Hi! This is my second attempt at fanfiction, following the disastrous Ten Commandments. Hopefully it's better.

Disclaimer: I don't own FMA or anything affiliated. That much is obvious, right? I also don't own the real Hawkeye College, which has nothing to do with FMA whatsoever. (Isn't it funny that a real actual college has that name? I got the idea when I saw it on Google doing this career search thing for school.)

Hawkeye College

Chapter 1: You have been accepted at…

"-Hawkeye College," I read out loud.

Havoc looked impressed. "So that's what Hawkeye's been doing on her break. I like industrious women…"

I gave him the evil eye. "MIIIINE!!!!" Shocked and amused looks from all personnel. "Um, well, anyway, that's not the point!" I looked around to make sure everyone had forgotten about his little outburst. Nobody had, but they were able to hoist their poker faces on in time. "The point is, I didn't even apply to this school! What do I do?"

Breda shrugged. "I'd go if I were you. Wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of the best sniper in Amestris. You saw what she did to Black Hayate when he chewed up her shoes, right?"

"Well, when you put it that way…" I felt slightly nervous. "All right, I'll go, but you guys have to come too."

Havoc looked affronted. "Hell, no!"

"Well, actually…" I grinned wickedly. "It's addressed to, quote, 'The Infamous Five,' unquote. Assuming that the infamous five she's referring to is us, you guys have to go or risk her gun-toting wrath."

Cue collective meep.

"That's right. It says to be at this address tomorrow for the entrance exam. Waitaminute, the entrance exam? But the letter says we have been accepted."

Cue collective "whatever."

"Now that that's settled-"

At that very moment, the door to the office was kicked open. Kicked in half, more accurately. A chibi blonde walked in through the wreckage, waving a piece of paper in the air and roaring loudly. "COLONEL BASTARD, IS THIS SOME KIND OF JOKE?!?!?!?"

Miraculously, once I had recovered from the sudden onslaught of noise, I was able to shout louder than Fullmetal (for that was who it was. Who were you expecting, the Easter Bunny?). "FULLMETAL, THE DOOR!!!"

Havoc, Fury, Breda, and Falman were dazedly wondering if their ears would ever be the same again. For a moment, Fullmetal looked impressed at someone reaching a louder volume than he, but then he became grumpy again. "Fine." He walked over to the door, clapped, and fixed it. "Anyway, IS THIS SOME KIND OF JOKE?"

After shifting a huge pile of paperwork so that I could see, I surveyed the letter Fullmetal was clutching. "If you're talking about Hawkeye College, I got one too." Fullmetal was still smoldering. "Look, it says Hawkeye on there, not Mustang. Why do you automatically assume that I'm responsible?"

"She's your subordinate."

I raised an eyebrow. "Since when has Hawkeye acted like my subordinate? More like my babysitter." I turned to glance at my four other subordinates behind me. "Or so say Havoc, Breda, Falman, and Fury."

The four in question stared at each other behind my back, mouthing various things. All of them were along the lines of, How the hell did he hear us? It was his day off!!!

Idiots. Roy Mustang hears eeeeverything.