"Ladies and gentleman it is my pleasure to welcome you aboard this American Airlines flight from Chicago O'Hare to Los Angeles International Airport this evening. Our flight time is currently estimated at four hours and twenty minutes…" The well-rehearsed and polite robotic voice of the flight attendant sounded cheerily over the plane's tannoy system.
Nick was barely listening to her, his mind phased out her words as she began to go through the rest of the standard 'welcome-to-our-airplane' speech; the pilot and crews names, something Nick himself had never understood, who the hell cared if it was Bob or Sue serving him his cold, tasteless and inconceivably overpriced coffee at 35,000 feet? After the introductions the rest of the super smiley cabin crew seemed to appear out of nowhere whistles and deflated life jackets in hand ready for their big moment in the spotlight; the safety demonstration. A male attendant stopped two seats in of Nick and began his one man safety mime show. He was around Nick's age but that was where any similarities ended, he was six foot, bald, skinny and tanned such a shade of orange it actually hurt Nick's eyes to look at him under the fluorescent airplane lights. He smiled warmly at Nick but Nick simply made a half-turtle face lent back and closed his eyes. Nick could care even less about this; if the plane went down he really doubted the spray tan king would be much help.
Although he was able to pretty much block out the monotonous words of the safety briefing Nick was having no such luck with the irate whispers of Schmidt beside him. Schmidt had been ranting ever since they had left the check in desk, the airline still hadn't managed to track down his missing case and he was pissed. Again Nick could care less about his roommates missing stuff, Schmidt had more than enough cash to replace it all and Nick was sure 99% of the contents of that case would require money in the douchebag jar. Regardless to Nick's clear lack of interest in the matter Schmidt continued to mourn his loss.
"…I mean really they call themselves an airline but I see them for what they really are; thieves!" Schmidt spat venomously. "I bet as soon as they saw my bag through the scanner some airport monkey spotted my beauties and thought 'Aha! Yeeees expensive things from good hardworking American man. I can get lots of monies to feed my family for a month.'" He added in a broad mix of foreign accents just to ensure he offended as many people as possible.
Nick made a mental note for the jar when they got back. Still not opening is eyes he shrugged and replied, "One man's chutney is another man's treasure."
"This is not funny Nicholas. My poor Dolce is probably in some back alley chop shop tailor right now, stripped for parts…" Schmidt's voice actually stammered.
Nick turned to him, "What the hell is a dolce?"
"My suit Nick. My beautiful hand made $1,200.00 Dolce&Gobanna suit!" Schmidt spat back, his face filled with genuine horror at his friend's ignorance.
Nick returned his horrified stare, "You paid $1,200.00 for a suit? I…you're a…Jar!"
Schmidt rolled his eyes, "You can't call jar on my suit Nick. Having a sense of style is not douchey."
"Spending $1,200.00 on a suit is." Nick said firmly, then muttered to himself "…£1,200.00…good god."
"I brought it as a tribute to your father Nick. You should have seen it; it was a real beauty, very Goodfellas/Godfather. Walt would have loved it." Schmidt said as though this was a compliment.
Nick glared at his friend, "Walt wasn't a gangster Schmidt. He…he was…he just worked a little outside the law." Said lowly not wanting anyone to hear.
Schmidt waved his hand dismissively, "You say potato, I say…"
"Douche." Nick snapped.
Schmidt ignored him, "Regardless it's a real shame I really think I could have pulled off gangster chic, would have brighten up the whole funeral. I didn't want to say anything at the time so as not to seem insensitive but your family have the collective style of a blind homeless hillbilly."
Nick's face scrunched up tightly, "Jar! Jar Schmidt! When we get back, jar, I mean it, seriously jar!"
Schmidt looked upset, "How much?"
"A lot." He added before shutting his eyes once more.
Schmidt didn't seem to care and simply carried on his moaning. Nick tried harder to shut out his friends whining words, four hours and twenty minutes he thought to himself, four hours and twenty minutes till they would land in LA, four hours and twenty minutes till he would be home. As much as Nick loved Chicago, it was the place he had grown up and was in his opinion one of the best cities in the world whenever he came back there was always something that put him on edge.
No matter what he came back for, whether it was for the holidays, a family occasion or even just to visit old friends there was always something he had to do, always something he had to fix, usually this involved clearing up one's of Walt's messes. Well I guess I won't be doing that ever again he told himself, no more calls from his mom late in the night not knowing where Walt was or worrying about what crazy scheme he would drag them all into next. Nope no more cons or plays or any of that stuff.
Nick had meant what he said in his improvised eulogy, he didn't know what kind of guy Walt Miller was but he was his dad and he was going to miss him. He kept telling himself bottom line was that no matter what he loved his dad and he was gone now so let the past be the past. But Nick couldn't get rid of the niggling voice at the back of his head which was still angry with Walt, still pissed at all the times he ran out on the family, left Bonnie broken hearted and a young Nick to pick up the pieces. More than anything he wanted to know why? But he guessed now he'd never know. Nick sighed heavily to himself; I really am messed up, forever unresolved issues with my father great. Maybe he should finally give into the LA way and see a therapist, he snorted internally at the thought of some quack therapist trying to get Nick to open up with those stupid ink block pictures and talking sticks!
As the last thought entered his mind he instantly shot his eyes across the plane to four rows in front of where he and Schmidt were sat, to where she was. Even though the plane was crowded his eyes found Jess instantly, she sat like him in the aisle seat, legs crossed her right foot bouncing up and down happily as she listened intently, unlike Nick, to the safety briefing. He smirked as he saw she even had the safety card in her hand and would actually check it when the flight attendant would point something out, reading it with genuine interest. He almost laughed out loud; it was such a Jess thing to do. It was only when he saw her return the laminate card to its pocket did he realise the demonstration was over and they were about to take off. Nick kept his eyes fixed on Jess as the plane taxied to the runway. He watched as she rummaged in her tiny purse for something she apparently didn't find and felt a pang of jealously as she lent close in to Winston beside her to say something. He hated how far away she was from him.
