that takes place in my universe, please do so. It's a welcome addition to my AU even if I'm not writing it myself.
Also, given how Kablob of Tumblr seems to like Cassie and Ione, two idiots who only succeeded because Ahsoka suddenly had the IQ of a malfunctioning B1 for that episode, yet hates Karen Traviss, I wanna know what he's smoking.
For those of you not in the know, Pablo said on Twitter that these two were supposed to be lovers-right, because you want a same-sex couple to be morons who shouldn't have ever existed. I get that Pablo's a Canadian who works in the entertainment industry, but come on, at least people can like Korra and Asami. Cassie, on the other hand, abandoned Ione when push came to shove and took a mother and her child hostage. What a bitch.
Now if only I could get an idea for the next chapter of The Future Menace. Should I read Shatterpoint and risk getting spoilers?