I am sorry because I am pretty good at summaries. I don't suck at them. I don't even sux at them. I also don't use chat speech. I don't even type up "This is the summary" in my summaries. And despite the summary in the top, I don't have a longer "better" one inline. Wow. I am sorry I don't take 90 percent of this fic with a song with a thin plot either.

And curse me, I actually use a spell check. I don't even wish this was my series. And Sel Finsert, while my character is unoriginal due to the name. I believe this character has shown up a thousand if not a million times already!

This is so unfair, but I actually speak decent Japanese and have been to Japan. So I apologize for this too, because author notes are for apologies and plugging yourself and your accomplishments.

And what's this? I don't really care if you review as long as you are specific with your comments. So I apologize. Because apologizing looks cool.

Sel Finsert rubbed her head trying to understand what was going on. "OK, you are saying that your daughter is Japanese, but you aren't?"

Serena nodded twice. "In the past she was Darien's child, but now she is Seiya's child. Isn't Chibiusa cute?"

Sel's mouth dropped and shook her head. She pulled out a chart from nowhere. She held up a chart.

"You didn't take Sex Ed did you?"

Serena shook her head.

"How about basic genetics?"

Serena shook her head. "But I do know what creamy skin feels like and I once saw gems in Darien's eyes. Or is his name Mamoru. I forget sometimes."

Sel hit Serena over the head with a stick. "Look. There are two sets of genes. One comes from the mother and one comes from the father. These are set with a 1 billion against odds of the child receiving the proper genes from the father."

"But I want Chibiusa to be my child! She's cute and stuff."

Sel rubbed her forehead. A headache was irking her behind her temples.

"If you have a child with Seiya, it won't be Chibiusa!"

"Nope, it'll be Chibiusa," Serena said nodding.

"Chibiusa is Japanese! She speaks Japanese!" Sel finally yelled.

"So?" Serena asked. "She'll just come out speaking Japanese then. Isn't that cool?"

Sel massaged the crease in her brow. She sighed. "Alright, how do you plan to do this."

Serena smiled as she sat higher on her bar stool which was serving as a desk.

"Easy," Serena said cocking her head to one side with a no-duh expression on her face, "I'll use the Silver Imperial Crystal. Wait.. is it the Silver Imperyean Crystal... I don't remember. Whatever it's called. You know that magical stone I carry around."

Sel fell her knees buckle. She held her neck and tried to recover, but the force of Serena's words hit her too hard.

"Did I like swear or something by doing that action with my head?" Serena asked.

Sel turned into a puddle feeling her brain cells melt. Getting a semblance on the situation she rose to her knees.

"No, you didn't swear. And the Silver Crystal has limited capacities. It can revive people. It can make people live longer. It can heal. It can't change the genetic make up of your child so they appear the same!" Sel said finally yelling.

"But I want her toooooo," Serena yelled. "I want her to be Japanese because Japanese people are all trendy these days. They have freedom of expression and wear Lolita stuff every day on the street !"

Sel felt her thighs melt again. The very marrow of her bones must be a watery liquid now.

"Have you been to Japan?" Sel asked.

Serena shook her head.

"Can you speak Japanese?"

Serena nodded. Sel stared at her incredulously.

"I know otaku, baka, yaoi, yuri... and I think senshi and henshin."

"That doesn't count! Do you even know basic Japanese grammar?"

"Why would I need to know grammar?"

Sel didn't feel like explaining.

"Well if Setsuna can erase memories with her time thingie magigie, then why can't I do whatever I want with the silver crystal?"

"She can't erase memories."

"She so can!" Serena replied back. "She doesn't like being like the only lonely one. I think I should get her laid with Hotaru or something."

"Hotaru is 8 years old!" Sel yelled.

"So what? Oh wait, she has Chibiusa or something, doesn't she? Wait, is Chibiusa even born yet? I don't remember. Doesn't matter since all of the Senshi abandoned me again."

"Why did you use the word Senshi? You're in the Dub! Do you even know what Senshi means?"

"'Cause it sounds cooler than Scouts," Serena said nodding.

Sel felt like ripping her hair.

"Do you think Darien will like my gold locks and cerulean eyes after I give birth to Chibiusa?"

"You said you were with Seiya."

"Like having only one lover is no fun! I should cheat and have two."

Sel Finsert muttered, "Let's spread the disease."

"Well if Hotaru can have Chibiusa and Setsuna, then why not give her Helios? Wouldn't that be cool. I'll make the ginzuishou do that!"

"What!" Sel yelled.

"No, wait, I'll make you into Sailor Scout. You can do things like sell girl scout cookies. Wait- even better. I can retire and I'll turn you into Sailor Mary Sue. Isn't that cool? Or do you want a Star in the name or something?"

Sel took out a lead pipe from the dimensional fold where all magical objects come from and swiped it hard against the legs of the bar stool. The stool fell over. Serena screamed.

"What did you do that for? I'll get the Senshi to kick your butt."

"I thought they betrayed you," Sel said.

"Yeah, well, they'll be on the next plane back just to kick you. Then I'll get all their friends and their friend's friends to stomp on you. You insulted me by saying I couldn't give birth to Chibiusa. They will sooo hate you."

Sel tried not to stare at the large plot hole forming at Serena's feet. It probably was her imagination. A hopeful reprieve that there could be such an appearance. She almost wished the pipe was a little longer so it would reach Serena.

A voice called out from the distance. A shadowed figure showed up in the materialized doorway for this occasion.

"Urusenai! Ai to Seigi no Sera fuku no Bishoujo Senshi Sera Muuun. Tsukino Kawatte Oshokiyo!"

Serena's mouth hung. "What did she say?"

Sel said, "She said, I can't forgive you. I am the Sailor-suited Soldier Sailor Moon. In the name of the moon, I will punish you."

"Wha? Why?" Serena asked.

Sel translated for her, "Nan de? Doushite?"

"Anata wa onaji kao desu yo.. Demo sa! Atashi wa ecchi ja nai yo! Yamete yo!"

Sel translated back for Serena."You have the same face. But! I am not perverted! Stop it!"

"No, I meant why is she Sailor Moon? I am Sailor Moon."

Before Serena could say anything else, she heard strange slanted English words. Sel squinted at the light.

In Japanese, Sel asked, "You purified her?"

The figure nodded.

Sel crawled to thank the figure, but the figure disappeared.