I got this idea from a dream I had...It was about my dog talking on a cell phone (don't ask), and a plotbunny leapt out from the dusty corners of my mind and bit me in the behind...Hey, that rhymes! Anyhow, here you go!

Disclaimer: It ain't mine

Warnings: it's rated M for a reason, folks...There's slash, and that's all I'm saying

Chapter 1: Online

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"Harry, what is this Em-Es-En?" Voldemort asked his green-eyed lover, who was sprawled comfortably on the black leather couch.

"Hum?"

The Boy-Who-Lived blinked opened his emerald eyes and his gaze settled on his beloved Dark Lord. He cocked his head like a bird, staring at Voldemort confusedly; trying to figure out what the elder man had just asked him. The Dark Lord was sitting in his favorite chair, wearing his sweater and messing around on his computer. Immediately, Harry jumped up from his position on the couch and in front of the red-eyed man.

"I told you not to touch that!"

Voldemort paid no attention to his young lover. He only leaned to the side and continued whatever he was doing. Harry whirled around, to find…

"TOM! Stop looking at that! That's – that's PORN!"

"Oh, shut up, Harry," Voldemort replied, rubbing the bulge in his pants, which was soon sat on by his very jealous Boy-Who-Lived.

After a moment of struggle, Harry managed to grab the mouse and he clicked frantically, attempting to close all the windows of pornography. Trying to reclaim the mouse, Tom grabbed Harry arm wildly, jabbed Harry in the stomach, which made the younger wizard's hand slip. Harry clicked anyway, and yelped helplessly as a flood of pictures of bondage popped up on the screen.

"Why Harry," Voldemort purred as he wrapped his arms around the smaller wizard. "I didn't know you were interested in those sorts of things…"

The taller wizard slipped his hand under Harry's shirt and groped his lover's smooth chest. Harry let out a soft moan and shifted slightly in Tom's lap, getting excited by the feel of Tom's hardened cock pressing into his right thigh. The green-eyed boy looked up at his lover, his mouth slightly open, his eyes begging for a kiss. Chuckling, the Dark Lord complied, unbuttoning Harry's shirt at the same time.

"Tom…" whined Harry after Voldemort has pulled away from the sweet kiss.

"Hmm?" he licked the younger wizard's nose teasingly. "Did you want something, Harry?"

The Potter glared at the Dark Lord mischievously before turning around and pressing a button on the computer's hard drive. Voldemort could only watch helplessly as the pictures of bondage on the computer faded and the screen turned black.

Being the invincible Dark Lord he was, Voldemort shifted his gaze onto his grinning Harry and narrowed his eyes dangerously, mentally smirking when the boy's smile faded. His hand found its way onto the smaller wizard's neck, and his eyes glinted as he felt Harry's fast pulse. Oh, Harry was nervous alright…

Tom moved his hand forward until it was resting on the back of Harry's neck, then he pushed his shirtless Boy-Who-Lived until he was pressing into his chest. The elder wizard leaned down and whispered, "You're going to pay for that." He took his lover into his arms, cuddling him safely into his tanned chest, and marched to the bedroom.

------- Three hours later -------

"I don't get it."

"What could you not get?" Harry exclaimed in frustration.

He had spent over fifteen minutes explained the wonders of MSN (or as Voldemort put it, Em-Es-En) to his lover, and now he was trying to teach Tom internet slang.

Tom looked at Harry accusingly and replied, "I still don't get what El-Oh-El means."

"Look…" Harry sighed, very exasperated with his lover. "The first 'L' means 'Laughs'. The 'O' means 'Out'. The second 'L' means 'Loud'. You put L-O-L together and you get Laughs Out Loud. It's so simple!"

Voldemort pondered over this piece of information for a few minutes, then asked, "So…it's the first letters of the first word? Is that what you're trying to say?"

"Yes! L-O-L just means that something is funny!"

"But why don't they just say that it's funny? It's less confusing that way."

"Because 'it's funny' is longer to type than just 'lol'! It's – it's an abbreviation!"

Voldemort looked thoughtful for a brief moment, and then focused his eyes on the computer screen. "So El-Oh-El means that something is funny."

Harry threw up his hands, frustrated. "You've just figured that out? How the hell did you manage to become a Dark Lord with that kind of intelligence?" he cried.

Voldemort ignored the insult and scrolled down the page with the mouse. Harry's MSN messenger conversation with his Muggle friend wasn't extremely interesting, but at least he could learn some basic Muggle communication here. He had to admit, Muggles were smarter than they looked. How could they possibly come up with abbreviations for a simple word like 'amusing'?

Voldemort stopped reading as his eyes came to rest upon a foreign word. Was this another 'slang term' of Harry's?

"What does this Ar-Oh-Ef-El mean?"

Harry looked up from his oh-so-interesting book and mentally spelled out the four-lettered word 'ROFL'. "Oh, that also means that something's funny. They're the first letters of words, just like L-O-L. It means: Rolls On Floor Laughing."

Thankfully, the Dark Lord understood this faster than he understood L-O-L. Within a dozen of seconds, he was nodding and scrolling down the page again.

Before long, he had found another abbreviation. By nine o'clock, Voldemort had understood what LOL, ROFL, LMAO stood for. To be frank, he was rather proud of himself.

Until he found another one.

From the looks of the sentence, the word did not mean that it was funny.

"Harry…" Tom's voice trailed away as he turned around to face his sleepy lover. "What does B-T-W mean?"

"Arrrrgh! Are you going to keep this up all night, you annoying prat?"

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