Note: This is a conversation that I'm sure had to have taken place between Harry and Ginny during the summer following the War. It's obviously Harry/Ginny, but I'm almost more inclined, or at least equally inclined, to call it Harry/Ron/Hermione friendship. Either way, I hope you enjoy reading it!
The Way You Love Them
Ginny walked out onto the porch in a slight huff, having been frustrated all day. It started that morning (though, if she was honest, it started in her first year at Hogwarts), when she had again accidently interrupted a serious talk between her boyfriend, her brother, and her brother's girlfriend.
She hated walking into a room and watching them all go silent. She was…jealous of their inside jokes and their shared experiences, knowing she'd never really be a part of it. She suffered for months, not knowing where they were – if they were even alive – and now, even with all three of them back, within her reach every day, she felt so very separate from them. And so, when Harry sat down beside her late that night and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, she allowed her thoughts to spill out slowly.
Ginny sighed. "I'm never going to be a part of that, am I?"
Harry blinked twice, looking up at his girlfriend. "Part of what, Gin?"
She smiled sadly, staring at her hands. "You know… You, and Ron and Hermione. There was a reason I didn't get to come along on your little adventure, and I know it wasn't just because you wanted to protect me."
Harry appraised her for a moment, eyebrows furrowed in concentration. "Ginny…" he started, but was suddenly unsure of what to say. She wasn't wrong – there was something different, something special, between him and his two best friends that Ginny never really would be part of. They had endured so much together, and grown so much; they were linked, all three of them, in a somewhat impenetrable way.
"I mean, I get it," Ginny interrupted his flow of thoughts in a way that would have seemed casual if she hadn't waved her hand so violently to grab his attention. "The stuff you three have done…gone through…" She trailed off, spinning to face him more fully. "It's just, I see you together, the way you sit and talk and understand each other without even really saying anything…I constantly feel like I'm intruding on this important moment, on something sacred, and it scares me. I'm afraid…I'm afraid you'll never love me the way you love them." She looked away, embarrassed, knowing she sounded selfish and immature, and she immediately regretted saying anything at all – regretted having the awful Weasley habit of speaking without thinking first.
Harry just looked at her curiously, as if unsure of how to best approach the situation. Finally, he laid his head back on the porch swing with a sigh. "You're right." Her head shot up, and he immediately knew he needed to amend his answer. "I mean, I won't…I can't love you in the same way I love them. But I do love you, Gin. In a way I can hardly even understand, sometimes."
Harry paused, groping for the proper words to make her understand what he was saying. "The thing with us, with me and Ron and Hermione…it's just, they were my first…family. The first people who ever really, really loved me, I mean, besides my parents I guess. And the things they've done for me, the things they've given up – it's incredible. It wasn't until this year that I really understood the sacrifices they were willing to make for me – Hermione, and what she did with her parents, and Ron—"
"Ron left you," Ginny said abruptly, and immediately clamped a hand over her mouth, realizing how terrible that was to say. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean—"
"It's okay," Harry caught her off with a soft smile. "I understand why he did it. And it was hard – I mean, without Ron…it nearly destroyed us. But Ginny, the thing is, it wasn't him – it was the horcrux, the locket." Harry glanced at Ginny's confused face and realized he'd never really explained what happened. He wondered briefly if Ron would want him to, but decided that Ginny would understand better than anyone. "It was like Riddle's diary – you know how it kind of took over you?" Ginny nodded slightly, comprehension furrowing her brow. "Well, the locket did that to Ron. It made him think things, things he was maybe already thinking somewhere in the back of his mind but would never have truly believed or acted on, things about me, and about Hermione, and…Ginny it was awful. It was torturing him. He didn't know what he was doing, not really, he just got so angry."
Harry was looking at her gravely, begging her to understand, and she did. Ginny knew what it was like to be taken over by an inanimate object – by a piece of Voldemort – and it wasn't an experience anyone would handle well. She realized that the bitterness she had felt upon learning of Ron's brief abandonment of his best friends was slowly ebbing away, and she suddenly had the urge to run and find him, and hug him, and tell him she understood. And then she realized that Ron would look at her like she had gone mental, and also, Harry didn't seem finished with his story, so she nodded for him to continue.
"When he came back, he saved my life, straight off. He saved my life and took the Gryffindor sword, and destroyed the locket. And he was marvelous, Ginny. And that was when I knew how much being my friend had ripped him apart, how much he had suffered…and how much he, well, he loves me, you know?" Harry nearly blushed, saying those words, but he didn't know how else to describe the feelings between him and Ron, and Hermione, too. He felt it necessary to add that part: "And how much he loves Hermione."
Ginny finally cracked a smile at this. "He does love Hermione, then?"
Harry nodded, smiling as well. "In a pretty different way than he loves me, I suspect – no, I hope." Ginny laughed. "But in the same way, too, I think. And that's the point I was trying to make before. The three of us just have this…special…bond, I think, that will stay with us forever." Ginny bit her lip softly. "But Ron and Hermione definitely have something else entirely different on top of that, and I don't want to touch it."
And then they were both laughing, Ginny shifted slightly so her head rested on Harry's shoulder, and he held hand tightly.
"Have you even seen them lately?" Harry asked, craning his neck around, knowing he wouldn't see them outside in the dark like this, but also fairly certain that hadn't returned to the Burrow yet.
Ginny shook her head. "No, I'm pretty sure they're off snogging in the yard or something. Five sickles says Hermione comes back covered in grass stains."
Harry laughed. "I don't think it's wise to take that bet."
"Probably not," Ginny giggled, feeling infinitely better, even knowing she'd never quite be one of them.
"You know," Harry smiled, kissing Ginny's forehead lightly before continuing, "I've felt kind of like an outsider, too, recently, what with Ron and Hermione…"
"So what're you saying, Harry? You're glad I'm here to be an outsider with you?" She asked with playfully raised eyebrows.
"I'm glad you're here to soften the blow." Ginny smacked him lightly across the chest, and Harry grinned.
"You're perfect, you know that, Gin?"
Ginny smiled, and instead of responding, leaned in to kiss her boyfriend softly. And then…not so softly. And she realized something important: she may never truly be part of what Harry, Ron, and Hermione have, but she would be something entirely different, and special in her own right. And she knew that this would be enough – this feeling, wrapped safely in Harry's arms, it would be enough for her.
She also had the niggling feeling that Ron and Hermione would be absent pretty damn often in the foreseeable future, which would leave her and Harry plenty of time to enjoy being outsiders together – and that was perfectly, perfectly fine.