Considering they had booked the flights last minute they had gotten lucky on the flight out and managed to get four seats all together. Jess had sat beside him the whole way out, they hadn't really talked much at all, Nick's mind had been elsewhere but it had felt nice, knowing she was there beside him. On the return flight however they were only able to book two sets of two, Schmidt had made the booking and naturally assumed Nick would want to spend the four hours and twenty minute return flight next to him. Nick had tried his best to manoeuvre himself beside Jess the entire time at the airport, right up until they got to the boarding gate and Schmidt passed out their tickets.
"Ok so Nick and I arrrrre…" he said scanning the collection of papers in his hands. Schmidt was the organiser of their group, he was the best at it and genuinely enjoyed being in charge. It was all a part of his 'control' issues. "…19 D and E. And Jess and Winston are in 16 B and C." he said passing the tickets to them.
Nick took his and Jess's tickets passing hers to her, still trying to keep himself as close to her as possible. "Come on Schmidt it doesn't really matter who sits where…"
"Oh but it does Nicholas, you must sit in the allocated seat on your ticket." Schmidt said as though he were talking to a child. "Those are the rules."
Nick rolled his eyes, "We've already paid Schmidt they have our money they don't care where we park our asses for the next few hours!"
Winston gave a shrug, "I don't care where I sit I just wanna sleep."
Schmidt shook his head him, "And you will Winston, in seat 16B." He added firmly.
"Who cares if I'm in 19E or whatever…" Nick began.
"You're 19D! God dammit look at your ticket you buffoon. This is not Europe we have rules in America. Sit in your allocated seat!" Schmidt yelled, people around them in the gate were starting to look.
Nick opened his mouth to argue back when he felt a small hand reach out and touch his arm. He turned to see Jess big blue eyes beaming up at him and his anger faded instantly.
"Let it go Nick it's not a big deal." She said softly. Schmidt nodded in approval as he and Winston moved forward to the gate desk handing over their tickets.
Nick could hear Schmidt muttering about him still. "You know Schmidt. Rules are Rules." She said in a weird old man voice lightly wagging her finger at him. "Come on, it's only a few hours." She said dragging him to the gate.
Four hours and twenty minutes to be exact, he thought again. Four hours and twenty minutes he wouldn't be near her, be able to talk to her even though she was so close. He was still watching her, he watched as the kid sitting in the seat behind her dropped their stuffed animal by her feet and as Jess bent down and picked it up, however instead of just simply handing it back she did a silly little song and dance up the arm and over the back of her chair. Jess beamed at the child and then threw in some typical Jess funny faces for good measure causing the little girl to giggle and clap.
Nick couldn't help but smile at her actions, the things she would do for people, even total strangers, the image of her dressed up as Elvis flashed in his mind and his smile grew. She was completely ridiculous but in the most amazing kind of way. Still smiling Jess looked away from the little girl and looked up at Nick. Nick felt his heart thump as he saw her brilliant blue eyes gleam and her smile seem to grow even wider looking at him. Nick returned her smile warmly, he wanted to say something, try to keep her attention in some way but it was a little awkward seeing how they were four rows apart and on a plane filled with total strangers. Evidently not sensing his silence plea for her attention Jess simply pulled a funny face and stuck her tongue out at him like she had just done to entertain the little girl before turning back to Winston. Nick felt his stomach dip as she turned away and he felt the plane leave the ground. Nope, four hours and twenty minutes was not going to work for him.
26 Minutes In
It was finally going to happen, any minute now, Nick was going to lose it, he was going to snap and finally murder Schmidt. No matter how hard he tried he just couldn't seem to drone out his friends continual bleating and whinging about his god damned missing bag. Nick had lost count of the number of jar comments he had made since they had taken off, he figured maybe Schmidt should just start making a monthly deposit from now on. His entire activity for the flight so far had been a combination of trying to block Schmidt's words and psychically communicate with Jess to get her to turn around, look at him, anything but he had so far been unsuccessful on both counts. Suddenly he felt a hard thud on his right arm.
"Ow." He said turning to his friend. "What the hell Schmidt?"
Schmidt glowered, "Are you even listening to me?"
Nick shook his head, "I've been doing my best not too for the past half hour…hell for the past ten years." Nick muttered.
Schmidt took a deep breath and looked at Nick mouth agape, "How. Very. Dare. You." He said incredulously. "Here I am pouring out my heart to my supposed best friend…"
"Schmidt you've been whining about your god damn bag case since we took off." Nick snapped, shooting the back of Jess's head another quick glance.
"Actually Nicholas if you had any sense of common human decency and had actually been listening to what I was saying just now you would know I was in fact talking about CeCe." Schmidt said in a serious tone.
Nick turned to his friend, crap he thought; maybe he should have been listening. He knew how hard CeCe getting engaged had been on his friend, he knew how confusing it was to want someone you couldn't have…or at least weren't sure how they felt about you. "Look I'm sorry man," He said genuinely apologetic. "I'm all ears, seriously, whatever you were saying before…go."
Schmidt beamed at him, "Well as I was saying I don't know how I'm going to break the news to CeCe."
Nick stared at him confused and a little worried, "What news?"
"That I lost my favourite Cundies." He said as if this were a valid explanation.
Nick's brow furrowed further, "Schmidt, what the hell are you talking about? I don't speak douche!"
"In my bag Nick! Which this so called 'airline' lost," he said doing far too exaggerated air quotes. "It had my special underwear in, the pair I wore the night CeCe first let me into her temple of treasures…my CeCe undies…my Cundies!" he said fondly, clearly re-playing the memory in his mind.
Nick screwed up his face in utter disgust, "God Schmidt what is wrong with you? Seriously! Jar."
