Amber: generation next

Jessica's tale: The Age of Innocence 2157-2403 d'L

Chapter 1: Growing Up in Amber

Dworkin "What would another generation have been like?" He chuckled

Corwin "How can such a question be answered? I have no idea." (Roger Zelazny's Hand of Oberon)

I am about to answer that question.

A beginning is a very delicate time . . . especially if your whole life is but a Shadow of the truth . . . every possible reality exists in Shadow they say . . .

'Many of the truths we cling to, depend greatly upon our own point of view.'

– Master Obi-Wan Kenobi

Oberon's Pattern Ghost "I can recite the entire genealogy of the royal House of Amber."

Merlin "So can any good scribe back home."

Oberon "I'll throw in the illegitimates."

Merlin "How many were there, anyway?"

Oberon "Forty-seven, that I know of."

Merlin "Aw, come on! How'd you manage?"

Oberon "Different time streams," he said smiling. (Roger Zelazny's Knight of Shadows)

My brother, Owen, and I are counted among those illegitimates, as are Michael, Anthony, and Kyle. Valian and Julia are illegitimate children of Dworkin. This fact however was hidden from us most of our lives, even by the Pattern and the Logrus. No one but Oberon and Dworkin knew the truth, until now . . .

My name is Jessica Brandier Barimen. I have brownish-green eyes depending upon lighting and my mood. I weigh about 48 kilos; stand approximately 154 cm high; have an incredible athletic 86-55-86cm figure id est 107 lb.; 5' 6"; 34-24-34 inch. Although I've always tried to maintain a rich golden tan, I have fair skin. I have long, beautiful, blondish-red hair on my head with eyebrows and long lashes to match, but that's it, not even hair one between my legs. I've never touched a razor in my life. I have no body hair whatsoever. My absolute physical age is 21, though I've lived much longer.

I would prefer to roam au naturel, but even in Amber, clothes are required. My style would be equivalent to 14th-15th Century European on Shadow Earth. I prefer dresses to breaches and sandals to boots if I must wear shoes. My colors are blue, black and a touch of gold id est -for all the heralds reading this: Azure, Sable, Or. I don't wear much jewelry, except on formal occasions, but I do wear earrings occasionally, perhaps a ring or two, a necklace, or a bracelet rarely all at once. Okay, back to my story . . .

Amber time: 2157-2169 d̀L

Seventy-two years before the Battle of Yavin, a twelve-year-old girl named Lurlyne Damaris was abandoned on Mimban.

The planet Mimban, also known as Circapous V, is part swamp, part jungle, and part bog. It is the world which holds the Kaiburr Crystal. The crystal is said to have the power to make someone that is Force-sensitive virtually invincible.

At the age of fourteen, Lurlyne conceived twins by middle-aged man with thick black hair and beard streaked with silver, his name was Oberon. One month later, she met an aging Jedi named Alandean and his blue-skinned female companion Malina. They had come to Mimban in search of the Kaiburr Crystal and the Sith Temple which contained it.

I don't remember Master Alandean, at least not in the sense non-Jedi remember people. I remember a prenatal test he did on my brother and me before we were born. I remember him telling my mother, "The girl child's midi-chlorian level is unusually high, and there is an unidentified factor in her chemistry. Something I've never seen before. As for the boy child I sense unusual tendencies toward violence."

Malina searched for the temple of the crystal, while Alandean taught my mother to use her Force ability. He died before I was born. Malina was not a Jedi, but she did have knowledge of the Force, and tried to continue my mother's training after his death. I listened and learned as much as an unborn infant could. Our mother died in childbirth, Oberon left us at Dierdre's side when we were born.

Princess Dierdre of Amber spent many years in the shadow called Star Wars. Seventy-two years before the Battle of Yavin, her younger brother, Brand, during one his psychotic episodes, disguised himself as her lover and caught up with her there. She conceived twins as a result of that incestral union, a girl and a boy. They were to be part of Brand's plot against Amber 2387.4 d̀L rakasa / through 2390.5 d'L desta , also called the Pattern Fall War era. They mysteriously vanished or were destroyed by Oberon.

However, Brand was imprisoned by Fiona and Bleys before we were of any use to him. Brand admitted this to Dierdre as they were falling into the Abyss, unaware of the switch, at the end of the Pattern Fall War, but I get ahead of my story again. . .

