A/N: It's a day of love and cavities~

I wanted to do something for Valentine's Day...horribly last minute, hence the choppiness...no point to this story either! XD

"Oh god."

"Should we run?"

"Buchooouuu! I'm scared!" Kirihara cowered behind Jackal, who was sobbing miserably.

He had not been bombarded with chocolates that day.

Meanwhile, Yukimura was standing shoulder deep, in various sized packages, some which were shaped suspiciously like panties.

Sanada had already disposed of his in an effective manner.

The Tarundoru was a useful skill, he had realized.

On a completely unrelated note, Hyotei's Hiyoshi would wake up to find his back garden with questionable heart shaped packages addressed to Sanada.

The tennis team members were surrounded by sickly sweet scents and a large amount of not-so-innocent items, Kirihara obediently sitting of to one side on Yukimura's orders.

"What do we do with all this?" Yagyuu sighed; trying to free himself from a human sized package where two arms had ripped though, which were grasping at his ankles.

"Kirihara!" Renji all but screamed as Akaya attempted to try one of the glowing green chocolates.

Niou was second to Yukimura in terms of Valentine presents, although most of his consisted of indecent undergarments, as well as voodoo dolls and locks of hair.

"Aw." Niou pouted a he stared enviously at Yagyuu's wrapped up fan girl (they had deduced it was a fan girl from the shrillness of its shrieks). "I wanted one of those."

"Niou." Yukimura warned. "Akaya is listening."

"...shouldn't you be worrying about yourself, buchou?"

"Why do you ask?"

"That mysterious pink blob you received seems to be moving."

"Lots of things seem to be moving actually." Renji pointed out at the large, Atobe shaped statue that had blinked.

"Has anyone seen Marui, by the way?" Jackal asked forlornly, Valentine-less.

"Jirou kidnapped him a few days ago." Renji replied, knowingly. "He drugged Marui then bound him in cable wires and duct tape."

"...Drugged?"

"Got him into a sugar coma."

Jackal cried.

"Here, for you." Yagyuu threw Jackal the fan girl, who was still vainly trying to tug Yagyuu's pants off, all the while screaming, "NOTICE ME SENPAI!"

Jackal caught the wrapped up fan girl and his eyes glistened with tears of joy.

"Ew." The fan girl muttered and punched Jackal across the face. Then proceeded to molest Sanada a bit.

Sanada counted to one in his head and then 'gently' Tarundoru-ed her across the park.

After all, she was a girl.

"But girls and fangirls are different." Niou protested.

"Fourth wall breaking is not permitted." Yukimura corrected.

"Yes, buchou."

"Hold on..." Kirihara trailed off. "Are those clouds of dust in the distance?"

"A new onslaught of fangirls?" Sanada sighed.

"I hope I get a fan girl package like Yagyuu did," Niou said excitedly.

Yagyuu pushed up his glasses. "What stamina they have! What persistence!"

"Shut up and run."

"I swear, we're getting more exercise than all of practice put together."

"THEY'RE GETTING CLOSER!"

"RUN, YOU DOLTS!"

A/N: Happy Valentine's Day guys! ^3^