Nick went to scold Schmidt some more when he heard a small ping above his head, he looked up and saw the seat-belt sign had switched off. Thank god for that, he thought, I need to move, I need to get away from Schmidt for five minutes, just take a walk, maybe stop by row 16…
In that moment he looked over to see Jess was on her feet, stretching her arms in the air as she let out a huge yawn, causing her short dress to rise up further, revealing more of her thighs. Stop it, he scolded himself, she was probably exhausted, she had done so much over the past couple of days, for the funeral, for him and all he could think about was her thighs, her perfect thighs...he remembered how she had felt in his arms only a few short days ago, how light and soft she was when she lifted her in the air and down on to the table, just as they were about to…
Nick actually physically shook the memory form his mind, now was not the time to reminisce about that particular incident. But he could not turn his attention away from damn row 16. He watched as Winston also rose to his feet as did the guy who had the window seat, Nick frowned slightly as he took in this new character. He was tall, a lot taller than Nick, dressed in a fancy suit probably designed by someone with an unpronounceable name which would cause Schmidt to jump up and clap his hands like a seal. He was handsome too; like the guys in those awful romantic comedies Jess forced Nick to watch relentlessly, all shiny hair, smiley and soft. He was probably called Clint or Brad or something, he had that look about him. Nick didn't like the look of him at all.
Nick watched as Winston made his way passed Jess and down to the front of the plane to the bathroom then turned his attentions immediately back to Jess and the handsome man. Nick watched as Jess picked up her stuff and stepped out her seat, the handsome man followed suit and stood tall pointing for Jess to take his seat by the window. Jess beamed a smile of thanks and moved back to take his now vacant window seat. Nick watched as the handsome man lightly touched Jess's back as she passed him as though he was guiding her but the whole time his eyes raking up and down her body. No, Nick definitely did not like this guy. And four more hours of watching him drool over Jess was not going to work for Nick, he had to do something. He released his seat-belt and sprung out of his seat without a word, ignoring Schmidt's call after him. He headed straight for row 16.
"Hey excuse me pal." Nick said feigning as friendly voice as he could muster for the handsome pervert man, tapping him lightly on the shoulder. "Can I get in there for a sec?"
The guy looked up from his newspaper, clearly confused, "What…who are you?" he said looking up and down the aisle, clearly looking for Winston. "Someone's sitting here."
Nick nodded, "I know, it's cool..." He said brushing past the guy, not so gently pushing his legs out of the way before taking Winston's vacant seat. "We're together." He said firmly as he sat down nodding to Jess. Of course he meant together as in part of the same group, just four roommates traveling back together. The handsome man seemed to understand, nodding and giving a slightly disappointed shrug before he turned back to his newspaper.
Jess sat with her head lent against the window, eyes closed and had missed the little game of musical chairs that had just occurred. Hearing the kafuffle she opened her eyes, "Nick?" she asked confused sitting up.
"Hey Jess." He said, flashing her a half smile.
"Hey." She returned the favour with a typical Jess smile which always made Nick's heart beat just that little bit faster. "You switched seats Nicholas! Schmidt will be furious…sit in your allocated seat!" she said doing a pretty spot on impression of their anal roommate.
Nick shrugged, "So did you."
"Ah yes but I am a rebel, a maverick. I don't let no stinking airline tell me where I can and can't park my caboose!" she said feigning outrage talking in that quirky southern accent she loved to do.
Nick rolled his eyes but couldn't help but laugh, "Your caboose?"
Jess nodded, "Yep. Besides I tried to sleep but my head kept flopping all over the shop in the aisle seat and I don't think Winston would appreciate me drooling on his shoulder for the next four hours so Brody here…" she said pointing to the handsome man beside Nick. "…very kindly offered to switch seats with me so I could sleep against the window. Isn't that nice?" Jess said innocently, letting out a small yawn.
Nick shot a quick scowl to this Brody character, "So nice." He said through extremely gritted teeth.
Jess gave him a small frown, "Anyway, what can I do for you Miller. Sup bro?" she asked, stifling another yawn.
Nick frowned, "Sup bro?" he said. "No Jess, just no."
She shrugged, "You ok?" she tried to sound nonchalant but he knew she was still worried about him following his alcohol-filled meltdown before the funeral.
"I'm ok Jess," He began, she raised one eyebrow at him but he shook his head. "Really I'm alright…I just wanted to talk to you."
"Sure, what about?" she said, her voice drowsy.
"Well I…what I wanted to say…" He said, his words stumbling as they always seemed to do around her lately. What did he want to say to her? He hadn't made much of a plan beyond coming over here and getting in between Jess and the handsome stranger. Mission accomplished, he told himself, what the hell was he going to do now? She was staring at him, her eyes wide and tired but glued to his. "What I was going to…"
"Nick?" called a surprised voice behind him. "What you doing?"
Nick turned to see Winston standing confused beside Brody. Crap. "Err I…" Nick began, "Schmidt wants to talk to you, so I said I'd switch with you."
"About what?" Winston asked. "Not about his damn bag man! I can't do it!"
Nick shook his head, "No, no he's real upset about…" Nick paused. "CeCe! Yup CeCe he wants to talk about CeCe." He said triumphantly, pleased with his quick and convincing thinking. Julius Pepperwood would have been proud.
Winston's face fell. "Ah damnit." He said begrudgingly stomping over to row 19.
Nick turned back to Jess who had a concerned look on her face, "What?"
"Is Schmidt ok? I know CeCe getting engaged must be so hard for him." She said shooting a worried look to their friend. "Maybe I should talk to him; she's my best friend after all…" Jess went to stand up but Nick pulled her back down.
"No!" he said firmly. "No, no really its fine…its guy talk you know." He said hoping she would just let it go.
Jess gave a small shrug, "Ok. So what was it you wanted to say Nick?" she asked this time unable to contain the giant yawn which escaped her.
Nick looked at her again, now he was close to her he really could see how tired she was. He smiled at her, "It's nothing Jess, we can talk later. Why don't you try and get some sleep?"
She shook her head. "Nick I'm fine really, I'm not even that tir…" she began to protest before she yawned again, bringing her hand to cover her mouth. "…tired. Sorry Nick." She added apologetically.
"Don't be ridiculous Jess, come on…sleep." He said firmly. "You can even use me as a pillow."
"Really?" she asks. Nick nods and she immediately links her arm in his, nestling her head in his shoulder. "Thanks Nick." She says into his arm.
"No problem." He said quietly as he rests his head against hers. He has to use all his willpower not to lean down and place a soft kiss on the top of her head. It feels so good to be close to her again, to feel her body against his. He watches as her chest heaves up and down softly, realising she really must be exhausted as she falls asleep almost instantly. He closes his eyes, still keeping his head close to hers; this is most definitely a better way to spend the next four hours he thinks. He's just about to drift off when he feels a sharp poke in his right shoulder. "What the…"
He opens his eyes to see Winston staring at him once more. "Winston man…"
"Schmidt said he has no idea what you are talking about." He said clearly annoyed. "And he also said does your booze addled brain not understand the concept of allocated seating?"
