Large dirty farm trucks rolled by on the steady road in front, wind blowing past the tyres, stirring up the dirt on the quiet streets, flying past the red hearted wind chime that hung the local restaurant window where large painted letter read 'Happy Valentine's Day Specials'. A man in a well-worn trench coat stared on at them a moment, 'There was something about his holiday' he swivelled about, following the pair of flitting wings that swept past his left ear. Small child like figures hung in the air, giggling to themselves. Their wings hissed behind them, whispering to one another like school girls, it was the season for them after all. Love was quite literally, in the air. They continued about seemingly unaware of the growing aggravation in the sigh that past the Angels lips. 'Cherubs go crazy and the humans-'
The door of the restaurant swung open with furiousity, pulling him from thought.
"I hate this holiday! It's all the sentimental hearts and crap!" One man shouted as he strode out, closely followed by another who was slightly taller.
"Dean! Wait up!" Wrenching his jacket over his broad shoulders he strode over the black '67 Chevy Impala which was parked in front. "It's not that bad Dean, you just struck out on the waitress" he chuckled a little in his smirk as his brother shot a hard glance at him, rubbing his cheek firmly.
"Yeah I know, but did she really have to hit me?"
'These two boys, had been in my charge for a year now, and not much had changed; for them at least.' He nodded at them, completely aware that he was not visible to either of them.
"Castiel? Castiel? Are you alright?" He turned back to face one the cherubs that had strayed from the giggling group. His small childish face was almost pure white, showered with rich brown curls with matching brown eyes with a hit of sparkling gold.
He stared at him for a moment unnerved before turning and walking away.
"Don't ask stupid questions"
The Impala took off, allowing the wind to ride the sleek doors as it zoomed past onto the open highway. The two brothers curled up on the front seat mesmerised by the view in front of him.
"All I really need to survive this life is you," Dean continued, "Well, you with a soul, you, and Bobby. That's it." Dean muttered in a huff to Sam. Neither had noticed the small child figure that sat between them, not that they were able to see him of course.
"Really Dean? That's it." The child looked up at Dean, who face was tinged with anger, pain and confusion. There was defiantly more to what he was saying.
"Who else is there?" he hissed at his brother. The cherub shuffled over a bit and studied a bit more carefully, this man's heart had been broken more times than he could see; it was like a shattered mirror, just shards of what used to be. It was almost too painful to look at, especially for a cherub cupid, all was lost except one piece, and just one held some hope.
"Time to be a bit more honest Dean" the cherub climbed up on him and sat in his lap, Deans hands gripping the Impala's wheel impatiently. Carefully, the small face found solace on his cheek, which was rough with bruises and dried blood from the last job.
"Cass, maybe?" Sam whispered, watching Dean shrug his shoulders awkwardly, almost like a shiver. He decided not to say anything as the conversation fell into silence.
"Everything, I rebelled I even disobeyed! I gave everything for you!" he hissed angrily, throwing them both against the wall, one hit after another, the words ringing like an echo before fading to black. "I am here if you need me Dean" this time he was smiling, a firm hand on his shoulder, an angels best attempt at comfort.
"You and I share a more profound bond" Yeah maybe they did, he pull him from the pit. Pulled him perdition or whatever, he owed him, he knew that, "I come every time that you call." Each moment, each memory faded to black as his vision focused to the darkness in another cheap motel they had found on the highway.
"And I never really thanked him for any of it… Did I?" Dean mulled haphazardly.
"Dean?" A gruff voice came from the other side of the bed he has collapsed on. He turned over to be met with a pair of blue eyes and an index and middle finger to the forehead.
"Cass?"
Dean blinked as the fingers lightly recoiled away from his head. He took a second to recognise the parking lot he had seen a few blocks away from the motel. A single street light flickered over the both of them, illuminating the fact that they were all alone.
"What's this all about Cass?" Castiel stared at him, slightly squinting at his question, or the rough touch of arrogance in his voice.
"You called me Dean, so you tell me" Dean's eyes widened a touch, before shaking it off, no he hadn't called him, well not directly at least. But he had been thinking about him. 'So they can hear thoughts? That wouldn't be so far-fetched, but creepy all the same.' Awkwardly he shuffled from one foot to the other, silently praying that he didn't have an ear to his head.
"Very well, I've come to tell you I have to leave" Cass continued, understanding he was not going to get an answer from Dean, who had come to succumbing a stare at the floor beneath him. His sentence had broken the contest but not the look of confusion.
"What? You're leaving? What for?" he shoved his hands in his pockets as he tried to resound the frustration that was growing with the shortening fuse of his temper. "How long exactly?"
"For as long as I need. To recover, I'm becoming too close, too human-" Cass dropped his eyes, it was the truth and there was no better way to put it
"Too human?" Dean spat the words before striding over to him, closing the space. His scowl grew darker and more fearsome with the retreating light.
"I don't expect you to understand, Dean" Cass shrugged a little but he did not move from his spot, Dean was only inches away at this point and seething with anger.
