"Close
yet Far" Who
said that I wasn't right? Close yet far I can hear the sounds of the city Close yet far Close
yet far
I've lived for years without a
life
Don't have a soul on my side
Still ridiculed despite how
hard that I have tried
Don't take me under your wing
I don't
need a hand, don't need anything
I've got a roof over my head
As
if I'd rather be alone with me instead
Drop
me a line and tell me how the hell you are
And I'll tip my hat to
those who can't believe it's me
Though I never never never ever
wanted this to be
Sunrise
and set are the same to me
A hesitating pulse is good company
And
my reflection offers no apology
But who said that I wasn't
right?
And I've lived for years without a life
Don't have a
soul on my side
Still ridiculed despite how hard that I have
tried
Drop me a line and tell me how the hell
you are
And I'll tip my hat to those who can't believe it's
me
Though I never never never ever wanted this to be
Drop me a line and tell me how the hell you are
And
I'll think of the days when there was something to believe
Though
I never never never ever wanted this to be
These are the lyrics to my myspace profile song, and I really felt that this could represent Reid's relationship with his Brothers if and when Reid became addicted. Reid centered.
So this is my take. WARNING: No real happy ending. Slight Reid/Tyler slash
He sat there. Just...sat. He didn't blink, he didn't move, and if you didn't watch him closely you'd think he wasn't breathing either.
Aged further than his twenty years, Reid Garwin sat in his mansions dining room. A glass of red wine, untouched next to him. His once full, shiny platinum blonde hair was now dry, brittle and a dull white blonde. Crystal blue eyes faded to orbs of steely blue, dull and lifeless.
For probably the third time that day, his ears perked up at the sound of a ringing phone off in another room. This time the ringtone told him it was Caleb. Earlier it had been Pogue, and just twenty minutes ago…Tyler. His brothers wanted to see him, but he couldn't face them. They were all still so young looking, never addicted to the Power, barely ever using…and yet, he himself had dropped out of college, forsaking his future med school application for he had aged so much he no longer looked twenty, more like early thirties.
He sighed, picking up his wine and sipping it. Deciding he needed something stronger, he stood. His knees popped, as did his back, and he winced…hating how old he sounded. He walked to his kitchen dropping the expensive glass in the sink, not caring when it shattered and grabbed a shorter one, filling it with scotch. He moved to stand by his window, pausing to part the curtains and seeing three familiar vehicles, a silver Mustang, a yellow Japanese motorcycle, and one that made his heart pang, a jet black Hummer.
Not two seconds later there was knocking on the door. He sighed; "Come in." he called.
The door opened, and in walked three unnaturally handsome men. One dressed in a black overcoat, a grey polo and blue jeans, Caleb's dark eyes looked around the slightly familiar mansion. Pogue ran a hand through his long hair, removing his leather jacket and fixing his jeans, while Tyler moved around both of them. Pocketing the keys to his Hummer he hung up his olive green jacket and fixed the sleeves of his black sweater. He turned and baby blue eyes met, what were once crystal, and he gasped.
"Reid." He choked out. He knew it would happen, but he never wanted to see it. "You're addicted."
Reid grimace, but nodded. Pogue sighed, while Caleb ran a hand over his face. A ring glinted.
"So you and Sarah got married?" Reid asked, his voice raspy.
"You were invited, but you never showed." Caleb said.
"You think I wanted to see you guys, see the looks on your faces, the ones you have right now?" Reid asked, finally looking away from Tyler's shocked, but still beautiful face. "Pogue pities me; I can see it in his eyes. And Caleb you're disappointed which kills."
"And Tyler?" Caleb asked, looking at their youngest.
"I…" Reid started. He sighed and turned away from them, running a hand over his own face. It was no longer covered in silky smooth un-blemished skin, it was slightly drooped, and rough, and he felt his five o'clock shadow coming up.
Tyler tore his eyes away from Reid, his best friend, and focused on something that wouldn't form a knot in his throat. It didn't work, this was Reid's house, therefore childhood memories of playing hide and seek and breaking things with baseballs came flooding back. His fair eyes watered.
Pogue sighed, "Reid…I,"
"Pity me. Don't deny it, you 'feel bad for me', and feel like saying 'I told you so'. You think I don't know that?" Reid spat. "Don't ridicule me either, I've done it enough to myself."
"Fine, then I'm leaving. If you really don't want to see us anymore, then you don't have to worry about me." Pogue said, walking out the front door.
"Pogue wait!" Caleb said. He followed him looking at Reid one last time.
Reid sighed. "Of course, once again its just you and me."
Tyler swallowed, looking at the ceiling, the exact one they had gotten bologna stuck to when they were nine. A few tears slipped down his face.
"Reid." Tyler said.
Reid turned and tried to smile, but it turned into a grimace.
"Reid, I hate seeing you like this." Tyler said.
"Well its too late for me to do anything about it. Ill never get my years back, even if I stop." Reid said, a lump forming in the back of his throat.
"But Reid, you could've listened to us, to Caleb…to me! And you could've…" Tyler choked, not even bothering to whipe the tears from his face.
"Could've, Ty, could've, should've….but didn't. Its.Too.Late." Reid said.
Tyler just looked at him. "I've been trying to get in touch with you, check in, tell you how I am in case you ever wondered." Tyler said, crossing his arms and regarding Reid with an odd expression. No not odd, Reid has just never seen Tyler angry with him, that's why it looked odd, foreign on his face.
"I just…didn't want you to see me like this." Reid said looking down.
"Why?"
"Because…you're the one I feel bad about the most. Well not about, but, you're the one that makes me feel so bad about becoming addicted. Not Caleb, not Pogue, you." He said.
"I figured." Tyler said.
Reid raised an eyebrow.
"I know why you were such a man whore at Spencer, its because I was your roommate. And you wanted me more than those other girls. I major is psychology, so thinking back I know what you didn't want me to." Tyler said, sitting down. The tears had dried in their track on his face, but his eyes were still so sad. It hurt Reid to look.
"But what hurts me almost as much as seeing you like this, is the fact that you never told me. I swear Reid, if you had told me, nothing would've changed for the worst. We'd be together." He said.
"R-really?" Reid asked, his eyes watering.
"Yea, really…" Tyler said.
Reid smiled genuinely.
"But now we can't be." Tyler continued.
"What?"
"If you had taken the time to call me, you would've known that I met someone." A tear slipped from Reid's eye, just like Tyler had slipped through his fingers.
"This is my fault." Reid said, sitting down on his couch.
"I wish I could tell you it wasn't, but yea it is." Tyler said. Reid caught his reflection in the silver platter on the table before him, and it offered no consolation or apologies.
"So now, you're going to end up like your father, you're line is going to die out, there's only going to be three families left…and that's your fault." Tyler said.
Reid nodded. He fathered himself slightly, wanting to get off this painful topic…and opted for another one.
"What's she like?" Reid asked, but regretted it. Tyler's eyes lit up dramatically and he smiled slightly.
"Well, she's a music and photography double major. She was in my first and second psych classes with me, and ya know we got to talking, then lunch between classes, then dates…and well now, I'm going to purpose to her. She knows about the Power, I ended up showing her last week when I told her I had to come see you. Shes ok with it, thank god. If she wasn't I would probably die and…."
Reid just sat there and listened, nodding when he felt the need to as Tyler rambled on about this wonderful girl. Inside he wished it was reversed, that this girl was sitting in a Starbucks with Tyler while he rambled on about Reid. But he lost his chance, and now has to live with himself. Someone he never wanted to be.