Nick shrugged, "Whatever man, I must have got it wrong. But I can't move now, Jess is asleep…" he said nodding to the sleeping form beside him. "And you know better than to wake a sleeping Jess."
Winston opened his mouth to reply when his eyes looked down at Jess's arms linked with Nicks, her sleeping body snuggled into his and Nick could have sworn he saw a quick smile appear on his friends face. "Sure man, whatever you say." He said before walking back to Schmidt with a knowing smile.
2 Hours 10 Minutes In
Nick had tried and failed to try and fall asleep for the past two hours but it was proving impossible. It was all Jess's fault; it was always her fault lately that he couldn't sleep. But usually she would only plague his mind, thoughts and memories of her driving him crazy whilst she slept across the hall but now she was here, curled up beside him and it was an entirely new kind of hell. Nick didn't know if it was because she was on a plane or if Jess was just a restless sleeper but she just couldn't seem to stay still, she was constantly moving her body, accidently rubbing her limbs against his and then there were the sounds she was making. Every so often she would let out a small sigh or moan, causing Nick to take a deep breath and make a mental note to control himself.
It was his own stupid fault, he had wanted to be near her, to be close to her but now he was it just wasn't enough. He wanted to reach out, to touch her; to kiss her…it was driving him crazy. Maybe he should have followed the rules and stayed in his damn allocated seat. He closed his eyes once more and willed his mind to switch off, to push all thoughts of the dark haired temptress beside him from his mind and just let him sleep when he heard a deep moan fall from her lips. His eyes shot open immediately, he watched as Jess curved her body closer into his.
"Mmmmm…" she moaned softly. "…Nick."
Nick felt his entire body stiffen. Did she just say Nick? Was she dreaming about him? Maybe she had said something else…maybe she said Mick? Who the hell was Mick he thought angrily before shaking his head. So she was dreaming about him that didn't mean she was dreaming about him, the same way he dreamt about her did it? He felt his heart begin to race as his mind betrayed him and replayed his recent imaginings of her, her lips, her skin, her eyes. The way she felt in his arms, the moans she had made against his lips only days before. Is this what she dreamt about? Nick continued to stare at her, willing her subconscious to reveal more but she remained silent, only a few gently sighs escaping her lips as she continued to rest peacefully in his arms.
A little over half an hour later he felt her stirring beside him. Jess sat up slowly, taking in her surroundings, she smiled warmly at Nick. "Hey." She croaked.
"Morning sunshine." Nick said before adding teasingly. "Good dreams?"
Jess's smile grew wider, "Mmm yes…" she said dreamily before her eyes grew wide, "Why? Did I say something?"
Nick smirked and shook his head, "Like what?"
Jess could feel her cheeks turning red, "Oh sometimes I talk in my sleep…I say crazy things…" she stammered.
Nicks smirk grew and there was a dark gleam in his eyes, "No Jess." Jess's shoulders dropped, clearly relieved. "Why what were you dreaming about?"
Jess's whole body grew tense once more, "Um I err…I was…" she stammered, "there were…unicorns and…Eleanor Roosevelt…in a talent show…weeeeeeeird." She said, singing the last word nervously.
Nick chuckled and decided it was best to let it go before she burst into full on song. "Sounds it."
Jess's blush started to fade, "How long was I out?"
"About two hours." Nick said looking at his watch.
"Wow you make a pretty good pillow Miller." She said punching him on the arm lightly.
"Anytime." He replied.
"No really I feel good." She said stretching her arms, "Maybe I should sleep on you more often."
Nick raised his eyebrows at her but didn't say a word simply stared at her.
Jess's slight blush now suddenly flashed crimson. "I…what I meant…" she stammered as Nick simply lent back and enjoyed watching her squirm.
"Any drinks or snacks?" an overly cheery voice called from the aisle. Nick and Jess both looked up at the smiley blonde attendant pushing the food trolley along the aisle.
"Oh thank god." Jess whispered to herself but Nick shot her a quick grin. Jess quickly looked away, grabbing the food menu from the seat pocket in front of her and began studying it very intently, lightly humming nervously.
Brody ordered himself a coffee and a pretty horrible looking BLT sub, Nick noticed he hand a wallet that looked not dissimilar to the many designer ones Schmidt had and for once was glad the guys had made such a big deal about his plastic bag wallet and made him throw it away. Nick leaned in close to Jess, looking over the menu choices, he felt her body grow tense as he did so; he couldn't help but smile to himself. There wasn't much choice, domestic economy fights were hardly the centre of fine food, Nick thought about getting a beer or five, maybe it would help take the edge off and let him relax a little more. But then was getting drunk next to Jess in such a confined space really a good idea? Probably not. Tense and sober it was then, he thought.
"Hi yeah, can we have one Earl Grey tea and a bottle of water." He asked.
The hostess nodded at him, passing him the water first and then the hot tea. "Milk and sugar?"
"Just milk, thanks." He replied, setting down his lap tray for the drinks.
"Any snacks for you sir?" she asked as she handed him two small cartons of milk and a wad of napkins.
He turned to Jess but she shook her head, reached in her bag and pulled out the sandwich bag filled with cheese puffs his mom had given her earlier, "Nope we're good!" she said shaking the bag in the air smiling broadly at him. He gave her a questioning look. "I couldn't open them in my mittens." She said looking slightly sad.
Nick chuckled and paid for their drinks before the attendant shuffled off to the next row. Nick opened the tea and poured in just the right amount of milk, he began to stir when he noticed Jess staring at him. "What?"
"You don't have to make my tea Miller." She said grinning at him.
He shrugged, "Maybe I like making you tea."
He could have sworn he heard her take a sharp breath at his words but didn't say anything. Instead he reached out the paper cup towards her, feeling a rush when their hands brushed one another. They sat in silence for a few moments, Jess blew on her hot tea, clutching in her hands tightly whilst Nick idly played with his water bottle.
