A/N This told through Jacin's perspective about a year before the Lunar Chronicles takes place. Eventually I will add more chapters on. This is my first fanfic! I hope you enjoy and leave comments.
I can't quite keep the smile hidden from my face as I walk through the palace doors. Today is one of my few days off and I have an idea of how I want to spend it. I take the stairs towards Winter's suite with her favorite apple petites tucked in my back pocket. As I round the corner I can already tell something is off. For one thing her door is ajar. And where was her guard? He should have been posted outside of her room.
I feel my palms begin to sweat and my pulse quickens. Then I hear her sobs and that's all it takes for me to break into a run towards her room. As I get to her door I hear a male's voice, presumably her guard, asking her to calm down. I find relief that she is not alone but not enough to ease the worry tension in my jaw. I square my shoulders as I cross the threshold into her room. She looks up as with her eyes red and face puffy from crying.
"Jacin?.." she whispers barely audible.
I immediately place my hands on her shoulders, looking into her eyes. Ignoring her guard standing behind me.
"Win..Princess what's wrong? Are you alright?" Concern leaking into my words.
"The walls.. They're bleeding.. I can't make it stop" she closes her eyes and sobs, trying to block out the hallucinations.
Relief floods me, she's not hurt. It's just a vision. This calms my nerves only minutely. My heart aches knowing her mind tortures her.
I give a dismissive nod toward her guard. He seems eager to be relieved of the situation and quietly leaves us, closing the door behind him. I turn my face back towards her and tip her chin up at me. Forcing her to look at me.
"It's not real," I sternly whisper.
" You're safe, I'm here." I repeat it several times for it to sink in.
I wrap my arms around her and her head goes limp against my chest. She lets out one last breathy sob and nobs.
The warmth of her body against mine is reassuring. She's here. She's the only reason any of this matters. Though I have never wanted to be a royal guard, I at least can find something that makes it worthwhile, to serve and protect my princess.
I can feel her breathing become less erratic and her arms that were loosely hanging by her sides wrap themselves around my waist. I lean my head on hers and inhale. She's here.. And for a moment it feels like not even the queen will be able to take this from me.
I would tear this world apart for winter. For her to not suffer from lunar sickness; she deserves her sanity and for these visions not to wreck havoc on her mind. She deserves more than this small rock that we call home can give her, which reminds me I still have the candies in my pocket.
" I brought something for you," I say hoping it will cheer her up.
I feel a slight smile for her against my chest. Releasing her I take out the apple petites for her. She grins up at me as she shoves one of the candies in her mouth.
"Hmmmh do you want to share the other?" she says with her mouth full.
I chuckle low and nod my head no. She excitedly eats the other with a grin on her face.
"Whapfm?" she says, her words muffled by her chewing.
I just smile back and sprawl out over her lounging chair.
After her loud gulp she asks, " So what brings you here, today?"
"I thought maybe I could save a princess from some half crazed pirates?" I reply in hopes that one of our childhood games will bring her some escape from the haunting visions or the lingering cruelty of the queen.
She sits by my feet and reclines her head against my shins. Looking down at her I see her blush.
" Only if my hero rescues me with a kiss.."
My breath catches for a second.
"Winter.. I.." I can't get out the words.
My heart drops knowing that kissing her would only be a fantasy. I'm a guard..nothing more. Before I can protest though, she jumps to her feet and tries to pull me up by my hands.
" Oh! And thank you for the candies" she quickly adds with a sheepish smile.
"Captain Clay, look behind you!" Winter shouts with mock horror.
I quickly dodge the imaginary sword thrust and hurl myself toward her fortress of pillows. I use her paper mache rain stick as a staff to battle the animal plushies that guard it, which are also known as the mad pirate's minions.
"Get ready! I'm coming for you, princess!"
I hear her loudly giggle behind the pillows.
"Save me Captain Clay!"
I throw back the pillows that imprison her and toss her over my shoulder, still holding the makeshift staff. I make dramatic swishing movements as if there is an army of pirates that I need to force my way through. She laughs and squirms in my arm.
"Don't worry princess they will never hurt you!" I announce as I readjust her position into both my arms.
She looks up at me with her big golden eyes with flecks of grey. One lingering stare feels too intimate. She's a princess...She'll never be mine. Her lips part and sucks in a quick breath as I drop her on her bed.
"Are you wounded, my hero?"
She looks at me with those hopeful eyes. I play along.
" A group of those bastard pirates ambushed me, I barely escaped unscathed...Well not entirely unscathed."
I roll up the sleeve of my shirt to reveal an imaginary gash. She sits up and inspects my arm.
" Oh no! I will have to bandage it." She says sweetly.
