Wheeewwww. What is this? A fic? yes. don't be shocked that i actually finished something OTL
Anyway, sad sad sad Drarry. OTL
Who belongs to J.K rowling.
And the song is Someone like you- Adele. yes yes.
hope you like, and try not to cry too much like i did OTL
3
Draco looked at the cover of the daily prophet, it was early morning and he sat in his one bedroom flat in London. He had left Malfoy Manner behind when the war ended, although it seemed like a lifetime ago now. Maybe it was. That was 5 years ago, but he remembered the face that smiled up at him from the page like it was yesterday. He knew that face, that expression so well. Unhidden happiness.
The picture in question accompanied an article for the biggest news of the Wizarding world since the war's end, the Savior of the Wizarding World's wedding. Harry Potter's wedding. The girl- Woman, standing beside Harry was Ginny Weasley, and, loath to admit it, she looked beautiful in her wedding gown and her face flushed with joy. But, in Draco's opinion Harry was the sight to behold here. He had only seen him in dress robes on a handful of occasions, but none as flattering and elegant as these. He watched as the image Harry moved his head to smile at the youngest Weasley, who was a potter now. As they stared at each other for a moment in the photo, he imagined that to them it was a lifetime. The love between them palpable. His heart gave an old ache, knowing now that Harry had well and truly forgotten him.
I heard that you're settled down
That you found a girl and you're married now.
I heard that your dreams came true.
Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you.
Draco slowly finished reading the article for the 5th time before putting the paper down and rubbing his weary eyes. 5 years. He had spent a lot of time thinking about the war, and his roll in it, spent too much time thinking about maybe's and what if's. He knew he had spent much too long wallowing in self-loathing and bitter regret.
Draco stood and looked around his bare living room, not holding a trace of the only inhabitant. No photos, no decorations. Just the bare minimum of furniture and white walls, empty and impersonal. Running a hand through his pale blond hair he stepped away from the small dinner table and made his way to the counter where he dumped his keys and jacket, grabbing both he toed on his shoes and headed out the door. If he were to be honest with himself he had no idea where he was going, just another mindless walk through a city too big to notice him. Just putting himself through the paces so he didn't rot away in his flat thinking about those maybe's and what if's and the unshakably true knowledge that no one would notice if he had. Draco knew this walk was different though, because the hurt was strong and new, it washed over him in tangible waves and those maybe's and what if's were stronger than ever. He felt his feet carrying him to the nearest alley before he found himself apparating to Diagon Alley, a place he had desperately avoiding for the last 5 years. But he knew why he had come; he needed to know everything had been real. Feel the magic again instead of the dull spark of his own once powerful being, but most of all his thoughts were on the green eyed, black haired wizard that had permeated every aspect of Draco's life since 11 years old. Every moment, every action, every day. But the man was filling up his brain now, the desperate cry of his name sitting heavy and painful on the back of his tongue.
When Draco realized where his feet were taking him he froze mid-step, looking up out of his fringe to the small orphanage Harry had opened at the end of the war. He could feel him inside... and he felt a shrill of panic and the urge to run and lock himself back in his flat flood him. Harry was inside. Just beyond his sight and he knew he couldn't just turn around now. Surely congratulations were in order? What was Draco to ignore what was considered common manners? With this in mind he forced himself to move, walking up the cobble path the pleasant entryway of the charming building. One would not think the simple action of knocking would be so hard but to Draco, the struggle almost tore him inside out. But even as is bony knuckles hit the wood, the sound resonated hallow through Draco's head and he wondering once again what he was doing.
The door opened and the sound of laughter flowed out, it was familiar and a tingle ran down Draco's spine and caused him to raise his eyes to the door and to lock them with shocked green orbs, the laugher dying in the autumn air. The black haired man in front of him gaped and blinked and Draco felt the bottom of his stomach drop out, as he realized the extent of his mistake of coming here.
"Dra- Malfoy?" The disbelief and strain in Harry's voice was clear as he looked at the blond. Draco pulled his face into a cool mask of confidence, his mouth twisting into a soft smirk, despite the ache in his chest at being reduced back to "Malfoy" in Harry's eyes.
"Pick your jaw up off the floor and let me in, Potter. It's cold out here." He knew he managed to sound snide, which was a feat considering he wanted nothing more to press against the other man, to be held, to be convinced that these last 5 years were a joke. That they weren't two war worn men, just two passionate 17 year old boys, desperately looking for comfort in each other. That Harry hadn't forgotten him.
Harry nodded slowly and stepped back from the door, a frown on his lips and a crease between his eyebrows. His black hair was as unruly as ever and the glasses that sat on his nose bridge were traded for a more stylish variety- Probably the youngest Weasel's doing, Draco thought dryly-, his fringe swept off his forehead to reveal a faded lightning bolt scar. Draco stepped into the building even as memories of old times flooded his mind, being in the proximity of the other wizard had his body humming with desire and sadness.
