AUTHORS NOTE: THIS IS AN ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN KURT AND BLAINE. RATED T FOR SELF-HARM. I DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO LOOK OVER IT BEFORE I POSTED IT SO PLEASE TELL ME IF I HAPPENED TO HAVE MADE ANY MISTAKES, I TRIED TO QUICKLY EDIT IT. IT WOULD MEAN A LOT TO ME THAT IF YOU READ THIS PLEASE REVIEW?
DISCLAMER: NOT MINE. NEVER HAS BEEN SADLY NEVER WILL BE. ANYWAY, ON WITH THE STORY!
Blaine didn't know how he somehow ended up here all over again, in his bathroom with the cool blade of a razor sliding across his skin. A jagged line appeared where the blade had just been, his crimson blood oozing out of it. Tears were running down the features of his face. Him and his dad had yet again gotten in another fight about his sexuality and he just couldn't take it anymore. He wanted all him pent up rage and depression about it to just go away and cutting was the only way he knew how. Ever since he was in 8th grade and came out to his family. He had been dumb to think that his father, his homophobic father, would just be ok with it and take it in stride. They fight about it daily and one time he ended up in his bathroom crying. Grabbing the sink and looking into the mirror set him off and he grabbed the closest thing to him and just chucked it at the wall. That thing happened to be one of his razors and it broke apart leaving the blade out in the open. Blaine grabbed it, hand shaking, and just stared at it for a long time mustering up the courage to do something he hoped would help him. It could have been minutes or hours, he didn't know and didn't really care, but he finally put it against his wrist and cut. It left him with a stinging sharp pain at first but it slowly made him feel better and ever since that faithful day back in his 8th grade year he had been a cutter.
A beep from his phone hurtled him back into reality. Picking it up and reading it made him nervous. It was a message from Kurt telling him he'd be by in a few minutes to pick him up for their date. Blaine totally forgot and it put him in panic mode. The cuts were so obvious and fresh, they were still bleeding and he didn't have anytime to do anything. He grabbed his wrist willing the cuts to stop bleeding and hissed at the sudden pain it brought him by touching it. As if by some miracle the bleeding had subsided, and all Blaine could do was thank god. Kurt didn't know about his cutting problem, he hoped he never would. Blaine wanted to stop but something seems to be holding him back from actually trying to stop each and every time his eyes fall upon the blade. He wanted to ask and beg for help but he didn't know how so he never did.
While bandaging up his wrist a knock came from his dorm room door. "Hold on!" he yelled rushing out of the bathroom and threw on the closest sweat jacket he could find. He took a second to catch his breath and put on a fake calm expression and threw open the door. "Hey babe" Kurt stated while looking at him slyly before he kissed him. Once Kurt's lips were on his Blaine seemed to feel better. Everything else slipped from his mind except everything to do with the amazing boy whose lips were now attached to his. This is how he wanted it to always be. Without worries and problems. When they detached from each other Kurt just smiled at him. Blaine tried to smile back the best he could because once their lips were no longer kissing reality hit him head on. Kurt didn't seem to notice though he just looked at him and asked, "What did I do to be able to have someone as great as you?" little did he know though it was what the other was thinking too. "I don't know babe I'm pretty sure It's me that doesn't deserve someone as wonderful as you" Blaine whispered back. Kurt mockingly slapped him in the arm laughing. Blaine let out a small laugh because Kurt didn't seem to pick up on the fact that he was being serious.
"So the movie at the drive in was canceled because apparently it's supposed to rain tonight. Whatcha want to do instead? I heard the new Smurfs movie was pretty good." Kurt said to Blaine while walking into his room. "Or we could just chill in here tonight because your lucky enough to have your own room since your room mate dropped out" Kurt added with a laugh while sticking his tongue out at his boyfriend. That was something Blaine was oh so happy about, the fact he got his own room this year. It gave him the freedom of not having to worry if he's going to disturb anyone when him and his dad got in a fighting match over the phone or being walked in on when he slashed his wrists. Realizing the taller boy probably wanted an answer Blaine stuttered out that they should probably go and see a movie. He just needed to be out, it felt as if his room was suffocating him with the pain and guilt he felt. Kurt agreed saying he thought there was a showing of Smurfs in about 30 minutes. As he was walking out of the door he grabbed Blain's wrist meaning for his hand. The shorter boy took in a small, quiet breath because his wrist was still raw. Making his face go blank. Kurt noticing the shorter boy's pain had questioned if he was at all ok saying he looked like he was in pain. Not believing him he gave in a questioning look. After assuring him Blaine took his hand and led him out the door with a fake smile.
They got about halfway down the hall before Blaine had stopped them saying he forgot his phone. He told Kurt to just wait there and he'd be right back. Opening the door to his room he spotted his phone on the sink in his bathroom. He ran in a got it but not before he got a glimpse of something shining in the corner of his eye. Looking over he saw that he forgot to hide his blade again. Tears began to swell up in his eyes. Not from anything in particular but just from everything, Mostly because he lost his probably one and only chance for help tonight. He could have told Kurt that he wasn't ok; he should have told Kurt he wasn't ok. Something stopped him though, it seemed something always stopped him. He wants to tell him, he wants help. He loves Kurt so much and hates hiding this from him but he has to. For some unknown reason he has to. He quickly wipes the blood off the blade and hides it again under his sink and grabs his phone. He's almost out the door before he stops himself. He wipes away the tears from his eyes and takes a deep breath. He opens the door and when he starts walking back to his boyfriend and sees the love in his eyes it both warms his heart and kills him. He wants help from this, but he also knows once he does maybe Kurt would no longer want him. Looking into Kurt's eyes he can only hope the next time he has the chance to get help he would. Who knows though, maybe he never will.