Harry and Draco, A Love Story
Author's note: This story was collectively written by a team of aspiring writers from . We love Harry Potter and Mudkips. With no further adieu, here it is:
Harry walked into his bedroom only to see the last person he expected waiting for him. Draco Malfoy. The beautiful but pale wizard didn't seem to notice him.
"What you here for Malfoy? Prepare battle!"
Malfoy spun around and dropped his robe. His cock was massive and pulsing. Harry dropped his robe. His cock was erect. The two fenced with their dicks. Harry thrust, Malfoy parried, then leapt into the air. He pounced on Harry and thrust his dick into harry's eye, his penis shattering the lens of Harry's glasses and embedding shards of glass into Malfoy's penis. Harry struggled to throw malfoy off, in vain, since Malfoy had been lifting weights for six months in anticipation of this battle. Malfoy screamed a terrible animal roar and thrust his penis deep into Harry's eye. Malfoy skull fucked Harry and his massive penis penetrated all the way into Harry's brain, raping his mind. Harry shuddered, then died. The end.
They proceed to eat and play black ops for several hours when they realize that game is shit and just play Jenga. Naked. Harry has Jenga pieces shoved up his tight ass. We wasn't sure if this is how the game was supposed to go but Draco assured him it was. Harry is shoots the pieces out of his ass into Draco's mouth. Draco blew a load as he tasted feces on his tongue.
Just then the ghost of Dumbledore walked in the room. He gasped at the sight of Harry's dead body, then grew hard as Draco pulled his dick out of Harry's head. Dumbledore got on his knees and licked Harry's brains off of Draco's cock while he jerked himself off.
Hermione shows up with a plate of cinnamon buns and the three proceed to prepare to enjoy them on the bed when they realize that nobody brought frosting... when suddenly Draco has an idea!
Draco begins furiously milking Hermione's double-A titties
GTFO BITCH, AND LEAVE US YOUR CINNAMON OFFERINGS Draco yelled at hermione
Draco was fapping furiously. His boner was like really big
Draco moaned and blew his load. It flew out the back of Dumbledore's spectral head and hit Hermonie directly in the mouth as she opened the door to Harry's room. "Harry I-mwarglemumph!" she said, choking on the load. Draco sauntered over and ripped the blouse from her body. He threw her on Harry's corpse and started tit fucking her. When Hermonie realized what was happening, she became aroused. Rigor morits had set in on Harry's body. Hermonie lifted her skirt and shoved Harry's forearm into her pussy.
"HURR DURP MY NAME IS RON WEASLEY!" Ron shouted in the midst of the jenga match
Ron uses his retard strength to put a hole in the wall. Harry's dead body suddenly reanimated and started to jerk off Ron.
It was then Draco realized, the secret worm he had kept hidden in his ass for ages were coming out. The worm began to spin around because Harry ask the worm to dance with Parseltongue Then it turns out the worm realy were just Hagrid undercover
Hagrid yelled "Shoop da Whoop!" and a big yellow lazer came out of his huge mouth and then Ron was pregnant.
Suddenly a skeleton popped out of the closet Draco drops his pants to the floor, turns around and poops out a baby.
Luna comes to play and then Luna rips off her shirt to reveal she has shit dick nipples. Luna then kidnapped Lucius, Draco's father, and violently raped him up the ass. Blood flew everywhere. Ron comes in and begins to poop straight into Hermione's open mouth while Luna fists herself with a fistful of Harry's brains. She proceeded to ram his arm past the cervix, piercing her intestines, slipping her arm in as well and manipulating his fingers to rip out the child sired to her by Hagrid five months earlier.
A dementor flies out from under the bed and begins to skullfuck Hagrid. Who was phone?Suddenly Uncle Vernon bursts through the door body slams on Draco. Draco immediately tries to suck Vernon's massive cock.
Vernon then starts to strangle Draco on his cock until Draco chokes and dies next to Harry And then Gandalf rushes in...no wait... Dumbledore. Dumbledore, Voldemort and Snape triple penetrate Vernon from behind for being a muggle.
Harry's ghost materialized. When he saw what was happening, he nodded his approval and sat on the couch, his ghost cock in his hand. Malfoy tired of Hermonie's tits and crammed his cock in her mouth. He pinned her head to the ground and suffocated her with his cock. She turned blue and struggled to push him off, but he pushed back with all his weight
Hermione shoves her wand up her ass and yells out a magic spell to make Harry and Draco's dead bodies fuck eachother.
And everybody walks an dinosaur. The end. Of THIS chapter!
Author's note: Last chapter I tried to explain that this team of writers is from ebaumsworld, but the dot com must've made it filtered. Anyway, that's where this talent is from so please enjoy.
Chapter Two
And then Beatrix Kiddo rushes in wielding her katana and fins herself confused but compelled to suck Harry's ghostly cock
Neville comes in and jerks off shamefully
Olympe Maxime inserts one Professor Flitwicks legs in her gigantic pussy and the other leg in her anus. Meanwhile Professor Sprout is being raped by a tentacle plant. Hagrid is not pleased at seeing his dear Olympe fornicate with tiny Flitwick, so he forces his huge cock down Madame Maxime's throat. However, Olympe bites down hard, so Hagrid fucks Buckbeak instead. While Hagrid thrusts violently, Buckbeak eats the remains of Harry.