Harry led him to what Draco assumed was his office, mumbling what sounded like "sit" as he went and sat on the other side of the desk. Draco gracefully lowered himself into the chair, his grey eyes flicking around the room. Harry stared at the desk, studiously avoiding looking at the blond, before clearing his throat.
"So… What do you want?" He asked bluntly, a bemused expression on his face. Draco's stomach knotted again and he looked up at Harry, wondering why he just hadn't stayed at his flat instead of desperately wanting to see the other man. Wanting to throttle him and hug him and ask him why.
Old friend, why are you so shy?
Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light.
I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over
"I read about your marriage in the Profit, thought I would come and offer my congratulations and luck to the happy couple." Draco said smoothly, registering the look of surprise that crossed Harry's face.
"Oh... er... Thanks. We are happy. Ginny… Well she's great." A smile lit up Harry's face, "She's amazing."
"I'm glad." Draco nodded cordially and gives a forced smile, "Is she working here with you as well?"
"Yeah. She um… Is our mediwitch. We live here so we can be with the children. She's so good with them. Perfect, really. Like we were made to do this together, you know?" Harry bit his lip, eyes looking far off and Draco knew he was with Ginny in his mind now, and his chest squeezed painfully as he watched Harry. Draco knew that Ginny was the reason Harry never came back for him and he felt his heart throb with heartache, the lump in his throat threatening suffocation. It was one thing thinking of the possibilities alone in his flat, and another thing to see it physically. Harry had forgotten him.
Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
"I'll remember", you said,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead.
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,
Yeah.
Draco's own thoughts wandered, back to the days when he was happy. It had all started during a Hogsmeade weekend; he had stayed behind that day because he had gotten into a nasty row with Pansy and Blaise. He was sitting in the great hall for breakfast when he heard Potter telling his friend's to go without him, that he had a headache and wanted to sleep. With a smirk Draco followed Potter out of the Great Hall, looking for trouble because he wanted to see those bright green eyes ablaze with that beautiful angry passion.
He followed Harry out the way into the courtyard before Harry whipped around, wand drawn and pointed it into Draco's face.
"What do you want, Malfoy? I'm not in the fucking mood for you." Harry ground out, snarl on his face.
Draco involuntarily took a step back; eyes almost crossed from looking at the wand pointed dangerously at him. But those green eyes were shining with thinly veiled fury and Draco felt a shiver start from the top of his head and slowly make its way to his groin. His heart was beating painfully against his rib cage and he felt a fine layer of sweat break out on his brow, need and desire rippling through him. And, like so many other encounters such as this the only way to counteract the desperate urge to kiss him was to lash out.
"What are you going to do, Potter?" Draco spat the name, his face in a cold sneering mask. Harry snarled and stepped closer menacingly, green eyes locked with grey in a venomous glare. Although he and Draco were the same height, Harry had a slightly bigger build and more defined muscle, scrawny yes, but toned from Quiddich. Draco on the other hand regularly cursed his delicate frame. Tall and slender, and elegant, his mother would say. So although both boys could look into each other's eyes with no height restriction, Harry's bigger build was set to intimidate and Draco leaned back a bit.
"Didn't your parents teach you any manners? Oh wait they're-"
The rest was cut off with a pained grunt and a crack as Harry's fist connected with Draco's jaw, sending him sprawling to the ground before the black haired wizard followed him down, pinning him to the ground and smashing another fist to the other side of Draco's pale face. Draco spluttered blood and tried to roll out from under the heavier boy but he was pinned giving an embarrassing cry of fear at being trapped, Harry paused at the sound of the pathetic and vulnerable noise and seemed to focus, looking down at the trapped boy beneath him.
"Ah shit… Malfoy I-"
It was his turn to yelp as Draco smashed his forehead against Harry's face in a head butt at a desperate act for freedom. The black haired wizard's nose splurted blood and his face twisted in fury as he grabbed Draco's thin wrists roughly and smashed them into the ground above Draco's head, pinning them there and snarling down at him. Draco glared right back up, a matching snarl on his face, but there was fear he couldn't quite suppress in his features and Harry froze again.
".!" Draco managed, his mouth and jaw flaring with pain and he whimpered without being able to stop himself. He could feel his entire body trembling and he cursed himself for being so weak, his Father would be so disappointed with him. But what else was new?
"No."
"For fuck's sake…"
"I'm not giving you a chance to attack me, ferret."
"And you'd blame me if I did? You just assaulted me, you stupid git!"
"Well I- er… shit."
"Get the fuck off of me!" Draco starting to struggle in earnest, finding himself horrifyingly close to tears. Potter, the giant prat, always had a way of jerking his emotions and he wanted nothing more than to go down to the dungeons and lick his wounds. He stopped abruptly as his wiggling had caused their hips to rubs together and they both gasped audibly as Draco realized that Harry was hard. A slow red blush crept its way up Harry's neck and his mouth was hanging over in obvious shock, he seemed to be frozen and unable to comprehend what was happening.
