Love is a subtle thing

It was at the start of second year of high school: the moment a single request, unbeknownst to me, would bring me closer to one of my greatest friends.

"I need your help with something, Ichijou Raku. But you must promise me to keep it a secret!" said the familiar voice of the girl who I had met just under a year ago, and whom I had befriended since then. Seishirō Tsugumi was her name, and she was rather cute: her navy-blue hair, sitting atop that model face with fair skin and her brilliant red eyes, a sign of her constant state of anger and passion she put into her work.

I-I mean, don't get me wrong! It's pretty well known in my circle of friends that I am head-over-heels for Onodera. Who could resist that innocent face and those big brown eyes of her, as she embarrassedly looks away from eye contact… Wait! I'm getting sidetracked here. My point is that Tsugumi is very beautiful, but I say it as a friend or a brother, that's it! Much like an older brother finally realizing his little sister is growing up. Makes you kind of mad, doesn't it?

Anyways, I had gotten used to Tsugumi asking me for favors, since she doesn't really have any friends outside of our usual group. Plus, I'm always asking her for help and advice, so I figured I should be there whenever she needs me for something. Little did I know I was in for a ride when I blindly offered my help in whatever she needed, without even listening to her request.

"Great! Meet me at the mall tonight at 7 p.m., and don't tell anyone about this! Especially that Four-eyes!" –she said after waltzing off somewhere down the corridor.

Now, I am obviously enough of a gentleman to arrive early, so I showed up at 6:45 p.m. just in case. As I neared the mall, I was able to make out the familiar figure of the little tomboy, wearing the same uniform I had seen her with in the morning, waiting for me. Surprised, I asked "How long have you been here? I made sure to arrive early. Don't tell me my watch broke or something!"

"What? No! It is natural for a bodyguard to arrive as early as possible. I came here right after school and checked possible sniper spots, suspicious activity in the area and made sure the store clerks we will meet did not have criminal records."

Dumbfounded, I replied "That's too early for any normal person! I'm not even Chitoge!"

"Idiot! Imagine the look on my mistress' face if I came back saying her boyfriend was attacked while going out with me! I would never be able to face her again!"

Being reminded that Tsugumi still didn't know about me and Chitoge's fake relationship, I sighed. Although after a brief moment, I noticed Tsugumi's face getting redder for some reason. "Ah. She must be embarrassed because she said she was 'going out' with me." I thought.

Wanting to get her back into her usual mood, I changed the topic: "So what are we supposed to do? And why are you wearing your uniform when it's this late?"

"Well, both things relate. The thing is, two days ago, mistress was trying to refine her cooking skills by making some sashimi, but she confused Fahrenheit and Celsius degrees, and the annex ended up burning." ("Why the hell would you need an oven to make sashimi!?") "By chance, I happened to have brought my clothes for dry-cleaning, and I lost all of them. So I need you to help me pick out clothes for me to buy."

A little suspicious, I replied "Why would you need me to help you buy them? You seem to be able to pick out clothes just fine, if I remember correctly. Just pick your usual white shirts and blazers."

Looking away from my gaze, she said embarrassedly "Well, I've been thinking lately, and perhaps mistress is right: I should dress more like a girl my age. Claude said the most useful ability in a hitwoman's arsenal is not her guns or dexterity, but the ability to blend in with her surroundings. And with this ribbon that quite clearly marks my gender, I stand out too much as a girl dressed in boy's clothes. Besides, I want a second opinion…"

Not being able to resist that blushing face and those big red eyes, I agreed and told her to lead me to our first stop. As the thought crossed my mind, I worryingly said "W-Wait, you are not taking me to buy women's underwear, right?" As I was finishing that sentence, I could already see her fist in front of me, which had so much force behind it I ended up lying on the floor. Oh, that's right; I forgot to mention Tsugumi possesses inhuman strength, capable of taking out thugs with ease. "I-Idiot! Why would I have you helping me pick that!? Just shut up until we get there!"

