May The Exit Be A Beginning

By Hay

Authors Note: I don't own anyone, all characters belong to relevant tv networks and owners.

Just a short one off that presents a scenario that may have started Lorelai and Rory on their path to Stars Hollow and independence.

Enjoy. Cheers, Hay

Part 1/1

The sheets were white, pristine white and as hard as cardboard. She wondered how they got that harsh, starched until they almost carved at the skin of the patients that needed their comfort and security. The irony is that most patients have their families for their support but for Lorelai, all she wanted was to be surrounded by the softness of a thick duvet. Wrapped tight around her body, her aching fingers curled around the edges and tucked firmly under her chin. At least then the material would receive her tears without question; soak them as quickly as they fell. But the hospital sheet draped away harshly from her shoulders and her thick tears formed large wet circles on her pillow. They flowed down her high cheekbones quickly and easily, seeming to fall faster with each explosion of soft laughter that echoed through the ward.

She stared directly at the blue curtain, supposedly giving her privacy in the four bed bay but in reality, did nothing but hide the sight of happy couples and proud families. If only it could filter the sound. Happiness was so loud. Too loud.

And the crying. She could hear the high pitched cry. It seemed close but muffled, like it was coming from inside a cupboard or beneath a bed. Slowly, Lorelai turned her head to the side and to the small baby that lay next to the pale blue wall. Rory was crying, her tiny face screwed up and her mouth wide open. Even her small hands had formed fists and were fighting the invisible air in front of her.

Lorelai slowly pushed herself in to a sitting position. Her whole body hurt and every movement sent small stabs of pain through her, she had never imagined it would hurt this much. Although it all seemed surreal; in some ways she didn't believe that Rory had come out of her. Even as she gave birth it didn't seem real. Like it was happening to someone else and she was watching through a home video recording.

She reached carefully out beyond her knees to pull the small infant bath like bed towards her, the wheels shrieking slightly as the curtain protecting her from the outside world was pulled to expose her. "I thought I could hear this one crying. Must be time for a feed." The nurse was middle aged and fat. There were no words to soften the look of her, just bitter, aging and so overweight that she waddled, seeming to rock side to side rather than walk forward with momentum. And she didn't like Lorelai, for reasons that would become too common over the next few years. Everyone had an opinion about the sixteen year old who had just given birth, nurses and doctors who found it their prerogative to suggest she put Rory up for adoption. Finish her schooling, get a job; make a real future. It was only the evening cleaning lady who smiled at Lorelai and talked to her like an adult and a human being. The only person in the entire maternity ward who looked her eye and told her she could do it. That she could do it.

"So. Are you going to feed her or let her starve? She's not a barbie doll that you can put away when you get bored you know."

Lorelai nodded slowly, fresh tears forming in her already tired eyes. "I never played with Barbies." Lorelai whispered, resisting the urge to push her tongue out in defiance. "My mother preferred porcelain dolls." Lorelai remembered when all her friends in elementary school were getting Barbies, they were just becoming fashionable and the girls would sit at school and compare clothes and accessories for the dolls.

The nurse pouted slightly, shuffling closer to Lorelai and tugging at her shirt. "Come on then. The child's hunger waits for no one."

Lorelai blushed heavily and pulled her shirt back, a quick glance ensuring that her breasts were securely hidden from view. "I spoke to the doctor and he said to bottle feed Rory."

"Bottle feed? What garbage, girl you need to toughen up if you think you're going to raise this kid." She shook her head strongly. "You oughta go home to your Mother."

Gritting her teeth, Lorelai silently cursed under her breath before raising her eyes. "My milk doesn't seem to be coming." She muttered, trying to desperately to remember the brochure that she had taken from the hallway and stashed in her bag. "It's better for Rory to get started on formula now…I already have some." The walk to the hospital pharmacy had been difficult but necessary. She hadn't prepared for going in to labour at all and didn't realise what it would be like after the birth. The maternity sanitary pads were bigger than anything she had ever seen and had only bothered to pick up one pack to put in her hospital bag. The pharmacy had everything she needed though and she had also managed to get a few things for Rory: new born formula, two bottles, a pacifier, disposable diapers and a tiny rattle with butterflies on it. She couldn't wait until Rory was old enough to hold it in her hand, shake it in the air and laugh at the bright colours and soft noise.

After a few seconds of silence the nurse seemed to relent, possibly realising that this wasn't a battle she was going to succeed in. Instead she changed tactics, following Lorelai as she pushed Rory in to the feeding room. "You should be discharged from hospital tomorrow, your mother rang and wanted to know what time to pick you up?"

"I'm not going home with my mother." Lorelai stated clearly and strongly, "Rory isn't going to grow up like I did."

Disgusted, the nurse scoffed, pretending to hold her wobbling stomach as she laughed. "Too much money, princess?"

Spinning around quickly, Lorelai turned to face her. "You know nothing about me." She spat out, feelings the burning in her throat begin to return. "Nothing." She added defiantly.

"You're a Gilmore. Everyone in this town knows a Gilmore." She laughed, "You think you can live here and not be a Gilmore." She laughed again, cruelly almost, leaving Lorelai to wonder what she ever really did wrong. She had taken responsibility for Rory since the beginning, attending all of her specialist appointments and classes. It still didn't make it all seem real and she didn't pretend to know everything, or anything really. She just wanted some help and didn't understand why people weren't going to help her.

Obviously, she would just have to make it on her own. Christopher wasn't allowed to see her or Rory and there was no way she was giving her parents the satisfaction of knowing she needed their help. There was no way she was going home. Not now, not ever.

Stars Hollow. That's where she would go. It was a small town just far away from Hartford that no one would know her name or where she came from. Anonymity would become her greatest ally. She had enough money to keep her going for a while and then she would get a job. Doing anything. Anything that would keep her from going back to them.

No. It was just her and Rory now and as she sat in a recliner giving Rory her bottle, Lorelai whispers her promises.

We won't go back until it's on our terms Rory. We won't need them. I promise you won't grow up like I did. You can laugh as much as you want to and be anyone you want to be. And I'll love you. And I'll tell you I love you. You'll know Rory. I promise you will know.

Let's go beautiful girl. Let's go find our life in Stars Hollow.

The End

AN: All reviews, positive, negative and anything in between is welcome. Cheers.