Draco looked back up at him in equal shock, but soon a creased appeared between his brow and a bemused expression settled on his face.
"Potter, what-"
His speech was cut off again by other yelp as lips crashed violently against his own, the cut on his lips and the ache in his jaw flaring up and his head smacked roughly against the ground with the force of the kiss. He gave a distressed cry that tapered off into a low moan as Harry took advantage of his open mouth to touch his tongue against Draco's. Harry ground his hips against Draco's, and gave a sharp intake of breath to find that Draco, too, was hard. Unable to stop himself Draco ground up to meet Harry as he started to kiss him back, their movements rough and messy but they started to frot against each other in earnest. Harsh panting and muffled moans were the only sounds that filled the air as both boys were moving in a desperate and quick pace. Draco could feel his orgasm approaching swiftly as pleasure pooled at the base of his spine.
"Harry-" He gave a strangled cry as he came, body jerking beneath Harry's as shocks of intense pleasure shot through him and then the other boy was coming, face buried in Draco's neck, giving a keening sound as he rutted against Draco to ride out his orgasm. Draco's body trembled underneath Harry's and he was desperately trying to get a hold of his breathing and erratic heart rate. They laid there for what seemed like hours, breathing slowly settling, sweat cooling on their brows. Slowly, Harry lifted himself to his elbows and looked at Draco. Draco was expecting to see fear there, or regret but was surprised to see something soft in those eyes.
"I'm sorry." Harry said in a quiet voice, his breath ghosting over Draco's face and his thumb coming up to wipe some blood from Draco's bottom lip. Neither knew whether it was his own or Harry's. It seemed he too was searching for something in Draco's eyes, seemingly waiting for him to explode or the fight that was sure to come. But Draco simply stared up into those green eyes, feeling boneless and sleepy from the drain of adrenaline.
"I'm sorry." Harry said again, then leaned down and ever so slowly and placed a soft kiss to the side of Draco's mouth, "Alright?"
Draco nodded, breath stuck in his throat before he turned his head minutely and Harry pressed a gentle kiss full on his mouth. Grey eyes drifted shut and he felt Harry's hands release his wrists from their bruising grip. Draco reach up shakily and tangled his fingers in the hair on the back of Harry's neck, it felt just as he thought it would and his heart swelled in his chest as Harry started to kiss him again. Not violent like before, it was more tentative now.
There was no tension now; the silence around them was comfortable as they kissed slowly and lazily, just exploring each other's mouths and in no hurry. Harry broke the kiss to breathe and pressed his forehead against Draco's, whose eyes were still closed. His forgotten aches were starting to come back and he finally opened his eyes to look up into the green ones. He was startled to find his body was still trembling despite feeling weightless and he gave a soft sigh.
"Why were you following me…?" Harry asked quietly, pulling himself up to sit and allowing Draco to finally sit up.
"I-" Draco bit his lip and then winced as the action caused his teeth to slip into the split. Harry lifted his wand to Draco's face and he flinched before Harry shook his head and mumbled a healing spell.
Draco never answered his question, but from that point on they found themselves in a shaky relationship of hidden touches and secret smiles. Finding empty classes rooms and corridors. Soft kisses and passionate sex. They were perfect for each other intimately, Draco, who always had to be in control, liked when Harry took the reigns and alternatively, Harry who never felt in control liked to possess Draco. He had always imagined himself under Harry and was pleased that Harry had the same desire. He never felt empty when he and the other boy made love, Harry filled him perfectly and he didn't care if their relationship was secret. They were in love.
You know how the time flies
Only yesterday it was the time of our lives
We were born and raised
In a summer haze
Bound by the surprise of our glory days
But then war came. And Draco's father began pushing him to receive the mark, terrified, he found Harry becoming distant in a time when Draco needed him most. Without support or hope Draco had been swept up in expectation, in over his head in something he couldn't possibly hope to overcome alone. At the time, it was easier to obey his father. Because Harry… Well he knew now that Harry had always expected him to become a Death Eater, and instead of offering him a way out he avoided Draco because of the inevitable. War was full blown now and when school ended for the year Harry said goodbye.
That summer Draco took the mark.
But it was nothing like Draco had imagined, tortured on a regular basis by Cruciatis and jeering taunts he left his family behind to stay at Spinner's end. Severus was long dead, killed for being a spy and Draco felt the ache as he looked over his God father's things. He felt himself desperately missing Harry. Needing him like he never needed anyone. He fell asleep to the emptiness of Dreamless Sleep.
