"Planet of the hats! Well, it's not actually called that, it's actually called Apexhoedchapemu, but that's a little bit of a mouthful, so I prefer to just call it the planet of the hats."
His grand flourishes were, in his opinion, not nearly enough to offer enough prestige for his Very Favorite Planet. Oh, alright, it wasn't his favorite, he supposed he did like Earth quite a bit, but when Amy had told him to take them to his favorite planet, not only was Earth sure to make her complain, she didn't need any more reason to feel smug.
Amy's smugness made him want to be purposefully sulky.
Neither of them were looking particularly impressed right now, though, and the Doctor could only guess it was because of his hand gestures that had not quite lived up to the splendor of the planet before them. "Right, then. I've landed us in the very best place. What's that, you ask?" They hadn't. "It's the shopping section!" He whirled, beaming, and spread his hands, before pulling them back in close to his body; he was not ruining this with elaborate hand gestures, absolutely not.
"River is going to kill us if she finds out we let you take us here." Amy remarked glibly, and the Doctor frowned at her.
"We should've known it'd be a planet full of hats." Rory timed perfectly after her, before he could even get a word in edgewise.
Amy did one of her annoying giggles that she saved up specifically for the moments in which she made fun of him. "I know! Here I was thinking, nine-hundred year old alien, he's probably seen a lot, his favorite planet has got to be something full of ancient tradition and mystery. But no. Forgot we're dealing with a cosmic nine year old. 'Course it's hats." She leaned a little towards him, clearly not the least bit threatened by his disapproving expression. "Is one hundred actually equivalent to one year on Earth? Are you just a really smartlittle kid?"
His lips pursed at them, and he turned away, pushing his jacket back so that his hands could fit over his hips. (It was the best way to think, really, pushing the jacket back obstructed any thoughts flowing in. Or something. He'd think about it another time. Jacket schematics weren't important right now.) The Doctor thought a moment, then he thought another moment, and then he turned back to Amy and Rory, because he knew exactly what he was going to do and they couldn't stop them. "Fine. Stay here at the TARDIS and do your… married things." More hand gestures - no, stop it - and he turned on his heel. "I'm going to go find the biggest hat they sell and I'm going to buy it and I'm going to wear it, because neither of you have a gun with which you can disrespectfully andcompletely unfairly shoot it with." Something occurred to him and he stopped and looked back at the pair, his eyes narrowed, finger pointing. "Don't wander off. I'll be right back. Rory, you're in charge."
He heard Amy's grumble of "why are you always in charge?" behind him before he turned a corner and headed towards a promising display rack. It was full of fur and fluff (though the Doctor knew that there was no real fur on this planet, only synthetic, and that made the hats even more appealing, really) and he immediately spotted the perfect one - shining with silver and covered with more fur than he'd ever imagined possible, he pulled it from the shelf and promptly onto his head.
Well, there was an immediate issue, and that issue was that he couldn't see a single thing. The hat was obviously too big for him, and his first impulse was to flail around a bit and hold on to something, because this incarnation did not have the most steady sense of balance and falling in the middle of his (second) favorite place in the universe seemed like a good way to embarrass himself.
"D'you need some help? Hat's a bit too big, don't you think?"
It was as if his entire center of gravity shifted with those words, because hearing words in the voice that could only belong to the best temp in Chiswick was definitely not how he'd imagined this day to go. Despite his eyes being covered with thick fur, the Doctor closed his eyes tightly and furrowed his entire face, trying to wish this away. Yes, that was it. Just hearing things, that's all, had to be, no way around it, he was going to take off his hat and there was going to be a perfectly alien and not at all human person in front of him and he was going to make a self-righteous comment about how the hat fit just how he wanted it to fit, thank you very much, except now he'd taken off and he couldn't help but flinch back, because that was definitely, definitely Donna Noble.
He immediately launched into action, spinning around and tossing the hat back onto the stand from whence it came, "sorry, very sorry, just remembered somewhere I've got to be, you're right, the hat's silly, don't need to buy a thing, I'll just be on my way".