Suddenly... Gandalf! *he begins raping randomly* When he rapes enough, he screams into his transmitter "BEAM ME UP, SCOTTY!" and bends over to shit on the floor... Gandalf plugs Hermione's ass and yells "YOU SHALL NOT PASSSSS!" Dumbledore and Gandalf begin to 69 and nobody can tell them apart so Luna awkwardly fists Gandalf's ass before realizing he isn't Dumbledore. She apologizes and sits on the couch ashamed.
Malfoy pulled his cock out of Hermone's mouth. She gasped and regained her breath. "Errr," Malfoy muttered, "Not big enough." He grabbed her jaw with both hands and forced it open, dislocating it. Hermonie screamed, but was quickly silenced as Malfoy shoved both his swollen dick AND balls into Hermonie's mouth. He thrust hard, and began choking her again. Harry jerked himself to a climax. He blew his load on the floor, where it quickly vanished. Malfoy blew his load straight into her lungs and Hermonie began seizing.
Malfoy pulled a 12 inch long hunting knife from behind the couch and sat on top of Hermonie's shaking body. He stabbed her in the neck and started sawing through the sinews and bone of her throat. He flexed, and ripped her head from her neck, torrents of blood splashing all over the walls and floor. He smiled and shoved his cock in her mouth. He then walked around the room with her head sitting on his erect cock, before he sat on the couch to rest.
Buckbeak loves Hermione's head, so he eats very quickly and accidentally bites off Draco's dick in the process. Draco screams, shaking back and forth as blood spews from the remains of his penis. It has been bit almost entirely off. A small stump, less than a centimeter in length, is all that remains. Malfoy pulled out and wiped the blood from his dick with a tissue. The blood flowing from the ruins of Malfoy's penis slows, then finally stops. The drip drip of the last two drops falling into his pants is all that can be heard in the room.
Luna wrestles Nagini and uses her as a giant living dildo. But Nagini gets away, so Luna decides to join Prof Sprout. Then Hermione turned into a bear.
Dumbledore holds Draco in his lap and comforts him. Slowly he slips his arms around his neck. As Malfoy's sobs finally begin to subside, Dumbledore softly clamps down on his carotid artery. Malfoy woke up an hour later. "Huh, maybe i should clean this mess up" he said to himself, but as he looked around the blood and semen drenched room, he decided to leave it for the illegal immigrant Paki janitor. He really hated that muzzy.
Draco walked through the hall, the crowd of students staring. He noticed Ginny Weasley gawking. "Here bitch" he said, throwing Hermonie's severed head at her. Normally, he would have ripped little Ginny in two with his pole-he loved redheads-but he was still tired and needed some fucking fuel, so he sauntered off to the galley. He would be back went down to the great hall for breakfast and saw Harry sitting by the table. He helped himself to a huge serving of Harry's massive cock. revitalized by the electrolytes of wizard semen, he headed back upstairs.
The door opens, and Malfoy walks in! He had a Horcrux too! Everyone else who died in the story is right behind him. Cansuela arrives and requests more Lemon Pledge. Thankfully, Harry's ghost has tracked down the remaining Horcruxes. There will be no more reincarnations. Then we all listened to My Chemical Romance and cut our selves but it dodnt hert cuz we're vampires also I'm wicked goffic and darkly cool.
Ron walks over to Ginny, who is still holding Hermione's head in her arms. Her face shows a look of blank terror. He picks her up and carries her to his body. Grabbing her by the neck, he bends her over his dead body's penis and forces it deep down her throat.
Leaving the tower, he came across the orgy going on in the hall. Pushing Ron out of the way, he took Severus's greasy cock up his tight, virgin butt. He drowned ron on his cum then sucked his cock, stiff with rigor mortis. Draco came upstairs to find ginny watching Ron shoving his cock down Hermione's cold dead throat. aroused by this, he grabbed Ginny by the back of the head and thrust his dick in her mouth. Snape appeared and joined in, pounding Malfoy's ass and fingering ron's butthole at the same time
Neville Longbottom sat alone up in the darkest corner of Gryffindor Tower, fapping to his favorite picture of Severus Snape.
Professor Trelawney watched everything through her crystal balls. Crystal balls? Exactly. Professor Trelawney is a shemale with crystal balls. Umbridge gazes into the crystal balls. They seem to be filled with a milky white... smoke? Then Umbridge came in. She spotted Trelawney's crystal balls and felt her own massive cock stir to life. Upon noticing Umbridge, Trelawney suggested they join the others. Umbridge agreed and they made their way to the hall, jerking eachother off as they went.
A long cat of unimaginable proportions transforms into a snake and slithers up the professor's ass. And Voldemort walks in, wondering how everyone forgot about him. As Voldemort appears he commands the snake to transform back to its true form... Professor Mcgonagall.
As Neville finally sucks his first dick, he begins to cry. Neville cried over 9000 tears of joy and happiness at having his deepest fantasies fulfilled. Severus then licked his own cock grease off of Neville's smooth, round butt cheeks. Draco abandoned Ginny and joined in on the threesome, shoving himself inside of Severus.
Luna and Sprout finally got tired of being raped by the devil's snare, so they fended it off with Amber Lamps. Before giving up, the plant said: "I AM A MOTHERFUCKER". Luna really loves shiny stuff so she visited Trelawney in her tower and sucked her balls. Trelawney had a huge orgasm and at the same time a vision: Hogwarts was going to be overrun by Mudkips. It was a lie though. The mudkips were actually newfags, and there was not a single one who did not hate mudkips with a passion. When the mudkips arrived they began to suck everyone's dick, until they all choked on magical semen and died. Hogwarts had overcome the invasion. Then the mudkips reaminated and turned into evil cats. hogwarts could do nothing about the cat invasion because of rule zero, so they had to pleasure the cats or face a permab&. And then a skeleton popped out of the closet.