That morning he was woken up by shouts and a wand in his face, following by an angry freckled face. Weasley. And he could hear granger too, in the background, trying to talk him out of hexing Draco where he lay. He was too disorientated to react to he lay there, hands up in a defeated gesture and waiting for whatever would happen to happen.
He heard a soft familiar rumble of a voice behind Weasley and his heart jumped into his throat.
"Malfoy, what are you doing here?" Harry questioned sternly, his wand replacing Weasley's at his throat.
"I-I… Hiding." Draco said flatly his eyes closing as he felt his heart ache at being addressed for coldly by the man he longed to touch.
"From who?" Harry demanded, his eyes ablaze with some emotion Draco couldn't see.
"My family… the Dark Lord… Everyone." He swallowed the lump in his throat as his eyes pricked.
"Harry lets tie him up and apparate him to the ministry…" Weasley began but Harry looked at him sharply.
"We'll keep an eye on him. But we're exhausted, lets stay the night." The other agreed with stilted nods and exchanged a glance.
I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over, yeah.
They took turns watching him and sleeping, and finally Harry told Weasley to go sleep and he'd finish up the night. Draco felt his heart thump irregularly as he stared up at the ceiling, unable to sleep with the tense atmosphere.
"What are you /really/ here for, Malfoy?" the sting of coldness again.
"I was telling the truth, /Potter/. Severus is dead.. he was the only one who tried to protect me from.. well.. and now.. This is my only hope to be safe.. And even now.. I know where you'll take me. I know I'm marked for life." His voice was thick towards the end, the thought of those once tender hands forcefully handing him over to the ministry.
His heart throbbed along with the ugly mark on his arm, and he knew he was useless, worthless, scum.. How could the golden boy love something like him? It wasn't possible.
"Snape deserved to die. And so does every deatheater. " with those last cutting words Harry turned from him and stared out at the wall.
Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
"I'll remember", you said,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead.
The morning came with Granger alerting the boys to an attack, she was scouting the area, planning to cast wards when she saw bounty hunters on the move. They gathered their things in a whirlwind but it wasn't enough and the hunters were at the door. Draco stood and pulled his wand from out of Harry's back pocket
"Hey-!" the black haired boy began to shout but the blond, blazing determination in his eyes strode passed him.
"Move!" he flinched only a bit as the hunters burst through the door, and Draco had his wand ready, "Harry, run! The back! Crucio!" He shot the first man down and turned his back to Harry, hoping to Merlin he'd run.
"Draco!" He didn't see Harry stop and look at Draco in complete shock, a spark flaring in his eyes before Granger and Weasley drug him out the back.
Draco cut down as many as he could but he swore loudly as a cutting curse caught his left knee and he fell with a harsh thud. His grey eyes squeezed shut and he hoped the Trio were long gone, before he was hit with another curse and everything was black.
Nothing compares
No worries or cares
Regrets and mistakes
They are memories made.
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?
He spent half a year in Azkaban after that, awaiting a proper trial and witnesses. When the war ended he was surprised to find Harry ready to testify for him. And it was Harry who had him released. That was his thank you, he never spoke another word directly to him, and besides newspapers and pictures... Draco never saw Harry again for the next four and a half years.
Now, seeing him at his desk, seemingly in his own world, and so oblivious to Draco's swirling thoughts… He knew with heartbreaking certainty that the past never meant anything. This thought, the harsh reality, bulldozed the last light from his eyes.
"Well... That is all I came to say. I will be on my way now, very busy."
The man across from him didn't respond until Draco stood from his chair, then he startled and looked at him again.
"Oh, right. Yeah. Erm.. Well it was good seeing you. Let me walk you to the door."
"Don't trouble yourself, surely your dear wife is waiting for you." He pulled his coat tighter around himself and turned on his heel, exiting the room and striding with even steps to the front entrance. Just a little farther. Just reach that door Draco. .just...
He had expected Harry to follow him, to insist he allow him to see him out. But, like all expectations in Draco's life, it never happened.
Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
"I'll remember", you said,
Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead.
The moment his feet hit the sidewalk he apparated back into his flat, falling to his knees and pounded the floor with his fists, a hiss of anguish escaping harshly through his teeth. The picture of the man's smiling face wouldn't leave his mind, and his body ached with old heartbreak and new. He regretted and cherished his visit. The tearing open of old wounds, but the closure to heal them up. It gave him hope.. that maybe now he wouldn't wait for the day Harry would come back to him. Now he could move on. Maybe.. maybe be happy.
Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
"I'll remember", you said,
He undressed slowly and forced himself into his bed, curling into a tight ball. The numbness he had felt for 5 years was gone, emotion, strong and throbbing flowed through his body with an intensity he hadn't felt since he was at Hogwarts. He gripped his sheets hard in his hands and pulled, bunching them into a ball at his chest and holding it tight, as if a lover.
"I'll... I'll find someone like you..."
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead.
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead.