It was 12 am at Lindbergh, just after recess time had ended. Home Economics was not yet in session. Every classmate sat at their assigned seats, gossiping, throwing paper airplanes around, or just chewing gun. Jimmy Neutron, however, was tightening the hinges on his new invention, the phon-o-ceiver. Normally, he would chat with his best friend Carl before class begins, but Carl was assigned at a more farther seat, next to Sheen's. Without having to deal with any distractions, he can catch up on his work. Too soon, someone tugged the back of his hair, forcing him to drop his tool. That action was done by none other than Cindy Vortex herself.
"I hate having to take a back seat to you. Literally!"
"What's your problem, Vortex?!"
"Like you haven't heard me just now. I'm tired of your big stupid head blocking my front view!"
"Move your head to the side if you happen to have some dispute with mine!"
"I have, for three months! Either put your head down or shave it!"
"Like I'd do either for you."
Cindy gave another tug at Jimmy's tall hair, leading the boy genius into pulling her by the pigtails. Like everyone expected, a heated argument took place between them, followed by some complex dialogue that left the other students lost. The girls and boys started whispering rumors to each other in regards to their relationship. Carl and Sheen just stared at the feud. Libby paid no attention to the drama, for she couldn't notice anything with her CD turned up high. Nick put his magazine down for a moment to peek what's going on, shrugged, then continued reading as if it was an everyday thing to him. Abruptly, everyone's positions then changed, shutting their mouths and sitting up straight. One swallowed their gum. Libby took off her music, then stuffed it into her purse. Jimmy and Cindy's arguing kept on, with the class surrounding them feeling uneasy, until finally silenced with a loudly, beastly voice.
"QUIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!"
The two recognized that battle cry.
"Mrs. Pampers! Oh, hi! Lovely day we're having! Why didn't you tell us you were in the room? I mean, who would have expect?"
"I did, Ms. Vortex. Three minutes ago."
Jimmy and Cindy felt humiliated how they let their grudges get out of hand like that, and in front of a teacher too. Mrs. Pampers headed straight to her desk as usual, and began her lecture.
"Okay, class, for these last three months, we have been studying the aspects of both household and family management. Why do we need to learn this stuff? Well children, all of you are not gonna be small forever."
"Wanna bet?" Muttered Jimmy.
"It's only a matter of time before you're old enough to get a job, move out of your parents' place, get married, and furthermore, having a little bundle of sunshine to call your own!"
"Why would I wanna give up my freedom for something that cries and poops?" Also muttered Libby.
"So, we learned all there is to nursing a baby! Feeding, burping, grooming, bathing, changing, medical health, putting the tot to sleep, childproofing your environment…"
Her list went so on and on. Who knew taking care of an infant took so much work.
"Hey Cindy, how long is she gonna keep on?"
"Probably by the time we have our own kids."
Finally, as she finished…
"…and we even got to witness the miracle of birth happen right in front of our eyes!"
Everyone cringed at the same time. They wanted to forget all about that labor documentary, but no thanks to Mrs. Pampers for bringing it up again.
"Just to make sure you children know so much as you say you do, we're gonna take on a real life experience!"
She pulled out a sack of flour from under her desk, donned with a diaper.
"YES! We're finally gonna do cooking!"
"Uh, no Carl. This will be your child."
"But I haven't even gotten engaged yet. I'm not ready for a family."
"You're practicing it. That's what the flour is for."
"Wouldn't it be easier to practice it on a real baby?"
"Now Carl, do you think it's a good idea to leave a living and breathing baby with a ten year-old tween?"
"That depends, if that tween has ever-"
"Shut up, Carl!"
Carl sat up straight, then took a dose from his inhaler.
"As I was saying, class, this isn't just an ordinary sack of flour, or however it may look to you, but just for a whole day, this will be your newborn baby, and you are to treat it like one too! Feed it, groom it, change it, and put it to sleep! It's worth a grade! Make sure your baby comes back in one piece! We do not make pancakes out of our babies! Oh, and you won't be doing it alone! All of you will be working in pairs of two!"