"So…you met my family." Nick said after what seemed like an eternity.
Jess smiled and nodded, "I know it wasn't exactly the greatest circumstances but it was cool to see where you grew up. To meet The Millers."
Nick frowned, "Yeah sorry about that…about the way they are."
"No Nick, I liked them, really." She said genuinely. "Your nieces and nephews were all great and your brothers a sweet guy if maybe a little inappropriate…" she said with a small chuckle. "And your mom is really…nice."
Nick took a sip of water and nearly spat it out at her words, "Jess I love my ma to pieces, I really do but she's terrifying."
Jess wouldn't meet his eyes; she just lightly traced her fingers around the rim of her paper cup. "Ok maybe she was a little…reserved to begin with but it's totally understandable, she had just lost her husband and she was going through a lot…"
Nick sighed, "She doesn't mean anything by it Jess, really it's just the way she is. I think it has something to do with being married to Walt for thirty-five years, she's super suspicious of people from the get-go, she doesn't get why someone would try and do something just to be nice."
Jess pulled a face, "Jeez who does that remind me of?" she said sarcastically before taking a sip of her tea.
Nick laughed, "But I know she really appreciated everything you did Jess."
Jess smiled, "I guess it all worked out in the end, hence exhibit cheese puffs!" she said happily holding up the bag again as though it was some sort of prize.
Nick took the bag and opened it, "Yep that's the Bonnie Miller seal of approval right there. The first time Schmidt came to visit she sent him home with enough to last six months, but of course then he was fat Schmidt so I don't think they even made it back to L.A." Nick joked.
Jess smiled at his words, she was pleased that Bonnie had warmed up to her; she was even more pleased at Nick's happiness in his mother's approval of Jess. But approval for what she wondered taking a handful of cheese puffs shoving them into her mouth.
"Hey Jess, I just wanted to say thank you for everything you have done over the past couple of days." Nick said his voice suddenly low and serious.
"Don't mention it Miller." Jess tried to say but what mostly came out was cheese puff crumbs. "Sorry." She said, her words still muffled with food, she was so embarrassed.
Nick didn't say anything he simply took one of the napkins and wiped her face, keeping his eyes on hers the whole time. Jess could feel her cheeks blush again but knew this time wasn't from embarrassment but the intensity of Nick's eyes on hers.
"I'm serious Jess. I don't think I could have got through this without you." He said so quietly she barely heard him.
Jess moved her head a little closer to his, "Nick I told you I got your back, no matter what." She reached out and gently touched her hand on his arm. "I'm gunna be there."
Nick nodded, her words echoing the caring and thoughtful speech she had made to him at the funeral. He knew what he wanted to say, what he wanted to tell her but he couldn't find the words to match hers, to match everything she had done for him. He wondered if he ever would. An awkward silence fell between them once more.
Finally Nick cleared his throat, "So in the ghetto huh?" he said trying to sound as light hearted as he could.
Jess flinched slightly, "It's the only Elvis song that I knew had Chicago in it!" she said in her defence. "Besides the only other ones I know all the words to were Suspicious Minds and Jailhouse Rock. Neither of which would have been very tasteful given Walt's err…business ventures." She whispered the last two words causing Nick to laugh. "Also then your mom would have definitely hit me and it would have been no cheese puffs for Jess!"
"You're right." He held his hands up, "In the ghetto was a real crowd pleaser. You were really good Jess, seriously I mean it, if you ever want to give up teaching I think there's a real future in it for you." He said mockingly. "This could be your true calling."
Jess rolled her eyes, "Shut up Nick!"
"I can see it now," He paused looking to the ceiling as if to some imaginary sign were in front of them. "Jessica Day: Dead Male Celebrity Performer. Available for funerals, weddings, bar mitzvahs etc. etc."
Jess stuck her tongue out at him, "Oh yes sounds like a million dollar idea."
"I think so." He said grabbing a hand full of cheese puffs, glad the mood had seemed to lighten between them once more.
Jess tilted her head thoughtfully, "I know your totally mocking me but I have to say I do a pretty awesome James Brown impression. I've totally got the screech down." She said before she opened her mouth ready to scream.
Suddenly Nick pushed his hand to her mouth, silencing any possible James Brown screeches she may emit. "I'm begging you for the love of god Jessica…No."
Jess rolled her eyes at him and nodded. "Fine!" she said sulkily. "But I hope you know Nicholas Miller that you are depriving the good people of flight 1087 of the performance of their lives."
Nick sighed "I'll just have to find a way to live with that." Jess shot him her pouty face and even though he knew this was all just friendly teasing, he felt his heart melt. "Ok I'll make a deal with you at my funeral you can be James Brown? You can do as many songs and screeches as you like. You know what the more I think about it, 'Sex Machine' may just be the most appropriate theme song for Nick Miller's funeral." He said with an awkward laugh. He looked to Jess; but her smile had faded with his words. "Hey Jess, it was just a joke…you ok?"
"I'm fine Nick." She mumbled.
Nick made the confused turtle-face, clearly something he said had upset her and he instantly needed to fix it. "Jess I'm sorry, what did I say?"
Jess didn't answer him she turned away and looked out the window are the dark night sky.
"Jess." He said firmly.
"Nick it's nothing." She said still keeping her back to him.
"Jessica." He snapped tugging at her elbow, forcing her to face him and was unprepared for the deep hurt and sadness in her eyes.
"It's dumb really," She started quietly. "But you remember last year when you had that growth in your neck and we all went a little crazy that night at the bar."
Nick nodded, of course he knew what she was talking about it had been one of the scariest points in his life, when he thought maybe he was really sick, that maybe it was the end for Nick Miller. The details for the day were kind of a blur if he was honest, thanks to Sadie's lady pills and the immense level of alcohol he consumed most of the specifics of what happened from when Jess tackled him to when the ultrasound doctor said he was ok was more than a little hazy.
"Anyway that night at the bar, you talked about your funeral with me. You said you didn't want me to talk at it." She continued, her words laced with hurt. "You said you didn't want me trying to cheer people up with my silly jokes or impressions…"
Nick knew she was trying to sound casual about the whole thing, like his words hadn't bothered her but the memory had clearly stayed with her all this time later.
