"Tony!"

Tony jumped in his seat.

"What?!"

"You absolutely didn't get any of that, did you?" Clint raised a brow, ignoring Tony's scowl.

Tony dropped the annoyed look and smirked. "Sorry, Hawkass. I couldn't hear you—" he wrapped his arm around Steve's shoulders and brought the man closer to him to sloppily kiss Steve's reddened cheek, "—over the love I have for Steve."

Clint made a face. Steve gave him a scolding look. Clint raised his hands. "Look, Cap. I don't care if it makes me look homophobic or un-American or whatever, but that just gets more and more disgusting."

Natasha elbowed him in the temple.

Clint's loud yelp covered Bucky's "Seconded," comment.

It was becoming annoying really, alongside agonizing.

Watching Tony and Steve be that perfect couple always sent a knife right through his heart.

It was almost twice as painful as watching Clint and Nat randomly making out in hallways, but that was a different kind of pain. Just get a damn room instead of dry humping in front of his apartment, thanks.

He watched Tony as he just hobbled into the rec room, looking like a zombie. Concern immediately sparked when he saw dark circles under his tired eyes.

He left the room when Tony just plopped on top of Steve and slept on his chest.

Bucky had no idea how it happened. He remembered a bottle of lovely bourbon, Bruce adding some weird chemical to counteract the effects of the super soldier serum...

Then he kind of remembered hazy images of him breaking things, pounding on doors, and suddenly Tony was in his arms and on his lips.

One thing's for sure, Bucky did not appreciate the headache and disorientation when the morning came. But he woke up to Tony stuck at his side so that was all that mattered.

"Someone looks too chipper in the morning," Clint said sarcastically as he walked into the kitchen to hunt for his orange juice. "Especially for someone who wears more damn liner than Pete Wentz back in 2007."

Bucky, who was on the floor beside the fridge, just wallowing in his hangover agony, scrunched his eyebrows together. "Who?"

"You still have a lot of catching up to do." Clint quickly chugged his juice before walking to his seat. "So, who was it?"

"What—"

"Don't even try and lie to me, man. You have this glow. And sex hair."

"I think you're confusing me with Nat."

Clint chuckled. "Don't even mention her name in the morning. She could just come up from behind you and snap your neck."

Bucky wanted to respond but then someone walked in.

"Oh, I finally found you. Bucky, I was wondering…"

Shit.

"Hey, Steve," he greeted nervously.

Shit. How could he just inconveniently forget Tony was in a relationship with Steve? Last night was great but he was not going to be that asshole friend.

"Buck, you okay…?" Steve asked worriedly. "You look a little green."

"What?!" Someone else yelled and of course, in came Tony. "What the hell, Barnes? We just had the best sex last night and you reward this fantastic morning with that face? I mean, you have a great face. So handsome and ever so perfect. But—"

"Tony!" Steve cut him off. "Rambling."

"Sorry, Cap," he said, not looking sorry at all. "Old habits. So, the jig is up. Obviously. Your plane leaves at five."

Why was Steve being so casual about this? He just slept with his boyfriend! What the fuck were they talking about?

"What?" Bucky asked, side glancing at Clint, who was just drinking his orange juice as if he was watching his favorite soap opera.

"We're coming clean about this, babe," Tony said. No, Bucky's heart did not skip a beat. Stop it. "Steve and I are nothing more than amazing platonic buddies."

"Wait what?"

"It was all Sam's idea actually," Steve added sheepishly. "Tony was immediately on board with it if it meant you'd finally do something about it."

"Me? Why me? If it was so damn obvious, why didn't you just come up and ask me?" Bucky asked Tony, narrowing his eyes.

"Because you were so fucking stupid, we wanted to poke fun at it," Clint answered. He was going to ignore that whole we business Clint mentioned. For now.

"How were you okay with this idea?" Bucky asked Steve.

"I wasn't. But Tony did promise a nice trip to the Bahamas with my girlfriend."

It was silent for a few seconds. It was Clint who broke it.

"We should have our own reality show. Just pitchin' it out there. Yep. Nailed it."

Thank you for reading! Feel free to leave a review.