"Pairs of two?!" Cried the class.
"Yes, pairs of two! Like married couples! I will be picking two random names, and with that, you will be assigned to said person."
"Is this an arranged marriage?" One student spoke under their breath.
The teacher lifted a drum raffle from under her desk, filled with strips of paper with names already written on them. As she operated the crank, the children watched as the bits of paper flew around in the spinning lottery machine. Anyone could have anyone, and they will be stuck together whether they like it or not. Cindy has dreamed about marrying Nick and being the mother to his kids, so she hopes one of those two names will be them. Of all many times Cindy has attempted to get Nick to go out on a date with her, and always left rejected, now's finally the right opportunity. She put her hands together, and prayed for a miracle to happen. Please, me and Nick! Please, me and Nick! Please, me and Nick! Carl did the same, praying for his own miracle. Please, me and Jimmy! Please, me and Jimmy! Please, me and Jimmy! The teacher stopped and reached in for two strips.
"Sheen and Libby!"
The two groaned loudly in disgust. Mrs. Pampers called the new pairing up, staging a fake wedding for them. She held up a textbook, which Sheen and Libby sat their hands on from opposite sides. After a short speech, and some "I do's" spoken from both of them, she handed them their own sack. They are to name their baby, and decide on its gender.
"I guess it won't be so bad, Libby. Look, we brought a new joy into this world." Sheen said, lifting up his sack into the air.
"Is it too late for a divorce?"
Mrs. Pampers cranked the machine again, reached in for some names, then called them out.
"Cindy and Carl!"
"WHAT?!"
As Cindy turned her direction to the allergy boy himself, Carl stared at her like he was in face with a serial killer. He shyly grinned and waved at her. She's just as mean to him as she is to Jimmy, so the last thing Carl would wanna do is get on her bad side. Cindy took her attention off of him, laying her head down and groaning in disappointment.
"Well, on the bright side: I didn't end up with Neutron."
As Carl and Cindy walked forward to Mrs. Pampers' desk, Cindy shoved him on the way there. As before, the wedding took place, there came the "I do's," although Cindy almost backed out, then they were handed their own bundle. Cindy just snatched the flour to herself, wouldn't let Carl hold it. Again, the teacher gave the crank another turn, opened the hatched, then reached in for some more names. Whose the lucky couple this time?
"Jimmy and Nick!"
The whole class gasped, including Cindy. She couldn't get to Nick, but apparently her rival could. Not only were they shocked that they were both boys, but Jimmy and Nick together, they were such an odd combination; The champ and the loser. Nick was surprised, but not as shocked like everyone else. Jimmy was all in jitters from the inside. He was given a chance to work close with the boy he had eyes for since 4th grade. Him and Nick getting married, and raising their own child, he awaited for that moment to arrive, even though it'll only last a day. Only in a couple more years, it might become a reality. Jimmy was heavily sweating as he picked up his weight from off his desk, walking down that isle to his groom, while picturing it being real through his eyes. He tripped doing so, bringing his peers laughing. Nick, ahead of him, just rolled his eyes. The genius dusted himself off and proceeded, then placed his hand on that textbook. He grinned at Nick, but Nick didn't grin back.
"Do you, James Neutron, take this young man to be your accredited partner?"
"I do. (I do! Yes, I do plus infinity!)"
"And do you, Nicholas Dean, also take this young man to be your accredited partner?"
"I guess, I do."
"You may now kiss– I-I mean, congratulations! It's an all-purpose!"
The teacher gave them their sack, and unlike the last two previous pairs, Jimmy and Nick both caught it together. They were starting to look like parents already. Jimmy grinned innocently at Nick once more. Nick seemed a bit touched, but he didn't show it. The moment was then ruined by Cindy and her big mouth.
"I object! Those two aren't qualified for raising a baby together! Both of them are male!"
"Cindy?"
"Yes, Mrs. Pampers?"
"This is Home Economics, not Politician Class."