Standing in Oliver's bedroom starring at a photo frame wasn't what I had planned when he asked me to his family Christmas party.
"Admiring my good looks?" I glanced over at my boss, my friend, my hero. I shook my head and handed over the framed photo of me on Diggle's shoulders. It'd been a stupid accident with a wine bottle, some heels and clumsy genetics, which I unfortunately seem to have.
As a way to get me downstairs to clean up the glass, Diggle gave me a piggy back. I wasn't too badly hurt and was laughing at his joke. I didn't even know how Oliver got the photo, maybe he got it from the camera in the club for security. In the photo my head was thrown back in laughter while Diggle's smiled softly as he looked where he was going.
"Oh" Oliver spoke softly, as if he'd been caught red handed with a gun in a murder.
"Oh? Oliver there are many better pictures of me, why this one?" I could hear soft convosation going on downstairs as well as the soft hum of familiar Christmas songs. The whole house was decorated in tinsel and lights. I got the feeling with Moira's return the whole family wanted to pretend even if just for a holiday's that everything was alright again. I also suspected Oliver didn't want to make a fuss so the small tree in his room and all the other decorations around the room where Thea's doing.
"Can I tell you a secret?" Oliver asked, it's not where I would have liked the convosation to go, but I figured he had a point to his secret which linked back to the photo. I gave him a nod in answer and he wondered over to his bed and pulled out a box, craved from oak wood. Very high end and from the way he held the wood, very important to Oliver.
"It was my fathers" Oliver confessed as he offered me a seat beside him as he placed the box between our laps. Oliver was dressed in a handsome suit without the jacket. A guest had split wine on it earlier on in the evening, or at least that was the excuse that Diggle told Thea when she caught the three of us heading up the stairs.
In fact it was a reopening wound from being shot with an arrow last week. I won't go into details but there was a copycat, NOT Malcolm Merlyn. Although we now knew he was in fact alive and well, much to all of our disappointment and distain. So I came up here with him to redress the wound on his back. He'd gone to the bathroom to change and that's how I found the picture of me and Digs.
Oliver slipped open the lid and inside held pictures, a whole pill of pictures.
"You know the one thing I always regretted while on the Island?" I remained silent, answering would give Oliver indication to not tell me, remaining silent made sure he gave me an answer.
"Not smiling properly in family photos. I always hated the notion that we were a 'perfect family' because we were anything but and the whole world knew it. I was a womanizer and a drunk. Thea was a rich snobby girl who'd do anything for Dad's approval and Mum? We all know what she did to pass her time"
Oliver let out a breath, obviously caught up in memories while telling me this story. He described his family perfectly and didn't save his ego any blows. A small change in him since he returned home, I was sure. He pulled out all the photos and handed me the pile. The photos were of his family that much was obvious. Baby Oliver, to Baby Thea, to Young Oliver holding his baby sister. To family holiday photos, to pictures of his mother and father when they were growing up.
He let me go through them at my own pace. It was only when we hit his teenage years did I see what he meant about not smiling. He'd give a kind of half smile, where his lips pulled up but no emotion was in his face and in his eyes all I could read was annoyance and sadness. Each picture after that of Oliver was the same, a forced smile. Even the ones of him with Tommy and Laurel, both of whom were laughing uncontrollably at something in the pictures.
"You know, I can see why you turned into a womanizer. With that face and this house.. It's no wonder" Oliver gave me a small smile, paying little mind to the compliment. The pictures continued, the Queen siblings growing bigger as the parents grew older.
"That's the last picture of me before the island" He spoke softly, almost guilty. There was still pictures of Thea and Moira, some with Walter and some without, but the difference between the pictures with Oliver and Robert was obvious, Moira's and Thea's grief was obvious in both their eyes every time they had a photo taken. Like they were imagining what the photo would be like with the male half of their family. It was only natural but still difficult to see, especially for Oliver.
