[I've been waiting for-] The One

Night fell, and as it did, two of the three Eva Pilots lay awake, trying to sleep, both worried by what they had said to each other earlier that day. And so sleep would not come.

Part One: (Asuka) Why Ever Would you Need a Friend?

"...I've never had a friend."
Verdammt. That again.
"I... Why would I want a friend?"
Why was it haunting her dreams. Was this guilt? She remembered what guilt was.
This felt wrong. It couldn't be guilt.
"What is a friend?"
Could it?
"Who would ever be my friend?"
Verdammt...

Rolling onto her other side, Asuka felt her soft hair flow smoothly as she turned, and had to bite her lip to stop herself from screaming.
It was her weapon, it wasn't soft. It couldn't be soft and be a weapon. It couldn't be smooth and be a weapon. It couldn't flow and be a weapon.
Asuka put all of her mind away from herself, and away from all the others. She isolated the deepest of the things that was herself, and she tried to, at last, get some sleep. But it was futile.

Time passed, and there she was. Sitting there passively. As ever.
Alone. As ever.
"Who would ever be my friend?"
"No-one, you damn doll!"
This was guilt, wasn't it? No. It was more. Dread? Apprehension of a coming storm?
But what storm? She wouldn't be bothered, she was just a little doll...
...There it was again.
It was dread.
It was apprehension.
It was a coming storm.
As it was most of the time, a Human was, and always would be, it's own worst enemy.
She had created her own storm to destroy herself. And now it would be unleashed.

As though she would let it be unleashed. Her own design or not, she would defeat the wave of wraith heading for her.
Patiently waiting for the class to end, and to be released; and for her to be released. Soon Asuka had her way. As she left the building, she chased after her prey, closing on them under the clear blue, open sky.

"H-hey. How are you?"
"I am without concerns."
"But are you content? Are you happy?"
"I have no need to be."
"You also said that you have no need for friends. Maybe the two points are linked..."
"I also have no need for speaking Spanish. Mayhap they are linked also?"
"I just-"
"I thought you had no time for dolls."
"I-"
"Is it just because you are one yourself?"
"No, I-"
"Just because you'd do anything to make them happy, just as I'd do anything they'd tell me to?"
"I am not a doll! And neither are you! Don't let yourself be a doll!"

Not even noticing that she had awoke, Asuka continued her rant, letting the angry dominance fade into the pleading tone of what was her real voice. Her real desires. "I'm not a doll... Please don't say you're a doll... Please don't say I'm a doll... Please don't let yourself be a doll..." Somewhere in Asuka's brain, she realised that she was awake. But it was not as thought she cared.
Rolling over, she stifled her sobs in her pillow, crying as she would have been had the dream had not ended. "I know that I said something that should have hurt you, even if it didn't, but please don't hurt me."
In her head, Asuka heard a soft, level, voice cut though her thoughts, as clear as the cutting memories of the time she'd tried to talk to the first child.
"I am not hurting you. You are hurting yourself."
Oh brilliant, now she was so weak that she had to project the ration side of her mind onto somebody else.
"I am the ultimate in rationality that you know. I am the absolute. It makes psychological sense."
Asuka sniffed, as she realised the implications of what she'd been thinking about, and finally stopped running way and hiding, if just for a moment. She turned, and made herself stop crying, before whispering to herself. "That still doesn't excuse my weakness."
The Rei in her mind smiled at her. "you just need some sleep. You'll feel better in the morning."
Asuka twitched her mouth a little, as she turned over and felt herself finally, truly, fall asleep.
"But how'll you ever feel better?"
There was no response.
Of course their wasn't, she realised. The part of her brain that needed to project onto another person was now one with the rest of her mind. And now whole, her mind knew who would make Rei feel better. The person who'd tried to hurt her in the first place.

Part 2: (Rei) What is Humanity?

Lying alone, as she always did, the lethargic albino rested her body, as she set her mind to work for once. There was much to go over, and so little time to do it in.

Slowing her pulse to a slow throb, relaxing her breathing to a minimum, stopping her body's movement, Rei held her body in a sleep-like state with the power of her mind, which she forced to wake up at long last, breaking the rest she normally allowed it to slip into.

Clearing out all the junk her brain had passively collected that day, she settled on one moment, a moment she'd become fixated on ever since it had occurred and began replaying it over and over. After a few playbacks, she stopped, and thought.

It took her a while to gather anything rational to say. She felt a massive void before her as she thought over the replay. It was something basic and Human that just wasn't there. Something else missing. Oh well, she'd just have to cope without it, as she coped without all the other things that she'd been denied.

Rationality returning from the void, she slowly, ponderously contemplated the meaning of what the second child had said.

"We should be friends"
"Why?"
"Because it would be convenient!"
"...I've never had a friend."
"Oh come on, that can't be true! How could you have never had a friend?"
"I... Why would I want a friend?"
"Because! How could you go through life without a friend!?"
"What is a friend?"
"You can't be serious!"
"Who would ever be my friend?"
"No-one, you damn doll!"

Can someone alone truly be Human, if the label Human is applied to identify something against other things?

Can someone alone truly be human, if they have no relations with those around them, if they have but one purpose, and are to be disposed of when unneeded?

Am I a Human?

Can I ever be Human?

A lone tear left her eye, to slowly crawl down her face.
What was this? She was... Crying?
Why should she cry, she knew what she had to do, what she must do?
Why was there a maelstrom inside of her?
Why did she feel as though her mind had been wounded, like her body could have been by a lance, javelin, pikestaff or spear?

Was that Human? Did being Human mean pain?

Sighing, Rei finally accepted that she would have to rest her body and mind fully, and let herself drift off into a deep and undisturbed sleep.