Then quietly she added, keeping her eyes glued to her paper cup. "…You said I didn't know how to be real."
Nick felt his soul rip in two at her words. He genuinely didn't remember the conversation he had been so out of it that night but there was no doubt in his mind he had said it. It sounded like something Nick Miller would say, god why did he have to be such a jackass sometimes? Maybe he needed a jar as well. Whether he remembered it or not he'd said it and he had to make it right.
"Jess I'm so sorry." He pleaded. "You know I didn't mean it…that night I was so crazy on those pain pills and I was being an ass. I'm really sorry, seriously Jess that is probably the stupidest thing I have ever said," he paused. "And trust me I have said a lot of stupid stuff."
Jess let out a small giggle before she could stop herself, "I know Nick, I do. It's just…" she paused, the light moment between them gone as quick as it came. "I know I'm weird and goofy and all…well Jess and I know it drives you crazy but I always thought you knew…that you could see…"
Oh no her voice was starting to crack. She was going to cry, shit how had this gone so wrong so fast, Nick thought. His plan had been to keep her away from Brody, thank her for all her help with the funeral and then…well who the hell knew maybe some awkward flirty Jess and Nick time. Not Jess all teary and upset because Nick had been a total idiot. Again. He wished he could go back in time and punch past Nick in the face, hard.
"Jess I'm sorry." He said simply, he didn't have much else to say, there was no defence or excuse he could come up with.
Jess shook her head, "Nick its fine, really I don't know why I'm being so silly." She said bending down to grab her purse. "Think I'm just still tired." She lied, searching in her bag. "Shoot no tissues. I'll just go to the ladies." She said standing.
"Jess…" Nick stood standing with her; he didn't want her to go. He needed to make sure she was ok, that they were ok.
As if she could read his mind she reached out and touched his arm gently, "Nick honestly its ok, we're good." She said as she edged her way passed him and Brody, who Nick noticed hadn't changed the page of his newspaper for quite some time and most likely enjoying listen to Nick crash and burn with Jess.
Nick watched sadly as Jess made her way to the front of the plane and joined the small queue for the restroom.
"That a boy Miller." He said. Completely furious with himself and slightly defeated he flopped back down into his seat, giving Brody a quick glare for good measure.
3 Hours 31 Minutes In
Jess had been gone only a few moments but felt like hours. Suddenly Nick felt a harsh pain on the back of his head, the kind he used to get when his ma would give him a whack when he was a kid. He spun around to see Schmidt glaring at him hands on hips.
"This just gets better." He said rubbing the back of his head. "What do you want Schmidt?"
"Don't think I don't know what you're doing Nicholas." He replied. "I've been watching you."
"What?" Nick said glancing over to his previous row 19 seat which now sat empty whilst Winston snored loudly in the middle seat. "Wait Schmidt you swapped seats so you could keep an eye on me? What about allocated seating? What if the whole American infrastructure just falls apart now because you're in the wrong seat?" Nick snapped, it was quite late at night now and a lot of the people around them were asleep so he did his best to keep his voice low.
"Well it's too late for that, everyone seems to be seat hopping away tonight, Jess is in some total strangers seat, Winston's in my seat because you're in his just so you could sit and make googly eyes at Jess all night!" Schmidt whispered.
"I'm not making googly eyes at Jess." Nick replied and he could swear he saw Brody suppress a snort but just ignored him.
"Look Nick I know you're having a tough time right now but you have to stop being selfish…" Schmidt said, Nick opened his mouth to protest but he carried on. "…you have to think about the loft…"
Nick cut him off, "If you say loft dynamic I swear to god Schmidt I will punch you in the face."
Schmidt stared at him exasperate, "But I'm right Nick and you know it. There are two other people in that loft Nick, not just you, Jessica and your overactive hormones! You aren't thinking about me!"
Nick glared at him, "No Schmidt surprisingly when I think about me and Jess I don't think about you."
"Aha! See I knew it, you said 'me and Jess' you traitor! You scoundrel!" Schmidt growled lowering his face closer to Nick's, pushing Brody's paper out of the way. The guy was becoming increasingly uncomfortable with this seating arrangement.
"Did you just call me a scoundrel?" Nick asked. That was definitely not a word used to describe Nick Miller.
"I did sir." Schmidt replied crossing his arms and shaking his head.
"Jar." Nick said.
Schmidt shrugged, "Whatever. Maybe I'll get you a jar, a no-boning-our-roommate-and-therefore-ruining-every ones-lives-jar."
"Catchy name." Nick rubbed his hand down his face. "Just go away Schmidt."
"Fine, I'll go. But let me leave you with these parting words Nick Miller…" he said ominously.
"Please don't."
"The oath." Schmidt said his eyes wide. "You kissed Jess, so I kissed had to kiss Jess. If you nail her…"
"Schmidt!" Nick yelled now, not caring if he woke people up.
Schmitt held his hands up, "Hey it's not my rules, it's the no nail oath Nick. Oath! As in we oath to do something…we solemnly swore as bros not to nail Jessica Day!"
"Somebody say my name?" Jess said brightly appearing behind Schmidt.
Nick really could take no more, this was beyond ridiculous now. He just shut his eyes and hung his head in his hands, praying to whatever god that was out there would parachute Schmidt off this plane.
Schmidt turned to Jess and gave her a very serious look, "Jess you are my friend and you know I care about you."
Jess nodded, "Ok…thank you." She said not sure what was going on.
"But I cannot support this. We have to think about what's best for the greater good, you understand?" Schmidt asked as Nick let out a small groan into his hands.
"Not at all." Jess answered simply.
Schmidt nodded and patted her arm gently. "Just think about the consequences Jess." He said before walking back to his seat.
Jess stood there for a moment that was weird even for Schmidt she thought. She brushed passed Brody and Nick back to her seat, lightly tapping Nick on his shoulder as she did so. "What the hell was that about?"
Nick shook his head in disbelief, "Cabin pressure seems to amplify douchebag tendencies. He is going to be making a serious jar deposit when we get back."
