"You bloody maleficar," Anders growled. He approached Hawke, who just stood there, prepared to take any punishment Anders had decided for her. He looked like he was going to hit her, but his eyes softened, wet but still angry. "I trusted you."

"I didn't do it to spite you, you fucking self-centered bastard," she snarled.

"Then why did you do it?!" Anders' voice was starting to reverberate off the cave's gray walls.

"Because I want to fucking die!"

Varric, Isabella, and Anders all looked at Hawke. "Don't look at me like you didn't know. I haven't been watching my own ass, and I've been healing you all before I do myself. That's not just because I'm a selfless leader. I want to fuck up so bad that I don't make it back."

"Hawke..." Anders began.

"Don't." Hawke pushed him away and stalked back to her estate. Alone.

It was days before anyone but Varric saw or heard anything from Hawke. He checked on her every morning and evening, brought her food, made sure she was eating it, et cetera.

"They miss you," he said softly, putting a plate of food in front of her. "Daisy's been asking if she can come see you. She wants to make it better."

"Tell her to come. I don't care."

"Yes you do," Varric said, having to put the fork in her hand before she even noticed the food. "You care. Want to know how I know?"

"How, oh all-knowing one?" Her voice was filled with spite and venom. It didn't hurt, though. Varric knew that she was hurting and she needed to be angry to make herself feel safe.

"Because you got so angry at Blondie. If you didn't care, you would have told him to fuck off and went of your merry way. But, you did care. And I think you still do. That's why you're eating and continuing to survive, even if it isn't much of living," he explained softly, wiping a bit of mashed potato off the corner of her mouth.

"I want to die, Varric," Hawke said, her voice tight and hoarse.

"I know, kid. I know," the dwarf said, handing her a glass of water. "But you can't do that yet – you have bandits to kill and lives to save."

"You're all capable of doing that without me."

"But it'd be a hell of a lot more boring."

"I don't care."

"Yes, you do."

Hawke drank her water and let the glass fall to the floor, thankfully not breaking. "No, I really don't."