She bounces off the bed and runs to her adjacent washroom to retrieve gauze and cotton balls. Upon her return she beings to gently dab my arm and wrap it with the gauze.
" Does it hurt?" She asks with sincerity.
I shake my head, " no, I'll be alright."
" It will leave a scar but I think you'll heal fine." She whispers.
She places a kiss on my crudely bandaged arm. This small touch is enough to make my heart race. With great restraint, I move arm from her grasp. Unexpectedly though, she reaches for my hand and intertwines her fingers with mine.
"Princess..I..this isn't a good idea..." I trail off
Her hopeful eyes turn into a pleading look.
"Just for once can't we pretend for a little longer? Can't we just imagine that you really saved me and that the queen won't marry me off to some stranger for diplomatic reasons. Can't we just pretend this is real for a little while longer, please?"
I let out a sigh. This is a dangerous game, I think to myself. She doesn't wait for me to respond. She leans forward and presses her full lips to mine. At first it is an unsure gentle kiss but I let my walls fall and I wind my arms around her hips. Then she kisses with more certainty. I scoot back on her bed, taking her with me. She breaks the kiss only to readjust herself on top of me. This is going too far already but I'm not ready to stop. She hoovers her face slightly above mine and I place my hands into her dark curls to bring her down to me. She places her knees on each side of my thighs, straddling my lap. I lay my head back against the cushioned headboard and smile against her lips. She shudders and places her hands on my neck. She begins to trail blazing kisses along my jawline. My skin awakens with her touch. I'm losing control in this moment. The back of my mind is screaming that I should stop but then she pushes her small hands under my shirt. My mind snaps, allowing me to reign in the situation.
I grab her wrists before she pull my shirt over my head.
"Winter.. I don't know about this...we could get caught.. I could hurt you.. I couldn't do that you."
She leans her head against my shoulder.
" Jacin, you'll be the only one I'll ever want, you're the only one that chases the visions away."
With this I roll her on her back and without putting my weight on her I hold myself above her. She's more beautiful than anyone on this stupid rock. She's more beautiful than any creature alive. It's hard to phantom that she's here with me. My wonderful brave Wnter. I chastise myself for thinking that she could be mine.. I shouldn't let myself hope.
She seems to read the turmoil in my eyes and whispers, " it's okay, I'm here."
"Winter.. No matter what it will always be you."
Before I can finish she pulls me down to her, kissing me slowly while sliding her hands under my shirt. I detect some insecurity in her movements. I internally curse myself for not making her feel more wanted, for not making her feel more comfortable.
I then press some of my weight on her and balance myself on my elbows. I run the back of hand along her face and I'm rewarded with one her angelic smiles. Pressing my lips to hers, I roll on my side, allowing more access to her body. Her lips part and I trace my tongue gently along the inner curve her mouth.
Again, I'm rewarded but with a soft moan this time. She straddles my hip with one of her legs. Placing a hand under her knee and I begin roaming the length of her thigh.
Her skin is smooth and I want to cover her entirety with loving kisses. This moment feels too powerful yet I'm afraid it could easily shatter. I can't get close enough to her.
She pulls my shirt over my head. Her hands move along my bare skin. Shimming her body down, she plants kisses over my chest and abdomen. I shudder at her warm breath. She smirks up at me as she crawls on top. Without thinking I slide my hands under dress. At this movement she grabs my wrists and restrains them over my head. To my surprise she is actually strong when she wants something. She then grinds her hips clumsily into mine but it's perfect. She has no idea how easily I succumb to her ministrations.
I can't help but emit a low throaty moan. I'm sure that she can feel me harding from her movements. She releases my arms and I'm able to kiss her deeply with my arms around her waist pushing her into my body.
She feels so breakable. I can't do this. She deserves more than rushed moments like this. She should be more safe without fear that her stepmother will punish her severely if we are caught.
Despite this probably being the most physical I'll ever be with her I break away from the kiss, catching my breath.
As if reading my mind, she tightly closes her eyes before opening and says shakily, " I don't want….this to be the moment.. I.."
" I know," I interrupt.
I wish I could take her away somewhere she could be safe. In a world where we could be together. No, I would just hope for a place where she can be safe and happy.
I hug her tightly against me. She looks up at me through her long lashes. I kiss the scars that run along her cheek to her mouth. I relish in the last soft kiss I place on her lips. I don't know if we'll ever get another opportunity like this and I make the kiss last. I hope that this kiss says everything I can't.
I know we have been hidden in her room for too long and someone will be wondering what the princess and the guard are doing.
" How about a walk through the menagerie? I ask.
She smiles up at me in confirmation.