A/N: I love this song, and once again, its not a ROMY SongFic, but this couple is.... just as standard, and....well, Hmm. Its AU. PLEASE leave me a review.... I'm not so sure on this one.... Hell, even if its to say that ___ was a better SongFic.... Or I coulda done this better.... .Okay, yeah, I'm begging for constructive criticism, just not on my spelling/grammar. Lol. Thanks. BTW, 2 song SongFic. Promise.

~Krys

Breathe No More

I've been looking in the mirror for so long
That I've come to believe my soul's on the other side.

Jean Grey sighed and turned away from the mirror again. She looked perfect. As always. She couldn't help it.... It just happened. Just like Kitty was a preppy valley kid. She was EXPECTED to be perfect. To give the others someone to look upto. Perfect Jean with the Perfect hair and the Perfect boyfriend. She wasn't allowed to cut loose. It was alright for Scott to do every now and again, but apparently, this was because he had a temper. She had Perfect disposition. She didn't really get mad. Well, she tried not to. No-one ever saw it. Not even Scott.


All the little pieces falling shatter:
Shards of me too sharp to put back together;

Maybe that's why she felt like this. Constantly like she was on the verge of falling apart. Getting up every morning and putting herself back together Perfectly, for another day of "Lets Pretend".... They didn't understand. They couldn't. They never would. Hell, they didn't have to deal with people's thought invading their minds when they were ill, or just feeling low. They didn't have to worry about objects throwing themselves around the room when they were upset. THEY didn't have to be Perfect 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

She couldn't even relax at her own home. Her Older sister was the one who her parents doted on. She could do no wrong. Jean couldn't do any right, she had to be perfect. Perfect grades, perfect boyfriend.... well that all went to waste when her parents found out she was a mutant. Wreaked everything she had built. Her parents didn't speak to her any more. Disowned. From age 15-18, she had been Charles Xavier's ward. His responsibility. It wasn't fair to put pressure on a cripple, so she had to be perfect there, help him out whenever she could.

She never mentioned that she fell apart every night when no-one was around to hear her. There was never a suitable time to mention that she couldn't be perfect all the time, and it felt like it was killing her.


Too small to matter,
But big enough to cut me into so many little pieces.

Scott didn't know. She loved him and all that Jazz, sure. But she couldn't tell him. He loved her because she was perfect, right? There was no possible way he could know what went through her mind. Sure there was their 'link', but he didn't realise she could project fake images to protect herself. It was rare he saw through it. When he did, he just assumed she was ill. She'd get over it. Of course. She was Jean Grey. She was perfect.

If I try to touch her
And I bleed,
I bleed
And I breathe,
I breathe no more.

Almost everything she did, she hated. She hated herself, she hated the school. She even hated Scott and Professor Xavier sometimes. Not for very long, although she did sometimes wonder. If she wasn't the Perfect student.... or the Perfect girlfriend..... would they still be around her? Would they still want her around them? Probably not. Being perfect was like Rogue being Goth. Rogue was a Goth because it made her feel safe. Jean was perfect for the same reason. Being perfect, she knew where she stood with everyone.

Take a breath and I try to draw from my spirit's well.
Yet again you refuse to drink like a stubborn child.

Her gaze flickered across the hallway to watch Kitty and Kurt, laughing and joking. They didn't hide anything from each other. Jean sighed. She wished that, just for once, her and Scott could be like that. Totally open. Happy. Properly happy, not this fake happy she put on for Scott's beneifit. She had everything she could have ever wanted. So why couldn't she be happy? Because it was a lie.

The kids of the institute weren't allowed to lie, and yet Jean was living a lie. Why didn't anyone notice? Why couldn't she let herself get any closer to Scott? Because he'd hate her. He'd see how weak she really was and he'd hate her. Scott loved Miss Perfect. IF that was what it took to keep him.... So be it.


Lie to me, convince me that I've been sick forever
And all of this will make sense when I get better.

Yes, Jean got Sick, Scott saw her really, and put it down to her being sick. He hated it. He hated her. The real her. Although it had been so long, Jean wondered what she really looked like. The red hair wouldn't be as.... red, or shiny, or perfect. Her grades would be a lower average. Duncan Matthew's wouldn't look twice at her. Same as Scott wouldn't. What was it with Perfect Jean? Why did everyone like her better than ill-Jean, the real Jean Grey?


But I know the difference
Between myself and my reflection.

Yeah, she knew the difference between herself and her reflection. They'd traded places a long time ago. Jeans reflection was the perfect one. She was the flawed one, who hated living like this. Her reflection was the Jean that did everything perfectly. She was the one who cried in the early hours of the morning. If anyone knew, none of them cared. To say the house was full of people who didn't or couldn't sleep, she was doing something right by herself, hiding it. And now, Scott was there, in the kitchen infront of her. Flirting. With Rogue, and Kitty, and even Betsy. Mind you, Betsy was understandable. She hadn't been a model for no reason at all.


I just can't help but to wonder:
Which of us do you love?

What was Scott doing flirting? Scott DIDN'T flirt. As if sensing her prescence, he turned, beconing her over and sliding an arm around the waist of his perfect girlfriend as she reached them. She put on her smiled, for Scott, and her defences up, to keep Betsy out. She ignored the pointed glared from Rogue, and leaned into Scott. This was safe. Scott was safe. He was the Perfect boyfriend.

She didn't want to loose him. He couldn't find out she was flawed. He'd leave her.

So I bleed,
I bleed
And I breathe,
I breathe no-

Taking a silent deep breath, Jean prepared herself for the day ahead. Another day of Pretending, another day of being perfect. Another day of living the lie that was Perfect Jean Grey.

Bleed,
I bleed
And I breathe,
I breathe,
I breathe,
I breathe no more.