In the gallery, Malfoy munched on a sandwich. He knew he wasn't going anywhere for a while, so he also ate a snickers bar. Snickers, taste the rainbow. An hour later, Malfoy exited the galley. Ginny was waiting for him at the door. "Goddamn Malfoy, when did you get so RIPPED?" Malfoy looked at his muscles. It was true, he was RIPPED. He had been lifting weights for months. "You know Malfoy, I love muscles." Ginny rubbed her fingers along his chest. Malfoy's cock hardened and Ginny moved in closer. Malfoy lifted her and set her down on his cock. She stiffened a scream as it split her asshole from its size. "Too big" she whimpered. "NONSENSE!" Malfoy yelled, "We just need to stretch you out!" He threw Ginny on a table and plowed her ass with the intensity of a jack hammer. Ginny screamed and screamed. "Women should be seen and not heard" Malfoy said, cramming a chicken leg into her mouth. Ginny choked on the food. Malfoy pulled out of her ass, and rammed his cock into her pussy. "FUCK!" he said, "How is you pussy tighter than your ass? Wait, you've never had sex before have you? Well I'll make sure you enjoy THIS!"
Bloody semen poured from Ginny's asshole as Malfoy pumping the shit out of her. Eventually they fell through the fake stair and Ginny broke her neck. Malfoy sat back to consider his next move. Malfoy decided it would be best to leave the body there a few days to age. He covered with with his cloak and left, looking around to make sure nobody noticed. He somehow missed Trelawney's magnified eyes, staring at him from a dark corner.
Hermione pulled down her pants, a massive throbbing boner appeared to Ron. Ron cried like a pussy as Hermione shoved it in his urethra, splicing the penis in two.
Just then Neville's pet frog, Foul Bachelor Frog, appeared. He proceeded to commend Snape on the level of grease in his hair. Snape then returned the complement commenting on how he enjoyed the frog's battle rap LP. The Foul Bachelor Frog asked Snape if he was into bestiality, hopping closer to the greasy bastard with a suggestive 'RIbbit'
Then Luna's pet, foul bachelorette frog, came into the room. she locked eyes with foul bachlor frog and they instantly knew they could never find a sexual partner besides each other. they started fucking until Harry came in, grabbed foul bachelor frog and stuck him up his butt.
But foul bachelor frog escaped by barrel rolling out of Harry's asshole, destroying hogwarts castle forever... IDK maybe just until next chapter.
Hogwarts is awwwrite now! Suddenly, without warning, Kreacher burst through the door and leapt at Harry, burying his 1/4 inch penis in Harry's nose. Bill kicked Malfoy away, licked Ginny clean from the previous outage, then made sweet love to her. Meanwhile Kreacher masticated on a stick of chewing gum. While fingering his bumhole. Kreacher then masturbated to a painting of his dead master.
The random NIGGER kid showed up. "Mudkips! Fucking Mudkips everywhere!" he screamed. Malfoy upon hearing the nigger's screans commenced to magic up some chicken to shut the fucking kid up.
Fred and George decided it was time for some twincest, and also wanted Ron to join them so that he could film it and they could sell it for moniez.
Malfoy screamed a primal yell and flexed his arms. He thrust deep and at the same time, pulled Ginny's legs apart. Malfoy ripped Ginny in half. Ginny split all the way up from her pussy to her rib cage. Blood flew everywhere. "OH shit," Malfoy said. "I guess you WON'T be enjoying this. Oh well, I still am." Malfoy shoved his cock into her rib cage and started fucking her heart and lungs. The pounding of her heart stimulated Malfoy to climax and he blew his load all over her lungs. Somehow, Ginny was still alive and conscious, but when malfoy's dick started poking her heart muscle, she went into cardiac arrest. Malfoy fell back, suddenly exhausted. "CHRIST! You are the best I've ever had." He told her, before noticing that she was dead. "I mean, you were the best I've ever had."
Foul bachelor frog hopped over to Ginny's body and wedged himself under her liver, hoping to escape the smelly death trap of Harry's butt. Longcat twisted his body around Hogwarts, becoming a shield to protect the school from rampant mudkips and newfags.
Upon realizing the state of emergency Hogwarts was in, Dumbledore took out his wand and sent out a signal. He was calling the only man who could save them all, the chosen one- Chuck Norris. Milhouse showed up instead, but was promptly kicked out of Hogwarts because he's not a meme.
Left to defend himself from hordes of Mudkipz and NewFags Milhouse stood no chance. Because he was not a meme he was raped repeatedly by the pokemanz while newfags fapped to it all. The liked watching Pikachus rape. Outside, Millhouse was confronted by Chuck Norris, who had arrived late and out of gum. Mr. Norris looked very grumpy. Chuck Norris then became to have sex with Mrs. Norris, Filch's cat, because a cat is fine too.
Before Chuck Norris could even open his mouth, however, a challenger appears! Duke Nukem rides up on the Hogwarts Express. As he steps off, it blows up in a ball of fire behind him. His silhouette takes out a cigar and places it in its mouth. He takes the cigar out of his mouth, and lights it from the ball of flame behind him. THEN he puts it in his mouth.
because Harry Potter hadn't been mentiond for a while, Harry and Draco come outside and double team Chuck Norris; Harry putting his cock in his throat, Malfoy in Norris's butt.