I continued to flip and the first picture of Oliver being back in the fold again was at the Christmas party this time a couple years ago and for the first time his smile looked genuine. Still fake for a photo, but he at least pretended to be happy. I don't even think I'd be able to tell the difference between a fake and a real smile, if I didn't seen a real one so often.
"Why are you showing me all this?" Oliver shrugged
"Felt like sharing. It's not a mood I'm in very often" I scoffed
"Or ever" I found myself muttering as I continued to flip through the pile of photos. The one thing I was glad about while slipping through these photos was that there wasn't any tabloid photos. They were all printed and taken by people in their circle, some even showing the taker of the photo in the picture with a mirror or a turnaround camera with the kind of the picture you'd find a as a Facebook photo nowadays. Most of the pictures of Oliver with Laurel were like that, taken in Laurel's apartment, some even at the old Lance home with both sisters.
I continued to flip through, glad he was sharing but wondering why this linked to me. Then I saw it, it must have been at an event for the company when Walter was still in charge. I hadn't even bothered to dress up that much, but still the photographer at the party insisted I get a photo with Walter and when Walter agree making a joke about his wife would be jealous if he were the straying type, the photo was taken.
As the photo's continued there was still Thea, Tommy, Laurel, Moira and Walter but between them were pictures of Diggle. He wasn't much for smiling either so having pictures of Oliver and him smiling together went in the collection. Some of them I even recognised because I took them. As the I came towards the end of the pile, most of the pictures were of me and Diggle. The ones of me were varied. Some from official company events, some from the time my sister visited and we mucked around with my camera for a couple hours, some were even with Oliver.
"To capture the memories" Oliver spoke softly, obviously expecting my surprise.
"I've come to realise that photos aren't about pretending, they're about remembering the good. It's about saying 'hey I know I'm not perfect, but I still found people who care about me and I care about them'. I started this collection as soon as I was sure no one would think it was suspicious, it took a while to get some of them. Especially the family photo's as Mum kept them somewhere locked up in photo albums. Albums she'd know if they'd been tampered with, so I waited for one of her lengthy trips away and make copies"
I smile softly at him, handing him back all the pictures but one.
"And the photos of me?" Oliver smiled
"You care about me and I care about you" He answered as if it was nothing more than a fact.
"But I'm not family—" I wanted to argue, why did he care so much?
"Felicity you may not be related to me. But you are family… If nothing else tells you that, the counts buried body should" I shivered at his blunt comment. It wasn't unusual to get an answer like that from Oliver. He may protect you from bullets or a pure formula of Vertigo, but he didn't protect you from the truth or at least not the truths he felt the need to share and with me, little truth passed me by. If not by how well I knew Oliver but by how much he told me.
"Come on, our guests are waiting" I smiled, he jumped up and put all the photo's under the bed inside the box.
"Your guests" Oliver hooked my arm in his as he grabbed the suit jacket that matched his changed pants.
"What's mine if yours" I smirked as we stepped out of his bedroom, the music and chatter getting louder as we went back downstairs.
"Does that mean your bank account?" Oliver let out a chuckle.
"Can't you already hack my accounts anyway?" I shrugged
"Yeah, I could. But then I'd deny you the pleasure of my company" Oliver let our arms fall and he grabbed my hand.
"Well thank heavens for that"
We didn't get many nights off and that wasn't because the boss didn't care it was because our work was important to us because we are important to each other and maybe that's just what's been missing in Oliver's Life to make him feel important in ways that didn't require him to take on a role. Son, Brother, Hero or CEO. For someone to say 'You know Oliver Queen? I know every part of him and I still care'
I promised myself in that moment I'd give Oliver copies of some of my personal photo's, ones of me in college. Ones that showed him I trusted him and maybe one day I'll be able to show him the photo frame I keep under my pillow every night with a photo of him and Digs in it. It made me feel safe and from now on it'll make me feel cared about.