He stopped my progress right in it's tracks with his stupid farm. Even when I brought the bulldozer to his doorstep, he stood right in the way. What a fucking guy.

"I'm telling you that I'm not moving, Sips. This is my farm and I've worked way too hard to have you suddenly come and flatten it." His feet were firmly planted between the farm and I. It was obvious no amount of begging or simple bargaining would move him from his spot.

"Fine. How about this, I'll fucking wait you out then." I sat myself down on the ground after grabbing a pack of beer. My determination to stick around would outweigh his even if it killed me. "You can't stay there forever. You'll have to move eventually."

He laughed at my simple notion of getting drunk to pass the time. "You big dumb dumb." I cracked open my first one and sipped it down before giving him a look of superiority. He just looked at me like I was insane. "Seriously?"

"Seriously. You're not the only one with a dream and I'm not afraid to run yours down to achieve mine." I threw the first can down and grabbed another. I wasn't even buzzed yet.

He looked me over before sighing slowly. I wondered if he was angry but that wasn't the case as he sat down across from me, his face pretty indifferent to my antics. "That's pretty cold, Sipsy. Too bad I don't care enough to back down. Hand me one of those, will you?"

I laughed at his witty reply. I've really got to admit that it was pretty good. Throwing him a cold one, he caught it with ease. The can clicked as he popped it open and took a huge swig. I'm not sure if he was trying to one up me or he was genuinely thirsty. Either way, he was a big bastard.

After what felt like minutes, he breathed out and swooned in happiness. "That's some good stuff. Where did you get it?"

"Duncan's castle."

He almost choked. "What?"

"You heard me." To be fair, he didn't know I took it so it's not a crime, right?

"Oh, Sips." He chuckled for a good bit of time before pulling himself together. "Just because I'm not with you as much, doesn't mean you can go around stealing other people's stuff."

Shrugging, I opened the can I grabbed earlier and popped it open. The whole thing was empty in seconds. Throwing it away, I finally began to feel the effects but ignored them. My hand still reached for another, but my perception tricked me and I completely missed the case.

Sjin's chuckle mocked my pathetic attempt at drowning in beer. "That's probably enough, Sips. I mean, it's pretty sad that you can only drink two before losing yourself. I always knew you were weak."

"Shove off, Sjin." My vision was beginning to go downhill and before I could try again, he took the case from me. My sober notion would have been to let it go but my drunk notion was to lean over and fall right in his lap trying to pull it back. "Come oooooon, giiiive iiiit baaaacck."

He grinned down at me. "Nope. You're done."

"Eeeh..." I sunk in his lap and pretty much gave up in the most pathetic way. He laughed so hard as I sighed in exasperation. "I'm sorry I'm such a butt, Sjin. I really do care about you and your farm..."

He sighed and hummed in happiness. "I know you do. Too bad you have to get trashed to admit it to me, though."

At this point it was too late to take back the truth so I just laid in his lap. "Yeah... Still, are you sure you won't let me have your farmland? Please, I love you."

"No, Sips."

"Fuuuuck..."

A/N

Hi there. This was an idea of some one on Tumblr. Original post here: post/54732579055/name-the-drunk-and-the-farmer-sum mary-sips