Longcat sensed the desperation in the atmosphere and called to it's army of LOLCATS to wage war on the mudkips.
For a fleeting moment, Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way showed up, but then left, because everyone was a poser and a prep
Meanwhile Umbridge and Trelawny were tangled up in what could only be described as a fuck-ball. With Umbridge's cock embedded deep within Trelawney's anus, she thrusted hard enought to make Trelawney's crystal balls shatter against the floor.
Professor Lupin came in walking his dinosaur, then Sirius tackled Lupin and started fisting him. "WHAT THE FUCK?" screamed Lupin, Sirius took his fist out and shoved his cock into Lupins mouth. "TAKE IT FAGGOT!" yelled Sirius, as he shat on Lupins chest.
Dobby walks in and says "oh no masters" and shoots himself, splattering brains all over Lupin. Lupins erect 2-inch penis came as he started rubbing his chest with shit, blood and brains.
Then all at once, everybody started having uncontrolled explosive diarrhea, and soon everything was covered in shit. there was shit in people's mouths and eyes so they began licking the shit off each other
Suddenly, the bear grabs everyone in the room, and furiously starts cleaning them with it's rough tongue. It keeps growling and screaming from the wretched smell of their filthy smelly sex-smelling bodies. Tears are running down BEARMIONE's eyes as she rims everyone of them, especially Frodo. Then a new character Suzie walks in but then I am a dog, said Draco.
The sorting hat appeared and began to get hat fucked by harry's corpse. Harry climaxed as the hat screamed "Gryffindor!" The hat was soaked with Harry's seed, and since there were no washing machines at Hogwarts it would be used as-is for the next sorting ceremony.
The Whomping Willow, feeling left out, uprooted itself and snuck up behind Hagrid. It hoped Hagrid's anal cavity was large enough for it's trunk-cock and shoved it's way inside. It was, and alas, countless splinters were left protruding from Hagrid's anus, as well as the sappy climax. Hagrid then smoked cigarettes and drugs. Hagrid moved to the US, where he would be arrested for drug dealing and would do 15 years in prison and would become known as 'Big Mike'. Wormtail seized the opportunity, and leapt form the shadows as Scabbers. He scampered up Hagrid gaping anus, before transforming back into his human form, and tearing Hagrid apart form the inside. And just like that, Big Mike was no more. Actually Hagrid was so high that he could not feel Wormtail until he farted, effectively shitting the fat bastard out. Actually he did die. And just like that, Big Mike was no more. Nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger. A funeral was held, but only nobody attended. Not. Even. HAGRID.
And thus a rousing game of Quidditch commenced, and broom sticks were shoved up each and every one of their assholes. They then smeared the shit-coated broomsticks across each others' chests.
That douchey golden ball found itself inside Harry's butthole, fluttering all the while, looking for escape from the cavernous anus that for some reason smelled delightfully like cherries.
Meanwhile in the dungeons, Crabbe and Goyle were getting it on with a magic vacuumcleaner. Goyle sucked so hard on Crabbe's cock that it came off. Crabbe screamed and tried to rip the machine out of Goyle's hand but Goyle just shoved it up his ass and flicked the "blow" button. Then a big black cat began to claw at his ass. The cat later died of what the doctors believed to be "Crabbes" Goyle whispered in his ear "en el cuarto de bano" and said it was i love you in spanish. They procceded to have a romantic meal in a remote and romantic place in New Zealand. And all the time whilst enjoying their meal he fondled Crabbe's huevos.
The sun began to explode. But Hermione new a spell to counteract this so all was fine. And then a flock of bats walked past leaving slimy trails of shit and piss in their wake. Hermione didn't know what to do, and in times like these blasted it with piss. Once Harry was alone he sniffed it. "I love you.." he exhaled in delight.
Voldemort discovered that he had contracted the AIDS from McGongall, and instead of getting bitchy about it he decided to use the AIDS as a weapon. Time to fuck some bitches. Vlademort then put his junk inside a megaphone, and blew a amplified load, covering all of Londun with aids. Some of his cum made it all the way to New Zealand, where it landed in Crabbe and Goyle's romantic meal. They did not notice and ate it all.
Hermione turned to Ron. And Ron sensed a fear in her eyes. "It's alright. We will get through this..."
"Its not that Ron, I...I accidentally the World Trade Centre!" Ron spat in her face and Falcon Punched her in her stomach. Stabbed her tow times in the skull. Skinned her hide and fashioned her into a hoody.
Chuck Norris, after finally breaking loose from his cockmongling, ran from his pursuers in agony. Once safe inside the forbidden forest he knelt to the ground and sobbed softly. "O all you host of heaven! O earth! what else?
And shall I couple hell? O, fie! Hold, hold, my heart;
And you, my sinews, grow not instant old,
But bear me stiffly up. Remember thee!
Ay, thou poor ghost, while memory holds a seat In this distracted globe. Remember thee!
Yea, from the table of my memory I'll wipe away all trivial fond records,
All saws of books, all forms, all pressures past,
That youth and observation copied there;
And thy commandment all alone shall live Within the book and volume of my brain,
Unmix'd with baser matter: yes, by heaven!
O most pernicious woman!
O villain, villain, smiling, damned villain!
My tables,-meet it is I set it down,
That one may smile, and smile, and be a villain;
At least I'm sure it may be so in Denmark:"
He proclaimed and immediately fell asleep on the forest floor.
