This is going to be a series of one shots about the Beacon staff and what they do out of the classroom. I don't own RWBY.
"I tell you my dear Bart, the students these days don't care for the classic, " Peter Port complained to the younger man sitting next to him at the table in the teachers lounge. The two of them were resting after a long day of teaching students how to kill Grimm and not die in the process. A few other staff members were scattered about the rather large room, eating snacks going over papers or just playing Remnant the Game.
"Yes well you have to admit that time you killed that boarbutusk with a lightbulb is a bit farfetched, " Bartholomew Oobleck responded though he couldn't help the small grin that spread across his face. He wondered if the student body would treat Peter more seriously if they knew that all of the old man's crazy stories were true.
"You were there, " Peter exclaimed.
"Yes, and I'm still trying to figure out how you did it twelve years later, " Oobleck deadpaned.
"What's their to figure out?! All you have to do is shove the lightbulb up its..."
"He talking about that boarbutusk lightbulb thing again, " asked Ozpin as he sat down next to Peter with a mug of something and an apple. He had that knowing smirk on his face that tended to piss the staff off.
"At least he's not telling the one about the Ursa and the rubber band. I don't even have that and it still makes my stomach churn," Julia Peech said as she sat next to Oobleck. The two other men at the table winced at that, while Port grinned unapologetically.
"Yes that is one story none of the students will ever hear," Ozpin affirmed giving Port a pointed look.
"The damn thing bit me," Port huffed.
"Yes, but did you have to do that in front of an entire class of first years, " asked Ozpin.
"We still get therapy bills from those kids, " Peech added.
"I take it that your talking about the rubber band incident, " Glynda Goodwitch said as she sat next to Ozpin with a stake of papers to grade.
"You exaggerate Julia, the students were not that traumatized, " Port tried to defend. Without skipping a beat Goodwitch pulled out her scroll and brought up a graft for everyone to see.
"Peter, your exploits cost the school twenty percent of the budget! That's not counting all the crazy things you get up to with team CFVY, " she said in a clearly annoyed tone.
Eventhatgreat and illustrious Peter Port couldn't argue with that.
"I think I'll go into the Emraild Forest. There's another fully grown Deathstalker causing trouble out there, " he grumbled and left in a huff.
A few hours later, team RWBY was walking along Beacon Cliff taking in the peace and quiet. They all secretly hoped that they wouldn't accidentally stumble upon Cardin and Velvet again; the two unlikely couple had been in the middle of a wild romp against a tree when they came upon them. Yang had to have a long ackward talk with Ruby after that, mentally strangling her dad for not doing it before they left for Beacon.
As they kept on walking they heard a strange high pitched whistle. The four girls paused and glanced around curiously for the source of the strange noise. Unable to find the source they collectively looked up. There eyes nearly bugged out of their heads at what they were seeing.
"What the f..." Yang started to say, when a rather large object impacted on the ground in front of them with a loud THUMP.
The object turned out to be a fully grown Deathstalker, and sitting on top of it was a satisfied looking Professor Port. He climbed off of the once proud Grimm and started to walk back towards Beacon with a jaunty step.
"Ah, good afternoon girls. Enjoy your stroll, but remember stay vigilant," Port called as he walked passed. He started to whistle a nameless tune as he continued walking towards the academy. The girls just stood there slack jawed for a moment, trying to process what they just saw.
"Did Professor Port just fall out of the sky riding a Deathstalker, " Blake finally asked the question that they were all thinking.
END
Sorry for being so late and so short. This was going to be a one shot about Port and Oobleck but I decided to change it into a series of one shots about the Beacon staff. I'll introduce a few OC characters in these but it will focus on the existing staff. Expect a update about once a week for this. By the way, it's going to be a running gag with Port in all my stories. I'll give you the barebones of his stories and let you fill in the blanks. As always review please.