The First Casualtiy Of War Is Innocence

by confusedblueberry

He wasn't proud of what he had done during the war. He had simply lived and the cost of living was high. As Theo awaits his trial where he knows he will be found guilty of war crimes he tries to make the most of his freedom and the peace he finds not only at Hogwarts but with non other than Hermione Granger. Someone who should hate everything he is.

Chapter one
The first causality of war is innocence

Yes, he had taken the dark mark willingly, but he did it with a purpose. For a reason entirely different than his peers. The proof had likely been lost in one of the many causalities of the war.

Some would think he was true to the cause because he had taken the mark far before anyone else his age had. But by taking the initiative no one questioned where his loyalties were when the war was no longer fought in dark streets and in the silence of the shadows.

You could compare Voldemort to Hitler. Both committed mass genocide over genetics when both were considered less than pure themselves.

Many of Toms followers had true regret after he vanished, but regret wasn't enough. They still belittled and believed in their purest ways. They taught a whole new generation how to hate. When he returned they forgot all about the regret and shame they once had. Some truly did wish to leave that part of their lives behind. Forgotten and hidden by years of reform, but to do that they would not only put themselves in danger but their children too.

Some pushed their children to get the dark mark out of protection. If Voldemort lost the war the children would be punished for taking the mark even under distress but not as harshly. They hoped. Voldemort would make them an example. See them as blood traitors and not an innocent of war.

Azkaban would leave marks on their children, but that would mean they were still alive.

Tom saw everyone as stepping stones that he would tarnish and break down over time.

He let them believe he was a foot soldier who believed in the cause. Who would not only kill but die for it too. They were sadly mistaken. He had played his own game. Yes, he had killed to farther his agenda, but he was never willing to die for something as simple as genetics.

In the end when they all took their last breath, they would all bleed red.

He acknowledged that he was a murder. He wouldn't deny it, he wouldn't try and justify what he had done. He did what he did to survive in this messed up world and that was that.

He had returned to Hogwarts after the war because it had been the only home he had ever known without fear and secrets. The only place he had found peace since he was a young child. Finding peace would be different now. The memories and guilt of the war weighing in on his mind. He found no pleasure in taking someone's life just regret. That regret would follow him for the rest of his life.

Wars never left silently without taking something with them. They never simply ended. They took many things from everyone and the only thing they ever left behind were scars, that take decades to heal, if ever. They never healed pristinely as if they were never there. Scar tissue is tough, rough, and unappealing. He had many scares left not only on his mind, but also his body.

Walking around Hogwarts reminded him of all those scares. Not only his own but others too. This place may have been his peace yet it was someone else's nightmare. Hogwarts had been the setting for the last battle. The battle had been gruesome and burned itself into everyone's memories. The hallways had been stained with the blood of so many.

He had been here all summer helping rebuild the school. It's not like he had a choice if he wanted he couldn't return to his family home until the ministry was done investigating him and his family. He had yet to have his trial but him and some of the younger death eaters had been released from Azkaban for the time being. Anyone who had taken the mark before their seventeenth birthday had been given glorified babysitters. It was to sort through the children who had taken the mark out of fear. There were many.

But he was sure his trial would differ from the others because he had taken the mark willingly. He had also stained his hands with the blood of those he had killed.

Be it for Tom or the order of the phoenix. He had killed more than once and there was no getting out of it. He would be honest at the trial, wouldn't sugar coat anything and simply take the punishment that would be dished out in the near future.

He had told the ministry that he would be returning to Hogwarts to attend his seventh year over again which would be called the 8th year. McGonagall was the headmistress now and believed that Hogwarts lacked unity as a school. The war was a great example of this. They had gone to school with one another for seven years but could still murder one another. So it had been decided that the 8th years would room with one another instead of their houses.

McGonagall in his opinion would not only rebuild Hogwarts but also its students.

Many of those returning for their 8th year had fought in the war just like him be it for the order or the death eaters. He held no angry or reservations about the order members but that couldn't be said about the others. Tensions would be high especially if a majority of Slytherins were to return.

Many forgot that not all Slytherins were death eaters and a good amount of them were muggle born just like any other house. He wouldn't be surprised if many seeking to help their case came back to Hogwarts. But it would only help if they behaved and the question was could they. After being nagged, sneered at, punished, and treated like dirt could they behave without being baited and taking it.

He had been baited his entire life. He had learned early in life not to take the bait. It took time and a few beatings for him to understand to simply just let it go.

He was no Harry Potter he hadn't saved the wizarding world. He had simply lived and the cost of living was a high price to pay.