Bella had always loved mudkips the butt hurting creatures, always putting themselves over anyone else. Like her, perhaps. They would tear at flesh with no qualms. She had once seen a mudkip rape a snorlax, when she was young, and it was one of the most beautiful things she thought she'd seen ever. The slip of the mudkips's shlong through skin, easily slitting it. The blood, staining the slowpoke's delicate whiskers a shade of scarlet fit to be relished. The yellow fat of the furry creature under the mudkip's paws, being kneaded gently by white-socked feet. The ease at which they caused pain! The hunger they displayed shamelessly for blood and fresh meat, their saber wangs waiting for something to slip into their path!
Meanwhile in Denmark Bellatrix, being the unfaithful slut that she was fucking a 7-years old instead of her husband Rodolphus, felt a shiver running down her spine as a sneeze shock her body.
Snape found Lupin and Sirius, fucking in his office.
he decided to watch and jerking off at the same time. sirius, came in lupins throat, gagging him. lupin shit from the pain, but his asshole was loosened and his guts came out, ripping his pants off. Suddenly Snape shit himslf. it was a really dry shit, one of those shits were you can barely push and you struggle and struggle. snape grunted and moaned as the massive dry shit slowly ripped his asshole. Madeye Moody saw Snape, and asked "are their any biscuits for my salamander?" then he pulled down Snapes pants and started licking the dry shit. Siruis, done with Lupin, kicked Lupin in the neck, killing him. then he turned into a dog, and dogfucked moody in the pussy. Moody moaned as his tight pussy was being pounded on, and sirius bit Moody's throat, spraying blood everywer. Snape shit all over moodys face and moody shit on sirius dog belly.
they all came and went to finish walking Lupins dinosaur,who was eating Lupins body.
And then Cedric Diggory began sparkling, his body lifting until he stood erect. His clothes became that of sheep wool and Hermione's pubic hair and he flashed a self-brooding yet dazzling smile, "Hello, I'm Edward Cullen." Jacob bounded the fuck in and skullfucked Edward until there was nothing left of him except a pile of fucking glitter on the ground, then the werewolf faggot jumped off a fucking cliff and was never seen again
Meanwhile, as Jacob skullfucked the shit out of her faggoty sparkling boyfriend, Bella was at a lost of whether to fap or to cry at the violation. She had been waiting for this moment ever since she met Edward! But with a cry of pleasure, her penis ripped through the material of her jeans and she came, coating the two in her essence. It sparkled.
Chuck Norris sat up suddenly, wiping the sweat from his brow. He'd had a nightmare again. He cradled his head in his hands and sighed deeply. Once again it was those kids from Sunset, or Twilight, that pestered his dreams. He hadn't had a full night's sleep since he bombed the Asians in Nam. He looked around in the forest, trying to ignore his morning boner and realised he was not alone. 50 centaurs stared back at him from within the darkness, everyone holding 30inches giant black dildoes. Chuck Norris cracked his neck and smashed his knuckles together.
"Show time."
DUN DUN DUN!
Stay tuned for the next exciting chapter straight from Reddit!
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.
Draco ripped off Edward Cullen's head and began to violently fuck his jugular vein. Jacob appeared from behind and put his dog cock in Draco's ass
Returning from what seemed to be a really gay vision into the future life of Cedric, Harry found himself nude in the shower, next to a bottle of conditioner. His ass was in much pain. Then, motherfucking Sylvester Stallone
Inside the castle Dumbledore woke up from after snuggling with Gandalf the Grey, who now was white as Dumbledore had cummed all over him. He stretched his arms and looked out the window over the castle grounds and sighed contently. A knock on the windows surprised him and he opened it to see a snowwhite owl with a letter. He immediately recognized it as Harry's owl Hedwig and proceeded to stuff it up his anus as a morning stimulationHedwig then yelled 'WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING, YOU HORNY MISCREANTS!' and made her way out of Dumby's ass, her white feathers stained brown with shit.
Voldemort died from his AIDS, after successfully infecting twelve mud-bloods, Crabbe and Goyle, and the corpse of Micheal Jackson.
Suddenly something nobody predicted happened...Neville turned his time turner too many times and sent everyone 30 years back into the passsssstttttt! *slusuhsuidh sound effects sdiojeoi*
Dobby had been in a galaxy far, far away, showing 2 hobbits the way to Mordor. Their journey had been long and full of betrayal, but not one of the creatures could deny the existence of bare sexual tension. The castle shook violently as it couldn't handle the pressure of time travelling and Dobby, now returned from Mordor, found himself once again leading faggots somewhere he didn't know where it was as he evacuated the castle into the discoing 80's England.
and them harry looked around at what was happening in his realm and yelled passionately "?" while flailing his arms into the air 30 years ago in hogwarts, harry's dad and mom and voldemort and gandalf and dumbledore were all in 3rd year of hogwarts together Wow, thank you Harry,You're right, that was amazing! exclaimed Ron, as Harry pulled Hermione's tightly clenched fist back from the grip of his anus.
Now, a short break for some poetry inspired (like most of this fic) by DrarryDramioneHeadquarters. She may be a mongoloid, she may smell a little funny, she may love incest, she may have done WTC, she may frequent Tumblr, but she's OUR waste of life. This is for you, DrarryDramioneHeadquarters.
-Malfoy Manor-September 1995- Harry potter 5th year I have snipped your penis. The precious foreskin. here all senses go away your cunt isnt clean. Stinky fingers snap my jaw, Mr. massive cock amber lampy lamps rub my cock raw. -Anonymous-
Hogwarts-May 1998-BattleTOADS My pussy is on fire You'll never cure the burning herpes -The pussy you'll remember-
Lestrange Manor-june 1996-Harry potters 5th anal
How i made you He fucked me did not pull out you're a filthy nigger make the cradle nigger And now i wont pay you -anonymous-
Milfoy Manners- May 19999- Australia Fuck my corpse i love shitty bands 3oh!3 is shit -Your mother-
Milf Manners- fuck 9000- assstralia Little girl, run away ill fuck your brother, cuz hes gay little one, half inch dick fuck my ass, tho it stinks -Faggot greenday fan-
Grimmauld Place-August 199999- Hairy pussy's Eighth trim Gotta get that pussy gotta get that kooch Gotta get myself some pussy were ilk fuck da kooch -Darren criss is a faggot-
Meanwhile, Dumbledore was now being fucked by Mrs Weasley with a strapon. His anus prolapsed, and blood spewed across the room! Mrs Weasly thrusted harder and harder, and more blood spurted forth!, then Mr Weasley entered and beganed to make hard, unforgiving thrusts into dumbledores vagina as he moaned in pain. Ron and Hermoine awoke next to each other, his peen still inside her hoo-dilly. They looked content until Ron saw his mother behind him, and his father behind Hermoine. Dumbledore then pulled away and began to fuck Mr weasley in the ass using his prolapse, while Mrs Weasley rammed Fawkes up her pussy. Then a loud scream echoed through the corridors of Hogwarts
Malfoy, up in the bathroom taking a huge shit, discovered he now had hemorrhoids. While inspecting the blood in the toilet Moaning Myrtle came up and raped him from behind. Malfoy then found out the true reason for the nickname 'Moaning' Myrtle.
harry walked into the past gryffindor tower, and found james and lily fucking. 'mom, dat, wtf?' 'oh hey son, want to join us?' harry couldn't ignore his pounding boner so he pumped in, plowing his past-mom's ass. after both harry and james came, they briftsted each other, then shoved both their cocks into lily's mouth. harry immediately shoved his cock down his mom's throat as she screamed, dobby yelled "no master! the space time continunmumu!" but harry paid no attention. just then dobby was grabbed by young voldemort who was eyeing him from across the room and proceeded to bite off his nipp
suddenly longcat swept around the corner, issuing a decree that trolls were invading the castle, and could only be destroyed by being sexually satisfied
and so it was the dawn of a new era, one of threads for justice and cock slapping for all. the butthurt twats of old had been vanquished in the epic battle of facefuckery, a costly victory with the demise of over nine thousand brave faggots. But little did the surviving ball-gagging jerkoffs know - that a new enemy was lurking, fapping in a dark corner as he twisted his scheme for vengeance...
hermoine tried to harness the powers of the deathly hallows to save herself, but the ressurection stone began to massage her clit and the elder want rammed itself up her cunt, she tried to scream, but the cloak of invisibility hid her from the other's sight as she was raped by the magical objects
the magical objects came like, a lot of jizz, as it was seeping out of Hermoine's eyes, and out from under the cloak
the elder wand traveled up hermione's butt, up through the rest of her body and came flying from her head, piercing her skuul. lucius took his long but surprisingly narrow dick and skullfucked the slender hole.
Just then Fawkes ignited, burning the fuck out of Mrs. Weasley's pussy and it smelt like hot dogs.
hot dog's happened to be argog the spider's favourite food. he came bounding out of the forbidden forrest, impaling many secondary characters with his knife like legs and dove into the pussy of mrs weasly
"Are you brave enough to let me see your peacock, master?" Doby cried out, having came back to life for around the second or third time in the story. Harry thought momentarily before ramming his cock into the house elf's mouth, in and out, at a surprising speed!
J.K. Rowling, wandered out of the woods, and looked at Chuch Norris on all fours, in all of his cum vomiting glory. He continued to pant as the minatour continued to push and pull the dildo, in and out of his chamber of secrets. The mintoar looked up and stopped, so did chuck, they both just silently watched her, remaining as still as they could. She scratched her head, "Oh 'ello! I didn't mean to stop your poop cleanin'!" Chuch norris looked behind him at his ass invader and looked back at her, "It's ok! Why don't you come over here so I can vomit on your tits!" She walked over to him, and pulled apart her white buttoned top, shooting the buttons in all directions, revealing two small breasts tightly concieled in a small black laced bra, with sea through black cups, covored in leaf like solid black symbols. Chuck didn't even wait for Rowling to reach him, as she was still several metres away, when he began to violently vomit an accurate spray of yellow, and white vomit. That repeatedly smashed her in the chest causing her to lose her breath. His jaw remained dropped, and his eyes looked furiously focused, as he screamed out, "!" She fell backwards, landing into the dirt, as chuck norrises vomit strengthened, causing her to slowly slide backwards in the dirt, she held out her hands, trying to keep it from hitting her in the face, instead it was launched up her skirt.] Hot damn that's retarded.
This was a job for none other than...
BOXXY! Who had conveniently just arrived at Hogwarts, and would be put under the imperius curse and forced to sexually satisfy the trolls.
Dudley rolled into the great hall accidentally flattening Aragog and getting his dick stuck in some cake.
