I hated you, I despised you
You were cold and you were cruel
Your eyes hard as if they were made of steel
Your body threatening, hardened from years in prison
I hated you, yet I knew nothing of you
I didn't care to know about you
I knew the force behind your hand
And the strength within your body
I hated you, I feared you
I wanted to run away….I did
You found me though, not far away
You dragged me back, I blacked out
I hated you, but I didn't fear you
You were angry, you wanted me to hate you
You were mean, but you were ashamed
You were cruel, but you were scared
I hated you, but I feared for you
I awake again, in bed, warm, safe
You were there, sitting beside me
You didn't notice me watching
I hated you, but I trusted you
You reminded me of a man praying that night
You looked lost, as the darkness returned, you stood
And so gently, touched my hair, like an apology you could never say
I hated you, but you lied
You kept your secrets, I kept mine
I tried to save you,
But you were determined to die
I hated you, but I desired you
You set me free, then you disappeared
I returned home, and found myself praying
That you found yours
I hated you, but I sought you out
I searched for your home, I searched for you
You allowed me to find you, you allowed me stay
You never spoke or touched me, afraid I'd break
I hated you, but I wanted you
I kept trying, for weeks to get you to talk
I lost sight of why I was doing this,
What I hoped to accomplish
I hated you, but I looked for you
One night, you didn't come back
I ran out to find, running from town to town
I failed, I returned and collapsed exhausted, it was cold
I hated you, but I needed you
You came back, you called me an idiot
You took me to your room, tried to warm me up
But you wouldn't touch me, and you kept away
I hated you, but I kept to you
You tried to leave but I clung to you
I begged for you to say anything,
In return I promised to leave
I hated you, but you loved me
You told me the truth, everything you kept secret
You held me tight, wished me to stay
I was happy, and I did stay
And that's ok, because I love you too