'Always emotion is the future, difficult to see.' – Master Yoda

Amber time: 2169.3 d'L rakasa

Dierdre had taken refuge the ruined temple of the Kaiburr Crystal on the planet Mimban. And, as I will find out much later, the Kaiburr Crystal has similar properties to the Jewel of Judgment . . . But I get ahead of my story once more.

I was firstborn by two minutes, although Owen, my near identical twin brother, as always called me 'little sister.' I look back now and I seem to have a vague memory of having been touched by the power of the Crystal upon birth. At the same time Lurlyne was birthing us Dierdre was birthing her ill-fated children...perhaps they died at birth by natural causes...we may never know. As I said before we were left at Dierdre's side in the place of her own children, I can only assume by the hand of Oberon.

Dierdre Mom, when she regained consciousness, shuffled out her Trump for Amber and stepped through into the Great Hall with Owen suckling her right breast and me on her left. We lived in Amber for the next seven years. During that time, I began exhibiting powers unlike any ever known before in Amber. So unusual in fact that I caught the attention of Aunt Fiona and great-grandfather Dworkin, but it was Fiona who truly took interest.

There was a telepathic link, between Owen and I, that developed from the Moment of our conception. We were infants, what else is there to say. We slept. We ate. We soiled diapers and everything else babies do.

Owen seemed to have natural aptitude for warfare and weaponry. He caught the attention of Uncle Benedict.

Amber time: 2170.15 d'L asada

Owen began walking a week before I did. I developed telekinetic abilities and expanded by telepathic powers. My telepathic powers also allowed me to begin talking early.

Amber time: 2171.5 d'L dewa

I began developing the ability to communicate with animals, and to heal myself and others with a touch. I also began to Farsee, but I didn't understand my visions. I've a feeling Dworkin and Fiona understood, but neither of them ever told me.

Amber time: 2172.3 d'L rakasa

Owen and I were playing in one of Uncle Benedict's gardens, early one autumn morning, when a snake slithered by. I tried using my powers to communicate with it. Snakes lead fascinating lives, if you ever take the time to talk to one.

Owen had found a dagger, carelessly dropped on one of the garden paths, and lept out of a bush to scare me with it. I felt his presence as always, but he did frighten the snake. As it moved to strike him, Owen threw the blade. The snake lay dead, pinned to the ground with the blade in its head.

Uncle Benedict, while looking for his lost blade, saw this act. He scolded me for playing with the snake, and Owen for playing with knives at our age 3. He picked up the blade, wiped it clean on his cloak, sheathed it and escorted us out of the garden. I could feel Benedict's pride in Owen for his skill with the blade, though he wouldn't admit it openly.

Amber time: 2173 d'L

Bleys introduced the family to his twins, Jonathan and Mary. I could sense then that she and I would be rivals, but I didn't understand those feelings.

Amber time: 2174.3 d'L

By the age of five, Owen and I were reading books from the library. Owen, no doubt encouraged by Benedict, primarily read DiGrassi and the works of other fencing masters translated into Thari, as well as tales of warfare and heroic knights. I chose books on romance, religion, theology, Magic and anatomy. Owen read the anatomy books as well, applying the knowledge to warfare uses of course.

Amber time: 2174.3-2176.3 d'L

Mom Dierdre took us into shadow to attend grammar school. During this two-year period of time in Amber we covered six years of schooling.

With the help of Uncle Benedict we learned the art of fencing on horseback, during his visits. On his last visit to that particular Shadow, he brought with him a woman named Tyne, who was pregnant with his son, Darvin.

Aunt Fiona also paid us frequent visits. She taught me a little about the Trumps and how to utilize my psychic abilities for defense and attack. She tried teaching Owen, but he was only interested in the basics.

Amber time: 2175 d'L

Kyle was born to Julian's mistress, Carmel. Unbeknownst to Julian, Kyle was his brother and not his son.

Amber time: 2176.3 d'L

Upon our arrival back in Amber, Uncle Eric was showing off his son, Michael. again unbeknownst to everyone, Michael was the son of Oberon. There was something about him that intrigued me, a strange attraction, but I didn't know just what. Flashes of images Farseen of a future I could not understand.

Amber Time: 2177 d'L

Despite the animosity between our parents, our generation seemed to get along fine. There were problems though with Jonathan, Mary, and Darvin. Problems and rivalries that would continue and magnify as we grew older.