I lean on the wall of the surprisingly not crowded mall, seeing Tsugumi standing in front of a clothes rack looking at what to try on. She holds out a pink dress in front of her, and starts talking to herself "Aaah! No way can I wear this in public! T-This is just too girly for me… Why must girls wear something so impractical?" Sighing, I realize Tsugumi's predicament and approach the troubled girl. Well…if she needs something practical, what would suit her…? Being enlightened by some sort of god of fashion, I advise Tsugumi:

"You shouldn't worry yourself with starting with the most girly outfit you can find. You've got to put functionality above all if you want to be able to move around as a hitman. Luckily for you, I think I've got just the thing." I proudly declare with my head held up high, as I take some leggings from a shelf behind us and give a quick lecture "These are leggings. They are extremely flexible, but a lot of girls are wearing them these days, so I think you will find they suit your needs perfectly. Plus, the color black can be matched with almost every top for summer."

Tsugumi's eyes quickly lit up, as she pulls on the fabric to test its elasticity "I think this will do."
"Ha! Matching clothes is nothing to Ichijou Raku! I who have imagined Onodera in every single outfit I pass at the mall, this comes naturally!" She quickly comes back with tops of different colors, around 10 if I could guess. "Now go try them on. I will wait for you right here, so take your time."

While waiting, I find my attention drawn to a white dress on display, and start asking myself: "What would Onodera look like if she wore this? So innocent! So pure! Her kind smile on her as she offers me a sandwich for our lunch, telling me to open wide..." My mouth already open, I hear the call of Tsugumi, telling me to turn around.

I am mesmerized by what I find standing behind me. Is this some girl I know from school? No, no, this is definitely Tsugumi; I can see her ribbon atop her hair. But this can't be the same girl that came in with me wearing a blazer and a boy's shirt, right? My heart rate increases rapidly as I stare at the beauty before me. Her slender legs wearing the leggings like a second skin, curving in at just the right angle to give her pronounced hips and a thin waist. Her torso being covered by a pale cream top, which flares out at her hips and wrists. My eyes are instantly drawn to Tsugumi's chest ("I am a guy after all!"), which reveals just enough cleavage for everyone to realize just how much advanced she is from her other classmates in terms of 'growth'. Being quickly distracted by the dangling of a golden bracelet from her wrist, I turn my attention to her face. Yep. This is definitely Tsugumi's face. Her embarrassed face, overflowing with blush, actually. She stutters a little but manages to come up with a response "S-So, do I look, like, good?" My mind returns to earth from whatever cloud it was riding on, and I do my best to give an honest answer: "Yes. Y-You look very beautiful, Tsugumi. I could probably mistake you for a model or something."

…

"H-He said it! I can't believe he thinks I'm pretty! But wait, does this mean he likes me? No, no. I'm talking nonsense again. How could I ever imagine myself as his g-girlfriend? He is just a guy who was nice to me, and on top of that, he is Mistress' boyfriend! I must erase these thoughts from my mind. Yes, yes. Delete, delete…"

"Delete."

"What?" Raku replies with a confused look, but what is he reacting to? "W-wait, did I say that out loud? Oh god! I did say it out loud! W-What do I do? Do I take the easy way out and just shut him up? Hit him? No, no. I should just explain the situation with a clear head so there are no misunderstandings."

"What are you talking about, idiot!? Shut up!" ("As if I could keep a clear head when I'm around him…") "I'll take all of these, and let's go to the next stop: winter clothes. ("Yes, get him to think about something else so I don't embarrass myself any further")

I lead him to the next store, which Mistress kindly recommended as a really 'trendy' store. "Mistress is so nice, giving me recommendations so that I don't have to bother her to lead me around… W-Wait. Why is someone grabbing my hand? That damned Raku… Wait! I'm the one grabbing HIS hand! Damn, I've been thinking so much about everything going on I simply led him like I lead Mistress…"

My hand does not sweat, but it certainly feels hotter. Plus, my heart is ready to pop out of my chest. Prepared to release my grab, I look back at Ichijou Raku's smile, looking downwards so as to not make eye contact. "What! He is enjoying this!?... W-Well, I guess it's not that bad if I just lead him to the store… if we are both enjoying it. Geez, what am I thinking!? Of course I'm not enjoying this at all! I'm mistress' bodyguard, so I can't be enjoying holding hands with his boyfriend… Yes, yes, this is just me making him feel more relaxed around me, so as to smooth my guard duty. Of course."

