Title: I keep hoping.
Fandom: Lost, season 3.
Pairing: Desmond/Charlie.
Rating: K /T.
I don't own Lost… I don't own anything at all…
I keep hoping, I'm still hoping. Hoping that someone can save us, that Penny can and will save us. But now I know how much it will cost us.
Your death… I can handle it, I'm sure; I can live knowing that you're dead, dead because of me. I've already handled so much; this will be just another mistake I made. I will drink, drink, drink until I can't remember my name, and that will be the time I'll be able not to remember you and your sacrifice.
Charlie…
I'm… I'm so sorry…
I will tell you tomorrow, not today. Tell you what you must do to save us. I will hope that my visions are lies. I still believe in God, but I'm already so tired from asking him "why?". I won't pray for you, Charlie, because God never listened to me. And I hope you won't pray, because God won't listen to any of us. It's false hope, Charlie… it's all fake…
When we're left alone, just you and me, and all others go ahead into the jungles, I can't help it and embrace you, breathing in your smell, feeling your skin and hair under my fingers. You ask "What's up with you, Desmond? Did you have another vision?", but I can't say anything. Just stay there and listen to your heart beating somewhere near mine, and hope that I'll be able to hear it again, hear your voice again, see you again.
Alive.
Maybe it's funny, silly, pointless, but I keep hoping, Charlie, because I don't want you to become another mistake in my life.
I keep hoping.