Author's Note: Hello again! I finally have time to write again, so as promised, here is the sequel to "Dreams of Dark Chocolate and Stale Cigarettes." If anyone reading this has not yet read "Dreams," I would highly suggest doing that before proceeding as you will most likely be confused without the background.

There are a couple things I would like to discuss before you start reading, so please bear with me. Last time, I put two songs after the prologue that I thought represented the story as a whole. This time, I'm going to pick out a song for every chapter. From each artist I select, I'll pick two songs, one to accompany one of Mello's chapters, and the other for one of Matt's chapters. My goal is to pick a song for each chapter that represents it literally and/or symbolically with at least 90% accuracy.

Like last time, this will start off rated T, and I'll change it to M when the time comes. I will also continue to put warnings at the top of any chapters that contain lemon for anyone who doesn't want to read that sort of thing.

There is one more thing, but I don't want to give anything away, so I suppose I'll have to wait until after you read chapter 1 to bring it up.

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or any of its characters.

Standing Still by Deas Vail

Prologue: The End

Dear Mattie,

I'm sorry that I'm doing this to you, and I'm so sorry that you have to read this, but I wouldn't be able to do this any other way. You probably won't believe me, but I don't want to hurt you.

I know you won't believe that I still love you, but I do. I love you so much, and that's why I can't be with you. I can't stand to see you hurt anymore. I can't stand to see us fight everyday. Maybe it's selfish of me, but I just can't do this anymore. But this is the last time I'll hurt you. I promise.

You're probably thinking that I'm a coward, and you're right. I am. I'm terrified that if I don't leave, things will only get worse. Then we'd be left with nothing. I don't think I could ever hate you no matter how bad things got, but it's better if we don't find out. I'd rather just remember how we were when we were happy together.

I'm sure you probably hate me for this. I'm sure you wish I would have never asked you for help, that the night I left Whammy's would have been the last time you ever saw me, but I want you to know that I don't. I could never regret falling in love with you. The only thing I regret is letting things get so bad between us that there's no longer any way to fix it. I really did want to, but that's just not possible anymore.

I know this is no justification for how much I've hurt you in the past or how much me leaving will hurt you, but at least now it's only temporary. If I'm not there, we can't fight, we can't make each other miserable. It's like ripping off a band aid. We'll get over it.

No, I'm probably being conceited thinking you'll even miss me. Maybe you'll be happy I'm gone. Maybe you've already hated me for a long time. But if you didn't already, you would have eventually if I'd stayed, and I don't think I would be able to handle seeing that.

At least if I leave, I'll never be able to hurt you again. So I have to. Even though it's the end between us, I want you to know that I will always love you. I'll never forget the time we spent in this house. I can only hope that one day you will forgive me for everything I put you through.
I'll love you always.

Mello