While playing in the Grove of the Unicorn, I called upon the Dark Side of the Force for the first time. The boys: Jonathan, Kyle, Owen, and Darvin, played soldier with wooden swords. I sat under a tree making fallen leaves and flowers circle around me. Mary threw a rock at me, for reasons I still don't know, and hit me in the left shoulder. It left a bruise and a knot, though I was unaware of it at the time. I hurled a rock back at her along with a Force Lightning Bolt. I did her no real harm, but she cried. She ran screaming all the way back to the Castle.

Amber time: 2178.3 d'L

Hide-n-seek has always been a favorite game among children. We Amberites were no different. Owen and I found a secret crawl space in the library and worked our way down.

Eventually we found stairs to the dungeons. We forgot our game and began to explore. I suppose we could've been lost in the tunnels for years, but the Force was with us. We found the Pattern room. The door was ajar so we went in. Old Dworkin stood near the beginning of the Pattern. He was talking to himself, or perhaps the Pattern. Suddenly he looked up at us and said, "You should not be here. It is not your time." With a wave of his hand we were each teleported to our bedrooms.

We tried to go back a few days later, to find a great, dark, metal bound door blocked the opening now, instead of the simple wooden one we'd seen earlier. It was locked with no key in sight.

Amber Time: 2179 d'L

Michael was proving himself the natural sorcerer. At the age of three, he began learning or perhaps developing minor cantrips.

The rivalry between Owen and Darvin began to grow into hatred. Darvin was Benedict's son, but Owen was Benedict's squire. Owen had the gift of warfare, but Darvin fell short.

Jonathan was Mary's lackey, while she was my thorn. I had never done her any real harm, but she resented my abilities.

Kyle tried to keep the peace and remain friends to us all.

Amber Time: 2180-2182 d'L

Feeling an irresistible pull toward the forest and the life within, I snuck out of the castle, when I was eleven, wearing only my night shift.

I was intoxicated by the freshness of the air. The full moon was my light in the darkness. Tir Na-Nog'th high in the sky above Kolvir reminded me of a fairy tale castle. I was a nymph flittering in the forest.

My shift caught a low hanging tree branch. It tore as I struggled to get free, so I discarded it. At first, the cool night air sent a chill rippling through my body, but I soon shrugged it off. The lonely cry of a wolf in the distance excited me. Like that wolf, I was at peace with the night, one with the great forest that is Arden.

I later encountered the wolf pack. They took me as one of their own, for the night, and shared with me their meal. At sunrise I left them with a fond farewell.

I bathed in a pond, nearby where I left the wolves. Then I lay in the sun on the shore to dry. As the sun rose higher, I sat beneath a great oak tree. I could feel its strength and discovered that I could draw upon that strength.

I began to take in the scents of the day as I had the night. It was then I saw her for the first time though I never told anyone before now The Unicorn of Amber. Soft, shimmering white as if covered in down rather than fur and maning; her tiny cloven hooves and the delicate, whorled horn that rose from her narrow head were golden. She looked straight at me with her bright, emerald green eyes.

A soft, gentle, almost sensual voice echoed in my head as I stared into those piercing eyes, "Guard well the truth young one. The hour of your destiny comes." She made a quick gesture with her front feet, pawing the air and striking the ground, three times. Then she blurred and vanished like a snowflake, silently.

I could hear the baying of hounds and the thunder of hooves. I looked around and realized the day had passed. It was early evening and Uncle Julian had finally come to find me. I stood up despite a slight cramp. I began to dust myself off when I realized I was bleeding, not from any wound, my menses had begun. I had also begun developing breasts. How long had I been out there?

The storm hounds broke through the woods. They stopped before me. The lead dog called to his master 'we found her.' The call is answered by a blow from Julian's hunting horn. They circled me and in unison sat on their haunches, patiently waiting for their master.

Morganstern leaped into the clearing followed by another smaller horse. Uncle Julian had arrived and Kyle was with him. Julian saw the blood and nearly panicked.

"It's alright, Uncle," I said, for the first time, using the Force to calm an adult. "I am a young woman now, nothing more."

He threw his cloak around me, lifted me onto Morganstern's saddle and climbed up behind. A whistle to his dogs and we were on the trail back to Amber. I knew I was in big trouble when Mom found out the truth of my escapades.

I convinced everyone a few days later that I was old enough for my own private apartment in the Castle and where to locate it. Located on the third floor of the castle sharing the west wall with Aunt Flora's apartment. The entrance would be through the sitting room nearest the library. I had the door in the southwest corner the sitting room closed off and had a door added between the two former guest rooms. These two rooms each had a small balcony, which together might equal Aunt Flora's next door, perhaps not.

As the staff finished the final details of my decor, I stepped out onto what would become my private balcony below which Michael would plant 'Our Garden.' I leaned against the rail and looked down upon the city below. It was at that moment I first heard the dark sinister voice I would come to recognize as my own. It said, "Embrace the Dark Side and all of this can be yours."

I closed my eyes and shook my head trying to block out the voice. I looked up again, and I saw a procession from Eregnor and Begma. Something was amiss, so I ran downstairs to see what I could learn.

The delegates were granted an audience with King Oberon grandfather. I heard the word vampire mentioned as the doors to the yellow room were closed. The ambassadors brought their daughters with them, both about Mary's age. I was charged with entertaining them.

After dinner that evening, the girls and Mary came up to my rooms for a 'sleep-over.' We gathered around my large rug depicting the Celtic Tree of Life. We sat or lay on pillows on the floor. I was hoping the social setting might seal the breach between Mary and I, but it didn't as time will tell.

That night we swapped stories, secret desires, and took turns braiding and styling each other's hair. We even used the family Trump deck like tarot cards pretending to tell each other's future. Mary used these opportunities to pull my hair and foreshadow a dark future for me.

After we fell asleep on the floor, I had a dream that the tree was trying to communicate with me. A lecture on the sanctity of all life . . . A warning about the seductive nature of darkness . . . A suggestion to ignore that advice and fulfill my destiny and rule Amber at my father's side . . . The Force gives you your power . . . Life creates it . . . It surrounds us and binds us. Like most dreams it may little sense without contemplation, a time-consuming luxury I did not have.

The next morning, King Oberon ordered Benedict to lead a group to hunt the vampires down and destroy them. Benedict announced that he would take Owen, Michael, Kyle and Darvin with him. When I asked to go along, he said, "Jessica, dear niece, you're not old enough."

"Not old enough!" I argued, "I'm older than all the boys, yet you are taking them."

"Your skill at arms is . . . " Benedict began.

"Try me!" I insisted interrupting. "I'm as good as they are. I also have skills they don't!"

Finally, he agreed to test my mettle in a fencing match with Owen. Armed with epees and safety equipment, we saluted each other and commenced our duel. I tried a head cut, which he parried. I parried his riposte to my heart and cut at his wrist. He parried this too.

I parried his attack, and he mine. Then I lunged, was parried, was attacked, and parried again myself. I tried a beat, a feint in quarté, a feint in sexte, and a lunge veering off into attack on his wrist. He parried, barely.

He lunged and beat me back, for all my work he was still my master. I suddenly had the feeling that I couldn't take him, and I parried madly and retreated in the same fashion as he beat me back, step-by-step. With the Force, I instinctively hurled things at Owen. But he dodged everything and came on strong, and I circled to his left, but I couldn't draw the tip of his blade from my right eye. And I was afraid. The young man was magnificent. If I wasn't so desperate to prove myself, I would've applauded his performance.

I kept backing away, and the fear and the knowledge came upon me: I knew I couldn't take him. He was better than I was, when it came to the blade. I tried three more elaborate attacks and was defeated on each occasion. He parried and made me retreat before his own attacks.

Owen disarmed me and held his blade at my throat, but not before I made a strike which would have cut his wrist and we been using non-practice weapons.

Benedict applauded both of us and agreed I could travel with his party. He told us to gather our things and meet him at the Sword's Gleam, the shop of Amber's finest weaponsmith. Benedict bought each of us a fine sword and a dagger for our journey.

Note: in the event you are taking notes on ages, Michael, Kyle, and Darvin were physically nine at this time, due to adventure in Shadow with their fathers

Afterward he took us to the public bathhouse for a customary cleansing, something he picked up from the Japanese on Shadow Earth. The girl that gave me my pre-bath scrubbing was excessively rough. When I got to the hot water of the community tub, I felt scalded though I wasn't. Before that however, as I complained of her technique I cried out, "She's scrubbed all the hair from my body! Aach, my navel is gone!"

Everyone but the girl and Benedict got a laugh out of this. As a result he almost changed his mind about taking me with him. I dressed in a pair of tight black leather breeches, thigh-high black boots, a blue silk blouse, and a black leather doublet trimmed with gold cord. My hair was pulled back and braided in a queue like Owen's. With my dagger on my right hip and the sword on my left, I mounted a palomino named Goldenrod and rode off toward Eregnor with the others. This style was not of my choosing, but worn at Benedict's insistence.