Jess chuckled as she settled back into her seat; Nick noticed she seemed genuinely brighter and happier than when she had rushed off to the bathroom. He was relieved. He hated that he had upset her. Then suddenly Nick couldn't get Schmidt's words out of his head, what he had said about consequences and ruining everyone's lives. Is that what would happen if he and Jess got together? Roommates dating each other certainly had its issues, would he really want to live with a couple if Schmidt or Winston moved one of their girlfriend's into the loft? God what was he saying she wasn't his girlfriend, they had never been out on a date, they had never had sex, hell they had never even really discussed what they felt for each other. What if it didn't work out? What if he messed it all up, which if history had taught him anything it was that Nick Miller ruining a relationship was pretty much destined to happen. And he couldn't go that to Jess, he couldn't lose her.
God maybe Schmidt was right, maybe this was a mistake. Nick scolded himself internally, if Schmidt was the voice of reason then that's when you knew the situation was messed up. He'd made up his mind, he would let it go, give it some time and let the tension pass and hope that things went back to normal. It was for the best, it was the right thing to do, he told himself.
Then she touched him. It was just a gentle, innocent touch as she reached out and took his hand in hers giving it a slight squeeze, pulling his mind to her but it ignited a fire in him. A burning desire and passion he'd kept locked away for months now, dozens of images flashed through his mind, of Jess's lips on his, her body crashed hard against his, of her dancing and singing around the loft in her god dam pyjamas, of the two of them laughing together and yelling at each other, the image of her dressed in full Elvis costume gently holding his hand at perhaps the toughest moment in his life. Then there other images, an endless parade of her smile, her eyes, her stunningly beautiful crystal blue eyes which seemed to be able to stare straight into Nick's damage soul, always searching for a way to comfort him, for a way to make him better, happy.
And in that moment he knew he didn't care if this was a mistake, if this would ruin things not only for them but for all their friends, he didn't care he just couldn't not do it. He had to be with her, she had to be his. He was going to tell her and then he was going to kiss her, he just had to. Suddenly he was brought back as she gave his hand another light squeeze.
"Earth to Captain Miller." She said in a robot voice. "Hey, did you hear what I said?"
"Wh…" Nick shook his head. "No."
Jess let out a slightly annoyed sigh and shook her hand free from his. Nick felt instantly disappointed at their loss of contact. Touching her seemed to stir the confidence within him. "Sorry Jess, what did you say?"
"I asked you when you were back at the bar?" she asked.
The certainty and confidence Nick had evaporated as Jess mentioned the bar. He didn't want to think about work, his manager and recent bed buddy, especially not now!
He shifted uncomfortably not able to meet Jess's eyes, "Um I don't know, my next shift is supposed to be Thursday but I might need to make up some time I guess. I should probably call Shane when…"
Nick stopped himself as he saw Jess literally flinch at the sound of her name.
"Oh yes I'm sure Shane will be very understanding." Jess snarled saying Shane's name as though she still couldn't believe it. "And you'll figure a way to make it up to her somehow."
Nick sighed, he knew he probably deserved the dig but he really didn't want to have that conversation now. "Jess…"
Jess held up her hands, "No Nick I'm sorry that was totally out of line." She said genuinely apologetic. "It's none of my business."
Nick leaned in closer to her, "Jess listen to me, Shane and I…"
Jess shook her head violently as if she could not bear to hear what he would say next. "Nick really its ok, I really don't want to talk about it and I don't think this is the best time." She said pointing around to their enclosed surroundings.
"Maybe this is the perfect time to talk about it. We can't run away. We have to talk about this Jess." He said firmly. "We need to figure this out."
Jess was a little taken aback by his words, a mature and sensible approach from Nick Miller? Maybe he really was a changed man. She nodded anxiously, "Ok then. You go first."
Nick took a deep breath and rubbed his hand across his tired forehead, he leaned on the armrest that separated them. "Shane and I…we…it wasn't…" he mumbled. Why was he so bad at this? Why couldn't he just say what he felt? "…it wasn't a real thing." That sounded awful, he thought.
But Jess being Jess seemed to understand him instantly and nodded, "I know." She said softly. "Your piggy just wanted to go to the market and hers was open."
Brody literally spat his coffee everywhere at Jess's words, Nick turned to see he didn't even bother with the paper charade anymore; he literally sat there enjoying the little soap opera which had taken up the majority of his flight.
Nick glared at him, "You ok pal? Watch you don't choke."
Nick also cringed at Jess's words, he really wished he had used a different analogy when he had tried to explain this to her the other night. Then he paused remembering he only used the 'piggy' reference because she had done it first, when she had literally tried to rip his pants off, when she had said she wanted him. The thought made him smile.
He lent in closer to her, keeping his vow low. "Yes but like I said that was only because I thought your door was closed." He said softly. "After the kiss, after Sam, the oath crap and all the weirdness I thought that was it, that you had shut the door for good. And at first I thought maybe it was a good thing, things were starting to go back to normal, we started to feel like us again."
Jess stared at him "Then why didn't you tell me about Shane? If my door or market or whatever was closed."
"Honestly I don't know, I guess it was just simpler." He answered. "I never for one second thought you would…that we…but if I had known then of course I would have, I mean it's your door…it's you…"
"I know." Jess replied. "I thought it was just one kiss, one time, not a mistake but that was it, ya know? One crazy hot amazing kiss I'd write to my grandchildren about Bridges of Madison County style."
"Jess I have no idea what that means." Nick said scrunching his face up.
"It's a movie Nick, how have you not seen it! And please don't make that face Nick." She said, her voice slightly strained. "You know I can't deal with turtle face."
"Jess for the hundredth time I don't do a turtle face, I have one face which is this one, unfortunately." He said pointing at his face.
Jess frowned at him, "You do make a turtle face and don't say 'unfortunately' about your face Nicholas Miller, you have a good face, normal and turtle." She said firmly. "And I can't think properly if you make that…" she said pointing to his face. "Face!"
"Ok let's forget about my face for one minute and bad Meryl Streep movies…" he began.
"Aha so you have seen it! Liar!" she squealed pointing her finger accusingly at him.
"I've heard of it, I haven't seen it…" he paused. "That doesn't mean you have to make me watch it Jessica." He said as if he could read her mind.