"No you're right, I don't understand. We need you down here Cass, I need you. And you're worried you're becoming too human, what are we like a disease to you angels?" Cass didn't understand this particular reaction, simply because he figured this news would relieve his friend. After all the issues with heaven and hell, Cass rationalised Dean had a strong distain towards angels, including himself. His arrogance and sarcasm welled in his dislike for his kind and despite this he asked for help, on multiple occasions only because he needed it, not because he wanted it.
"Of course not, I didn't mean-"
"Is this because I didn't thank you, every time you saved our asses? Because if that's what it is, I'll say it" Dean swung his hands in the air as he walked a circle about him almost shouting. He was definitely angry, not sarcastic like he usually was in moments like this. Cass turned away from him, throwing his own hands into his trench coat pockets.
"That would have been nice but it's got nothing to do with that. My emotions, they're becoming stronger. And as far as I am concerned, I cannot control them." He words felt like ice on his tongue, putting it simply he had failed. He was not angel anymore, nor was he human either.
"What are we talking about here Cass, hunger, Nausea?" Dean smirked, there was the sarcasm Cass was used to and was progressively getting exasperated with.
"No Dean. Like my increasingly strong attachment to you. It's a hindrance, especially now." He had turned hissing the words and they had come out rough. Rough enough to cause them both to stop for a few seconds. Cass turned back to him and faced him directly; obviously Dean didn't comprehend just how complicated things had really become. It was time to be honest.
"I love you Dean." He said, calmly. It was strange how calm it had come out, so easy even. He watched as Dean's eyes widened just a hint, but he couldn't decide if his expression was anger or sadness. Despite this he was compelled to continue, "More than my brothers, even more than I love God," it had come out easy at first but the words were coming like lead now, he decided this is what regrets felt like, "Even more them… So now you understand, I can't stay. I'm sorry Dean."
Dean blinked for a second as he mentally digested everything, the pain on Cass's face and the words that were fighting freedom from his mouth. With that, his shape vanished into the night.
"Cass? Cass!" Dean slowly processed as he shouted, "Dammit, Freaking Angels! Cass!" he had been caught off guard, again. He was more annoyed at himself for not saying anything, like a brainless ape he was caught wide-open.
"You call that a confession? High-tail your feathery ass back down here!" the wind breezed past him, carrying his cries with them as they echoed in the empty parking lot. "Gah! You bastard! Yanking me around every time, every single freaking time!" he stood still as he allowed a moment to pull himself together. He remembered when Cass had toed in on his life, how much he loathed him at times. But he was never wrong, and he had always been there when he needed him most. Battered, bruised, even sometimes bloody for his sake, all because Dean had called him on, and not once did he ever complain. He was like family, a brother almost, possibly more. Could it be more? "You really going to make me say it aren't you? There's no going back after this you know that?" his questions were met with silence, always with that damned silence.
"Fine, dammit Castiel! Cass I love you. You win!" He whispered. Of course he had known he did, despite whatever was taken, he could always count on Cass, always. He chuckled to himself; it was a touch of irony, being screwed over, losing to an angel, again. "Yeah, that's right, you heard me you sonofa-"
"It's hard to believe you, or even sound sincere when you're yelling like that" Dean turned around so fast it made him a touch dizzy. Cass was there, almost at a slump, relaxed, vulnerable; he raised his head enough for Dean to see the one tear that had escaped him.
"Dammit Cass" Dean sighed, a touch relived. Without thought, with no thinking whatsoever almost at a run he went over and threw his arms around him, gripping tight. "Everything we have been through, everything after all of you can't think you are nothing to me. I need you here, with me you understand? So don't you dare bail, just don't even-" he gripped tighter, if that was even possible. Slowly and with hands shaking, Cass gripped at Dean's jacket.
"Dean?" Cass could hear Jimmy's heart, it was loud and annoying. It couldn't be stopped much to his embarrassment. "I thought becoming human, understanding them rather than guiding them, even loving them was a hindrance. But perhaps, maybe, it is also the solution?"
"Yeah, maybe" Dean smirked. As he slowly released him from his hold, but only enough so their foreheads touched. The cold air swirled between them both. No more thinking, no more talking. Dean couldn't help it, his heartbeat was louder than their rapid breathing, and he couldn't help brushing their lips together, softly. He briefly wondered if Cass had been kissed before, remembering he in fact had, he moved in again. Determined to make this one count more than his first.
Off in the distance Castiel could hear some children's laughter, but it was hushed in the wind of the breeze, it was stupid to think of it at this moment but it felt like anything was possible. He gently pulled away, but placed his hands on Dean's which were cupped around his cold cheeks.
"Dean? Have you seen any small children, with wings hanging around you?" he whispered once he could regain breath.
"Children? What are you talking about?" Dean whispered as his eyebrows furrowed together. Well whether or not he has been touched by a cupid's arrow, it only amplifies affections that were already present, Castiel smiled.
"It is of no import" and with that he resumed the kiss he has so rudely interrupted.