My ordeal finishes as we reach the store and let go of his hand, relieved but at the same time awkwardly regretful. ("Guess I did enjoy it…") Raku then proceeds to lecture me about my choice clothing. "How do you know all this stuff about women's clothing?" I ask in my suspicion. He seems to be put off by my question, and throws me a relaxed smile "W-Well, it's kind of a long story."

He goes on and on about fabrics, colors and styles, but I seem to doze off. "Was he really enjoying holding my hand? If you think about it, helping me pick out clothing seems like something a b-boyfriend would do… Aaah! I just don't know what to think anymore! While our relationship should just be as friends, I feel at ease when I'm with him. He's Mistress' boyfriend, but I feel a dagger in my heart every time I see him with any other girl, even Mistress. Does that mean I-I want him to be with me? But if Mistress would find out-"

"Hey Tsugumi! Are you listening to me? I told you this should be a perfect fit. Even considering your…assets." –He points out as he hands out a jumper and pair of jeans, while awkwardly staring at the ceiling with a blushing face. I shrug off his remark about my chest, already used to that, and head to the changing rooms. This time, it's a pair of tight jeans, which fit me pretty snugly, together with a black thin jumper that thankfully does not show cleavage, but still manages to hug my curves to show off my figure to all nearby. This is perfect, since it's a modest look that maintains functionality while still making it clear that I am, in fact, a girl.

As soon as I am finished, I hear footsteps behind me, and see Raku quickly entering the small changing room, putting his hands on my shoulders. "W-What are you doing, you pervert!"-I yell out, but am quickly shut up by Ichijou Raku's hand, as he whispers to my ear "Ï think Marika is inside this store. You told me you didn't want anyone find out about me helping you out, right? Let's just keep quiet for a while until she leaves." I quickly notice how small the changing room is, as I feel his breath in my neck, making my face go red. "Then its fine, I guess." I say embarrassed by my clearly apparent blush.

He continues to whisper to me so as not to make the wait in awkward silence "I think I get why you don't want people to find out about this. You are the type of girl to not show any weaknesses, even if that weakness is as petty as not being able to deal with everyday stuff." ("He got me…") "And that's a great motto to have, you know. But once in a while it's good to rely on your friends with stuff like this, when you are not able to deal with it yourself. You would always help me if I needed anything from you, so the least I can do is to be there when you need me." "Ah, there he goes again, committing to help me as the nice guy he is. I think the reason I've fallen for him is because he was the first guy I met that would immediately help me, even if I had threatened his life seconds ago. Thinking about that time, I think the situation was pretty similar to this: the two of us alone, on a cramped space and whispering to each other. The time he called me cute…"

"You look cute in that outfit, by the way." He whispers with a smirk on his face, and simple thanks escapes my mouth.

After what seems like an eternity to me, Ichijou Raku declares:

"Well then, I think the coast is clear!" he says, and leads me off the changing room once he makes sure no one can see us leaving at the same time. I pay for the clothes and treat him to an ice cream cone for his troubles.

"To be able to go out like this, I can't say that I haven't had fun. I'm even smiling as my default expression."-I look at Raku while he is eating his ice cream cone, noticing that he had been having as much fun as I had-"I don't want this to end. I want to be by his side forever, and have this much fun every day. I want to help him with his shortcomings, and I want him to help me with mine. In the end, I realize I am in love with him…"

We finish eating and exit the mall, as I sneak in a look at his face every once in a while, I realize these true feelings of mine. We reach the point where we must part ways, and I wave him goodbye and return home.

Lying on my bed, I take in all that has happened today. "I cannot deny it anymore. I am in love with that man. But that doesn't mean I can simply take him. He is Mistress' boyfriend, after all…"

"No. Mistress' comes before my feelings and me, as does the Bee Hive. But that doesn't mean Mistress should not know about these feelings of mine. If I want to be honest with her, I must tell her my feelings, so I can put all of this behind me."