So I read this fic about 7th years going camping and their chaperone was good old Severus Snape. Supposedly a Snarry fic, it was terribly written and utterly pathetic. The plot bunnies bothering me to write a halfway decent version with some smut thrown in took me over…so here I am. Enjoy ladies and gentlemen.

ON WITH THE FIC!

Chapter 1

"Bloody brilliant. How on earth could Professor Dubmledore assign SNAPE as our chaperone? He HATES the outdoors."

"Honestly Ron, you don't know that," Hermione responded.

"His pasty white skin and his lack of EVER BEING OUTSIDE tells me differently," Ron responded.

Harry sighed. He had been looking forward to going camping. With Snape as the chaperone? This was going to be terrible. He had hoped it would be the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Rudy. He looked like someone who enjoyed the outdoors, and he was much closer to them in age.

"Why would Snape even agree to that?" Ron asked as they began walking out to the courtyard. This was the meeting place for the seventh years' camping trip.

Others began to arrive. Dean Thomas and Seamus Finnigan walked up, Parvarti and Lavender trailing behind. Hannah Abbot, Ernie MacMillan, and Justin Finch-Fletchey also joined them. Padma Patil and another Ravenclaw, Daniel Ardstrum, walked up, holding hands. Finally, Harry saw Malfoy and Zambini, and Pansy Parkinson heading toward them wearing camping packs on their backs.

"MALFOY?" Ron sighed. "Great."

"Ron, he isn't that bad anymore. Now that he got disowned by his parents and doesn't have to put up a front of being a total arsehole," Harry responded.

"Good point."

The students continued talking for a while, discussing who would be sleeping in who's tent, and how some of them were planning on sneaking out for a midnight rendezvous. They failed to notice when Professor Snape strode up to them, peering over Dean Thomas. He sneered as a look of horror registered on each student's face.

"Now that you've arranged sleeping situations, I will take your suggestions and do the opposite," he said icily. "We will be hiking out to the middle of the Forbidden Forest. I encourage you to keep up with me, as I am the only one who knows where we are going."

"Yes, Professor," the seventh years responded, most of them visibly disappointed.

Harry turned to Ron and Hermione and rolled his eyes. This was going to be a fun trip, indeed.

Their walk was fairly uneventful. They walked mostly in pairs, Harry somehow managed to stand next to the Potions professor. After a failed attempt at conversation, Harry hung his head and walked in silence, listening to the others gossip.

When they arrived in a clearing, Snape stopped and said, "We will camp here." Everyone looked at him, wondering what to do next. "Set up the tent, you imbeciles."

Everyone took their tents out of their packs, then began to set up the tents. Some of them tried to do it Muggle-style, while others chose to just use magic. Hermione did a wonderful job with her tent, and moved on to help Dean and Seamus with theirs.

When everyone had pitched their tents, Snape looked around. "Well, then, let's assign roommates, shall we? Weasley, MacMillian, and Ardstrum, you will share a tent. Zambini, Malfoy, and Finnigan, you will be in that tent. Thomas and Finch-Fletchey, that smaller one over there. Parkinson and Padma, Abbott and Granger, and Parvarti and Brown, you will share those three tents there. Now, you have about a half an hour before we make dinner to explore and unpack some of your things. I ask that you -"

"Um, Professor?"

"Potter, what could possibly be so important that you are interrupting my instructions?" Snape glared at him with such ferocity, Harry was sure Satan himself would have been scared.

"Never mind."

"As I was saying, I ask that you stay within earshot to the campsite. Learn your surroundings before you stupidly go into the dark forest."

Everyone began to walk around, most couples walking together. Ron threaded his fingers through Hermione's, smiled, and walked east by the stream.

"Um-sir?" Harry asked, walking up to Snape.

"What, Potter, could you possibly want? I gave you free time and you are choosing to bother me with your problems?"

"Its just that - you didn't assign me a tent."

Snape looked at him with pursed lips. "Because of the safety measures the Headmaster has put on you, we have decided it would be…best-" he narrowed his eyes unhappily. "-if you stayed in the tent with me."

"You have got to be kidding me."

"No, Potter, I am not - kidding - you. Believe me, I am about as happy about this as you are."

"Please, Professor, just let me stay with -"

"Potter, if there was any other way, I assure you that I would have you sleep in a tree instead of sleeping in the same tent as me."

Harry chewed the inside of his cheek, trying to find a way out of this. His mind drew a blank. Stuck in the same tent as Snape! This was going to be an awful, awful camping trip.

"As you can see, it is getting dark outside. The Headmaster has provided chili for us for dinner. Weasley, Finnigan, and Thomas, start a fire for us. The rest of you, gather more firewood."

As everyone began to walk around, Hermione found Harry sulking on a log. "Is it true that you're staying in the tent with Snape?" she asked tentatively.

"Yeah."

"That's terrible Harry."

"Its such a small tent, too. What if he - he-"

"Finds out you have feelings for him?"

"It sounds SO embarrassing when said out loud. I'm in love with the snarky Potions Master," Harry sighed, then punched the log. "Ow."

"It can't be that bad. And Harry, you're an adult wizard now. Maybe Professor Snape feels the same way," Hermione said encouragingly.

"Right. Like that would ever happen," Harry said pathetically.

"Well, you know, Ron and I always fought. There were times when I hated him."

"Please don't tell me you are comparing your hormone-driven arguments between each other to my crush on the man who endured my father tormenting him in school."

"Um…"

"That's what I thought."

"Harry, just remember that if you go into this weekend with a bad attitude, it will be terrible. Maybe you could take this as an opportunity to get to know him better."

"I suppose…" Harry trailed off.

"You play the angst-addled teenager so well."

"I've had years of practice."

Harry glanced over at Snape. He was wearing Muggle jeans with holes in the knees and a loose-fitting t shirt. It made him look like one of those heavy metal Muggle musicians, with his long dark hair flowing just past his shoulders. His coal black eyes were flashing back and forth between the fire being made and the chili being poured into a small cauldron. Harry stopped to admire Snape's long, hooked nose. Yes, it was big, but Harry thought it made him look distinguished and very smart. He also wanted nothing more than to feel that nose buried in his arse. Harry grinned as Snape turned around and bent over to move some rocks together. That was one beautiful butt. Since the war had ended, Harry noticed that Snape washed his hair more frequently. This meant he now had sleek, shiny hair that was very well combed. Harry originally had concerns that it meant he was seeing someone, but had overheard a conversation between McGonagall and Flitwick that discussed how they doubted Snape had had any action since 1989. As disturbing as it was, it pleased him greatly.

Harry smiled as Snape began yelling at Dean and Seamus, who dropped their firewood on Ron's foot. This crush started a year ago, after they resumed their Occlumency lessons. After he got over himself, he discovered that Snape knew quite a bit, and he could learn a lot from the professor. During several intense moments between them, Harry found himself growing uncomfortably hard and blushing whenever Snape looked at him. He realized fairly quickly after that he had feelings for Snape.

And now he was stuck in a small tent with the man.

"You're right, Hermione. I should be excited that I get to spoon a man 20 years my senior who I have an extremely unhealthy crush on."

"That's the spirit, Harry. That's the spirit."

End of Chapter 1