We spent the next two years hunting and destroying the demons that plagued our allies. Together we dispatched two succubi, fourteen vampires, six werewolves, and a Roc.

Amber time: 2182.20 d'L asada

Late summer, the great-grandchildren of the Unicorn played in the sand and surf on the beach near Faiella-bionin, the stairway to Rebma. As Uncle Eric and Mom Dierdre came to fetch us for dinner, Michael was casting his 'Twang' spell on the straps of my bikini. All the boys gawked and my thirteen-year-old breasts and hairless vagina. Mary, who was now physically as old as I was, hadn't yet developed. She was jealous, and I could feel it. I believe she put Michael up to it, but I never asked.

Eric saw the humor in the prank, but Dierdre did not. Eric 'punished' Michael for her sake. I tried to convince Mom that there was no harm done, as I already stated, modesty is not one of my best attributes, but it was no use.

I also sensed Michael's secret desire for me grow stronger at the sight of my nudeness, as quickly as his erection. That was the day our relationship became more than friends or cousins, but neither of us had a clue we were siblings.

There are some moralists out there who would say our relationship was sick and twisted. But even on Shadow Earth, especially this time period circa 1450 A.D., it was not uncommon for brothers to marry sisters, or cousins to marry cousins, especially among royal families to preserve the purity of bloodlines. Our relationship mounted to little more than heavy petting, and masturbation, but no intercourse or vaginal penetration on his part. I'm parthenomanic or was then besides what teenage girl wants to get pregnant? Not I for sure.

Amber time: 2183-2184 d'L

Michael and I studied the art of Trump together, under Dworkin, Fiona, and Brand. Michael is decidedly better than I was. This fact seemed to annoy Uncle Brand, but he hid his reasons and feelings well, only now do I know why. He thought I was his daughter.

Amber Time: 2185.3 d'L ogan

Owen and I hunted together in Arden. A large buck elk came into view. I stopped to marvel a Moment at its beauty. Owen knocked an arrow and drew back his bow. My foot slipped and I crashed into the brush. This startled the elk, who bolted into the woods, as Owen's arrow flew harmlessly by. He prepared to fire again as I stood up, right in his path. He lowered his bow shouting, "You did that on purpose! Damn you and your pacifism."

"I'll not stand here and be insulted by the likes of you," I retorted.

Owen was Benedict's best student, but tended to act without thinking sometimes. He dropped his bow and drew his blade. "Time's up, Little Sis," he said. "Let's see if you to prove yourself a warrior or coward."

"Owen, I'm not in the mood for this," I said.

"Moods are for cattle and love play," he said, "not fighting. Now guard yourself for truth!" He lunged.

I drew my blade in time to parry his strike. I called upon the Force to match his endurance. Hours passed while we fought. It was only through the power of the Force that I was able to stay alive, he wasn't faking this fight he wanted my blood on his blade.

The battle raged. Parry, thrust, riposte, parry, feint, parry, riposte. Finally, I backed him over a fallen tree. He dropped his sword and fell. I stood over him with my sword pointed at his chest. "Looks like I win, dear brother," I laughed.

As I sheathed my blade and extended my hand to help him up, he grabbed his blade in rage to strike a death blow. An arrow deflected his blade. "Enough, Owen," commanded Julian's voice. "She outwitted you. Learn from it, but no sororicide. Go back to Amber and cool your temper. Jessica, come with me."

Uncle Julian pulled me up behind him on Morganstern and we rode off to a secluded area of the forest where he told me to commune with the forest and center myself. Uncle Julian was the only one of my relatives whoever understood that about me.

Amber time: 2186-2187.2 d'L rakasa

I was lonely that year. Michael had gone off with Fiona to study magic in some distant Shadow. Jonathan and Mary were traveling with Bleys. Kyle was learning survival skills with Julian. Darvin and Owen were campaigning with Benedict.

Mom was often shadow seeking my father, but was not having much success. I traveled some with King Oberon on political liaisons, but although I learned a great deal about negotiation and diplomacy, I was quite alone.

Around this time off in a distant shadow near the Courts of Chaos, I believe Julia may have been born to one of Dworkin's concubines. The details of Dworkin's affairs are as vague as Oberon's.