Chuck managed to shout, through this torrent of vomit "SHOOP DA WOOOOOP" and the vomit beam strengthened yet again, as Chuck's hair turned glowing yellow and stood straight up, a golden aura emanating from his body.
little did they know...adolf hitler was plotting the entire quagmire they had gotten into, he was almost ready to rise from the grave and skull fuck every jew at Hogwarts
Giggity giggity
also regulus black did something.. maybe...it was confusing and didn't really make sense
Unknown to J.K., Chuck, or the minatoar (Who was now slowly stepping backwards in horror, trying to escape.) was that Chuck Norrises vomit was full of semen, so as her panties were moistoned by his chunks of belly bullets, small droplets of semen were piercing it, and entering her goblet of fire (she's a red head, right?) as this ordeal continued, J.K. Slowly began to pass out, because the vomit had clogged her nasal, and oral passages. Cuasing her to be unable to breath. The last thing she saw before she passed out was another minatoar, coming out of the woods to slap Chuck Norris across the ass, with a twenty seven inched dildo. The force made a thundrous roar through the forest, as Chuck Norrises ass deflected the massive dildo into the air, and jiggled from the blow. This caused him to close his eyes and smile, and J.K. was gone.
then a troll took the above poster and used his octocock to fuck him over 9000 times, until he regretted his statement
THIS IS THE STORY OF A DAY WHERE THERE WAS ALL THIS BLOOD. A MAN WAS WALKING AROUND AND BLOOD STARTED COMING OUT OF HIM EVERYWHERE. THERE WAS SO MUCH BLOOD THAT IT FILLED UP AN ELEVATOR. HE WENT TO THE STORE AND THERE WAS JUST BLOOD ALL OVER THE PLACE! PEOPLE WERE SLIPPING IN IT AND THEY WERE ALL GROSSED OUT. HE TRIED TO GO SWIMMING AND ALL OF THE SHARKS WENT NUTS AND BITTENED EVERYBODY. HE GOT CHASED BY ALL THE VAMPIRES EVER. ONE TIME THE BLOOD GOT A KID AND A DOG. AT THE END OF THE DAY EVERYONE DECIDED THEY WOULD SEND HIM TO SPACE SO THAT HE WOULD STOP GETTING BLOOD EVERY WHERE. THE SCARIEST PART IS THAT THE MAN WAS YOU! (OR HE WAS A LADY IF YOU ARE A LADY) AND YOU FORGOT THAT THIS HAPPENED. AND IT WAS KNOWN AS THE WORST PERIOD IN HISTORY, IN MORE THAN ONE WAY.
The clouds parted over the forbidden forest, as the sky turned to a dark shade of red. Trees began to shake and thunder shook all of hogwarts.
From the parted clouds descended a dark figure, silhouetted against the blood-red sky, who descended to the ground, and walked towards the ongoing orgy. As the sky brightened, the figure was revealed to be SSJ4 gogeta, now glowing with power, his eyes fixated upon super saiyan Chuck Norris.
"wtf man onli sayuns can do that, faget." he said, then kicked chuck in the balls and flew away.
and so once the blood orgy had ended and everyones thirst had been quenched, a challenger appeared - one more fearsome and grotesque than all the rapists they had previously counter raped. it was a troll, of magnificent proportions. one so massive and homosexual that harry and the werewolves and vampires went flaccid and shrunk at the mere sight of it. the mighty uber troll swung a battleaxe, not of steel, but of literary prowess, lashing the bunch with his forked tongue and terrifying words. they were powerless, frozen in fear, until a savior, the one who is called John-a mythical man, one who had long been thought to have disappeared into the anals of history came bellowing forth with his retort: SUP' FAGGOTS?
john! they all screamed, lathering in the cum he had blown during his entry, they knew that together, this troll may just be beatable
Hey Faggots,
My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebook.
Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was captain of the football team, and starter on my basketball team. What sports do you play, other than "jack off to naked drawn Japanese people"? I also get straight A's, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.
Pic Related: It's me and my bitch
Suddenly a wild Edward Cullen appeared and Ash Catch'em was like what the fuck is going on here? Then Harry was like wait a second this isn't Pokemon or Twilight you both get the fuck out. Later, Harry potter took a giant shit and finally got the last turd for his masterpiece he'd been working on since he first got to Hogwarts. His giant octopus made out of shit was finally completed. After affixing the final tentacle made out of shit, he fapped and corn.
AFTER DEEPLY STARING AT EACH OTHER THEY GRAB EACH OTHER'S COCK AND START MUTUAL MARSTUBATION.
THEY GET MARRIED IN CALIFORNIA AND ADOPT A MIXED RACE VIETNAMESE-ESKIMO LITTLE HERMAPHRODITE GIRL/BOY (WTF?) AND LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER UNTIL ONE DAY A BUNCH OF ARGENTINIAN SKINHEADS GANG-RAPE THEM ALL AND THEN THEY ALL GET MARRIED AND COMMIT COLECTIVE SUICIDE WHEN THEIR CHILDREM ARE BORN WITH DOWN'S SINDROME.