"Oi!" Her sharp tone stopped him immediately in his frenzied tracks, and he flinched again, half expecting the smack she always delivered with those words. "No need to just run off because I didn't like your hat."
Donna had always had the ability to make him feel like a child who'd just been lectured. He revolved slowly on the spot, swallowing hard as he took her in. Definitely her. Donna, his Donna, except not-really-his Donna, because the Donna in his current timestream was on Earth and blissfully unaware of the pain he'd caused her.
It was impossible to look into her eyes, where irritation was fading and warmth was replacing it, and not remember how terribly blank those eyes had been.
She was approaching him, and he fought the impulse to flee; this was not good, this was very not good, crossing his own timestream was very forbidden, except he hadn't done it on purpose. "Look at you, all skinny like that and trying to get away with wearing that massively huge thing. It looked like a badger had latched itself onto your head." Donna grinned and it was like a blow to the stomach. "What is with all you skinny blokes anyway? I've got a friend who's just like you, all skin and bones - I'll tell you what that it, it's unattractive."
The Doctor stared at her, trying to process the words that would portray everything he wanted to say to her. Leave while you can? Always turn left? But no, those weren't right either. Aside from being Against The Rules, it didn't come near to the things he actually wanted to tell Donna Noble.
What he finally ended up with was not quite anything he'd planned. "I like badgers."
Her eyebrows shot up. "On your head? I swear, people around here are completely mental. I had a chap a few minutes ago try to tell me to buy a fez! A fez of all things!"
He shifted guardedly. "Fezzes are cool."
"Yeah, maybe for Aladdin." Donna shot back. "Anyway, I was thinking this one." She picked up a considerably less fluffy hat from the shelf, one that looked like it belonged on a Russian in the 1880s.
"I don't like it." The Doctor said immediately. Not fluffy enough, not nearly big enough.
"For me, you idiot, not you." She let loose a weary sigh that he could have probably matched perfectly to the many she'd delivered to his pinstriped self and placed it on her head.
She did look quite nice in it.
He thought it was probably best to tell her so in case she thought slapping strangers was still a good idea.
"That's a very cool hat." The Doctor offered, though he still didn't dare to get closer. Both of his hearts were aching more than he could've imagined. Donna, his Donna, perfect Donna, the most important woman in the universe, and he was telling her to buy a hat. A hat that he remembered, now that he really thought about it. But the dates, he'd set these dates totally different, he'd been sure. But there she was, and he remembered now, remembered her rambling about a man in a bowtie who'd been just about as skinny as he was and why was it she had to remind everybody to actually eat something now and then, other than bananas because bananas don't actually count, you know.
"It's nice, isn't it?" Donna replied, admiring her reflection in the mirror. "I think I like it. Not even sure that scrawny git even brings money with him," The affection radiating from her falsely ill words laced his body with pain, "But we'll just wave about that magic paper of his and we'll be all set."
He needed to leave. He couldn't stay here any longer, partially because his younger self would be arriving at any moment and partially because there were some moments when the numbness vanished and there was nothing but so many years of pain.
The Doctor shuffled his feet a little and leaned towards her. "Listen. You… You're an unbelievable person. And I am unbelievably thankful that I, that he, rather, that he, this… scrawny git you're talking about, that he has you in his life. You seem like the person that could make a person's day a little brighter just by being in it."
Watching the smile spread onto her face was the final piece he could take, and watching her eyes immediately look at the ground in that faintly embarrassed way she always seemed to have any time he complimented her told him that she was about to refute him, to deny his words. He was filled with a sudden urgency to not let her argue. "No! Listen to me." The Doctor gently grabbed her arm, intent and aching with the pain. "You are so, so important, more important than you can possibly imagine. Just…" He took a deep breath. "Take care of him. And be happy, Donna Noble. Be happier than you think you deserve because trust me, you really do deserve it."
He released her arm - by the time her voice was calling behind him asking how he knew her name, he was almost to the TARDIS, practically running now. The Doctor burst inside, heading straight for the controls, and didn't stop to lean against them until they were vanishing into the Time Vortex.
Amy's joke about his lack of a hat was filled with traces of worry.
The TARDIS hummed softly in his mind.