"Oh no, I'm doing Amazon one day rush as soon as we get back to the loft!" she said with an evil grin.
"Fine, whatever, I'll watch it, I'll watch it every day for a month if we can stop talking about it right now!" he snapped.
"Fine!" Jess snapped back.
"Great." He growled.
"Good."
"Stop it." Nick warned.
"Stop what?" Jess said, her blue eyes blinking innocently.
"Jess…" Nick closed his eyes, breathing. "Things aren't back to the way they were are they?"
Jess didn't answer; she just bit her lip and shook her head.
Nick just looked down at his hands, and then quietly said, "I don't want to go back."
"Ok." Her voice said softly.
Nick looked up at her; her eyes were wide and bright, full of a mixture of fear, hope and something else Nick couldn't quite place. He edged closer to her. "Ok?"
She nodded and flashed the Jess smile Nick swore she saved for him and repeated herself. "Ok."
Nick felt his heart begin to thunder in his chest, ok? Not exactly the romantic declaration he was going for. "Ok as in?"
Jess rolled her eyes, "As in I don't want to go back either." She scooted forward, leaning close so her face was inches from his. Slowly she snaked her hand down between them and reached out for his, intertwining her fingers with his, Nick responded instinctively and stroked her small delicate hand with his thumb.
"Ok then." He whispered then lent forward but Jess pulled back.
"What are you doing?" she asked, worried still clutching her hand in his.
Nick stared at her in confusion, "I was going to kiss you." He said thinking it was plainly obvious, had he misread the situation? Even Nick Miller couldn't misunderstand the word 'ok' for god's sake.
Jess looked anxious, "Alright…but not a proper Nick kiss." She said as though this cleared up everything.
Nick laughed, "A what?"
"You know a Nick Miller kiss, the kind that leads to exploding fish tanks and knees turning to jelly." She said simply as Nick's face broke into the biggest grin. "Not here, I don't think it would be good for the plane, it might cause a propeller to explode or something."
Nick couldn't help but laugh at her , with his free hand he reached up and gently stroked her cheek, brushing away one flyaway dark curl, before muttering his favourite new word. "Ok."
Jess's face broke into a beaming smile as he guided her face closer to his, his lips brushed lightly against hers and he felt that burning desire reignite inside him once again. She tasted so sweet on his lips, he cursed himself for all the wasted months he hadn't had the courage to kiss her, as he deepened their kiss he knew there would never be anything better than kissing Jess. Well maybe there would be one thing better than kissing her, he thought to himself, his mind beginning to wander. He didn't notice when their entwined hands separated, hers immediately grasping at his side whilst his raked up her soft thighs, god how badly he had wanted to touch her for so long, to have her. She moaned against his mouth as his tongue swept into her mouth, suddenly he felt a loud and none too subtle cough beside him which brought Nick back to the reality that they were not alone, not by a long shot. Against all his desire and wanting he broke away, Jess actually whimpered as he took his lips from hers.
He didn't want to stop now but he knew they had too. "Jess." He said leaning his forehead against hers.
"See…I told you…" Jess said through slightly ragged breaths. "…Nick Miller kisses…dangerous."
He smiled at her words, "I think the plane's safe for now." He said giving her one last quick kiss. He sat back in his chair wrapping one arm around her pulling her close to him. "Come on it won't be long till we land now."
Jess smiled against his chest. And they sat for the rest of the flight, wrapped up in one another, constantly touching, little gestures like Jess drawing shapes on Nick's chest or Nick running his hands through her hair, just because they could. They barely spoke; they mostly sat enjoying the comfortable silence that surrounded them. They both knew they would have to have a real talk eventually, actually try and figure the reality of this crazy situation out but for now they were ok and Nick was more than ok with that.
4 Hours 20 Minutes
The plane landed smoothly and Nick could not help but grin as Brody made an exceptionally swift exit not wanting to be involved in any more of their odd drama. They made their way through the terminal Nick took Jess hand in his, keeping her close to him at all times. Schmidt made an over the top scoffing sound at their actions, muttering more angry comments about oaths and bros but Winston merely gave them a small grin as he followed them.
Finally they stood waiting for a cab; Nick wrapped his arms around Jess placing a soft kiss on the top of her head as she hugged herself tightly to his chest.
"Please can you two stop being so inappropriate." Schmidt snapped. "You're going to make me bring up my croissant."
"Jar." Winston and Nick said in unison.
Schmidt turned to Winston in horror, "Oh please don't tell me you support this…this abomination."
Winston just shrugged, "Not my business."
In that moment Nick knew why he had been friends with Winston pretty much all his life. He gave his oldest friend a nod of thanks. Jess beamed at him from Nick's tight embrace. Schmidt had lost it now; he was walking up and now the sidewalk rambling incoherently to himself. The others simply chose to ignore him.
Winston turned to Nick and Jess, "It's still early, do you guys wanna get some food or head to the bar?"
Nicks arms tensed instantly around Jess's body. He went to open his mouth but Jess responded first.
"Nope. I think Nick needs to go to the market." Jess said softly.
Nick stared at her in confusion for a moment then smiled as Jess winked not too subtly at him. "Yeah man, the market, I really need to go to the market. I hear it's a good market."
"Good?" Jess asked. "It's the best frigging market you're ever going to go to mister!" she said pulling Nick lips towards her.
Winston stepped away whilst he might be cool with the two of them together he still didn't need to see that.
"Hey cab's here guys." Nick called breaking his lips from Jess.
Schmidt appeared at Winston's side, "They're talking about sex you know Winston. They're going to have sex. In our apartment."
Winston nodded, "Yes Schmidt, somehow I managed to crack their master code."
Schmidt glared at him, furious that he was not furious, "How are you ok with this? It's going to be a disaster!"
Winston watched as Nick led Jess to the cab, holding her hand tightly whilst he carried both of their bags in his other hand. He watched as he opened Jess's door and placed a quick kiss on her lips as she jumped in the back. Then Nick turned to them wearing the most genuine and biggest smile Winston had seen on him in a long time.
"You guys coming?" Nick asked before sliding in next to Jess.
Winston smiled, "You know what Schmidt I think it's going to be ok."