EXCUSE ME ANYTHING, GRAMMAR MUST BE TERRIBLE CAFFEINE OVERDOSE HERE GOD DAMNED EXAMS HURRR DURRR
luna, who had been reincarnated, wanted to join the fight, but unfortunately, she once got in one little fight and her mom got scared and said "you're moving with your auntie and uncle in bel-air
and then a skeleton popped out
nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger Nagini and Gryffindor's sword are Horcruxes. nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger
The troll laughed
"And now back to the news, what the weather out there like, ollie?" "ITS RAININ FANGIRLS" ollie replied "im sorry, is there anything we can do?" Tom tucker asked sympathetically "Stop writin yaoi!" ollie pleaded "I can't let you do that, ollie williams" star wolf exclaimed pouncing on him. We now return to moar yoai
then harry went on 4chan for some furry porn, and his dad's ghost walked in and said "HARRY WTF ARE YOU DOING ON 4CHIN" "STFU DAD" then ginny was all "SCRUFFY WTF ARE YOU DOING ON THE COMPUTER" then harry realized he was dog, so he shat in the common room.
Neville was lonely again, and since he didn't have any real friends he went upstairs to read fanfiction. He saw a new story of his favorite pairing, and eagerly clicked it open. He raged when he found out it was satire, and left a review about how it was 'BULLSHITE'
So the day marched on. Bruce Willis stumbled through the corridors, his cock eager for something more than gauged 7-year old butt. He walked into a room with Lucy McClane in it, and proceeded to fuck her in the bunghole. It wasn't long before Chuck Norris walked in. AND HE SAID...
"Pardon, me, may I interrupt? We are travelers and we are lost...Sorry for interrupting your work, gentlemen. I say have you seen a large, blue telephone box? Please forgive my companion, she's not from this era -er area... Would you like a jelly baby?"
JELLY BABIES, NIGGA
[EVERYBODY STOPP-ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD!
Then the nigger kid started eating chicken, so ron jump-kicked him in the spine. LOL, NIGGER ALWAYS SLEEPING" said ron. Ron made his way to harry, who was fucking Bearmione. "WHAT THE FUCK MAN. So ron shit on the tv. He jumped off the tv and slammed into bearmione. Bearmione threw a pokeball but missed. She didnt press "b" wen it closed. Ron, Angry, Bit Bearmione`s neck. What the GRAWRRRG?" said bearmione. Harry peed, cuz he was scared.
Ron screamed"BAD DOG!" and rubbed harry's face in it. Dogs are bad. Then ron heelkicked harry's neck, Snappingg it. LOL WHYS EVERYONE SO SLEEPY?
Laater, Ron was eating puddi but it tasted weird. So he threw it at the nigger kid's body. S Dumb nigger still sleeping." he said.
Parvati Hindian girl came to see ron. Ron knew, cuz she stinks. like those really bad indians, she had pussy hair crawling down, trailing were cever she walked.
Ron said" YOU Smell like asshole" and pushed her down the stairs. Everyone laughed. Oh that ron...
And then the cast of harry potter puppet pals appeared and started raping their real life equivelents with a...thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pooooooooooole
Meanwhile at a Death Eater gathering, Regulus Black was busy satisfying the sexual appetite of a huge troll. The troll pounded into him mercilessly, while crushing Regulus face into the ground with one of his huge hands. When the other Death Eaters realised that the troll had fucked Regulus Black to death, his cousin, Bellatrix Lestrange stepped in, she cast the engorgio charm on her butthole and took on the troll. Voldemort stepped up to Regulus Black's lifeless body and began rubbing his tiny cock into the bloody remains of his face.
Then Voldemort looked over and saw Krillin! "What are YOU doing here?" Voldemort screamed in fear. Krillin replied, "I'm just Krillin." Then he started fucking his totally hot android wife that he was dragging around by the cunt hairs cuz he's straight up supafly
As Osama Bin Hardon set the C4 explosives along the chairs/tables of the Great Hall, he chuckled to himself "Great hall will be not so great! HEHEHEHE" and then Ron was like "I smell dune coon", and he karate chopped Osama in the turban, and he died of brain aneurysm. He removed his turban only to discover that... HOLYSHITDICKS! Osama Bin Hardon was just 4 pissed off sand-niggers in a white robe!
Harry's nubile, pulsating body rubbed slowly against Draco's engorged penis, the two entwined in a passionate embrace, sweating with anticipation. Beads of heavenly man juice trickled sporadically down the two boys, glancing each other looks of the purest lust while they licked one another, relishing in the delight of homosexual activity. Suddenly, Harry's anus expanded to sizes of gargantuan proportion, enveloping Draco's entire body and slicing through his young, tender flesh with the hardened anal tendril beings dwelling within. "Oh, fuck. I'm fucking dead as shit!" Draco cried, as long spires skewered him like a little bitch in an organic shit-tomb. Harry giggled with glee like a little trap. He had consumed yet another human to satiate his manic psychosis that permeated his every action.
Meanwhile, Hermione was bordering on climx with Ron during a stale hump, and Ron, with immaculate timing, pulled out just before and took a quick, dieuretic shit on her face, engulfing her orifices with fecal matter and reducing her to a spluttering, sexually frustrated vomit fountain.
Then, suddenly, the world erupted in an explosion because it was 2012.
Author's note: You have Uncyclopedia to thank for this, . If you're offended by the content of this fanfic please take it up with them. Also, please write bad reviews on DrarryDramioneHeadquarters's fic no matter how you feel about this story because she LOVES it. She thinks they're the lolcat's pajamas srsly. So, I'm sorry this had to end so unexpectedly, but our band broke up due to contract disputes. Also, several misdortunes befell our crew:
Trorr died of a heroin overdose.
Bump got arrested for publishing U.S. secrets even though he's Australian.
Anonymous (with red font) became an hero after losing track of the thread.
Anon got backtraced and was subsequently arrested.
And all the others are here with me. Circle-jerking. :D
Good night, and good morning.