A/N: Ryan and Marissa fic. Minor appearances by SS and SK. Read the summary at the start. I know the Model Home mix would have been destroyed but it fitted here so lets just imagine it wasn't burned.
Summary- Ryan and Marissa sated for the rest of high school and throughout the first year of college. They went to the same college as Seth and Summer, who had stayed strong as a couple and are still together. At the start of their second year Ryan and Marissa broke up and decided to try the "friends" thing, mainly for Seth and Summer's sake. During the first year of college the four had been as tight as they were in high school but this changed when in their second year. They all still hung out but it wasn't the same cause Ryan and Marissa weren't together.
It's now February of their second year and the four are all going out for Valentines (but Ryan and Marissa aren't together).
Ryan and Seth's Dorm
Ryan and Marissa are hanging out after Seth and Summer left to go back to Summer and Marissa's dorm.
Ryan asked," So where are we going tonight?"
"I dunno," replied Marissa, "Seth said something about ...actually I don't know what he said! He just kinda mumbled something. You know what Seth is like!" she added.
"Yeah," agreed Ryan, laughing.
"Well... I THINK we're supposed to meet them over at our room. You coming?"
"Uh...no...I'll catch you up...just gotta, um...change."
"Okay. See you in a few minutes then?" she said.
"Definitely."
Marissa walked out the door with a look of relief on her face. Ryan closed the door behind her and slumped against it, his face also wearing a look of relief-just like Marissa.
Ryan's POV: I didn't think it would be this hard. First Valentines without Marissa. You blew it again Atwood. The only girl you ever really cared about and you lost her. Idiot.
Marissa's POV: This is harder than I thought it would be. I thought I'd gotten over him. "Evidently not the case Marissa," she told herself, "You agreed to be friends."
Meanwhile Seth had left Summer and was heading back to his own room. He was walking down the hallway when he saw Marissa coming towards him with a confused look on her face.
"Hey Marissa!" He said.
Marissa walked on, not even noticing there was someone else in the hall, let alone noticing it was Seth.
Seth shrugged it off and continued down to his room. As he walked he pulled out his keys, complete with Superman keyring. He was still the same Seth Cohen-he hadn't changed- still loved comics and sailing.
He turned the key and pushed the door. It didn't budge. He looked at the door in confusion and then he threw his whole weight against it. Needless to say the door didn't move. Like I said before he was still the same Seth Cohen he had been in high school and that included weak.
Ryan, who had still been slumped against the door was shaken out of his thoughts about Marissa by a loud thud from the other side of the door. He quickly stood up and opened the door to find Seth standing rubbing his shoulder as if in pain. Ryan stepped out into the hall.
"What are you doing?"
"Well Ryan, I thought it would be fun to throw myself at a door," replied Seth sarcastically.
Seth pushed past Ryan into the room and collapsed into his bed. He picked up the latest issue of Legion and proceeded to read it until he realised Ryan was still in the hall. He walked over to the door and stuck his head out. Seth noticed the look on Ryan's face and knew what he was thinking about. He had seen that look enough during their junior year of high school.
"Ryan?"
No response.
"Ryan?" he said again, a little louder.
No response
"RYAN!?!" he shouted in his brothers ear.
"Geez Seth, there's no need to shout! What!?!" he asked snappily.
Seth threw him a look and then asked, "I thought you guys were just friends?"
"Who?"
"Don't give me that. You know who!"
"Marissa. Yeah Seth we're friends and have been for like six months. Did you hit your head as well as your shoulder?!?" he asked getting slowly pissed at Seth.
"Dude you have Marissa face." Seth states, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.
Ryan looks up. "I'm confused."
"Marissa leaves looking...weird, and I come back here and you're doing the silent brooding thing." Seth explained. "Did you guys have a fight?" Seth asked.
"No." Ryan moved back into the room toward the bathroom but Seth wasn't giving up so easily.
"Hey man, come on-open up- what's wrong?"
"Nothing!" Ryan said. He looked up at Seth and after seeing the look he knew the one word answers weren't gonna work. "It's just weird. Me and Marissa, first Valentines in a couple of years we haven't been together." A looked of sadness flashed over Ryan's face and Seth noticed, even though Ryan tried to hide it.
"So just ask her out," Seth said, as if it was the most natural thing in the world.
"I can't. We both agreed to be 'just friends.'"
"Yes. An agreement which is now making you miserable."
Ryan paused for a second before walking off to the bathroom.
Ryan's POV: "Maybe I should tell her. What have I got to lose? Seth's right-amazing as that is- but I'm gonna be miserable if I don't tell her. But what if she can't even be friends after?" he thought worriedly. A small voice crept into the back of his head, "But what if she can be more?"
Ryan smiled as he thought of what it would be like to be back together with Marissa. What it would be like to be able to hold her again, kiss her, call her his girlfriend.
He decided he was going to talk to Marissa tonight. He quickly showered and changed and was soon leaving. Seth who had been engrossed in the latest issue of Legion looked up when he heard the door slam shut behind Ryan.
"Good Luck buddy!" he called, but Ryan didn't hear him, he was already at the far end of the hall.
Ryan practically ran across campus to Summer and Marissa's dorm. He took the stairs to the fourth floor, hoping to burn off some of the nervous energy. He reached their door and found himself frozen.
"Come on! You can do this." He knocked on the door quickly so he had less time to change his mind.
Marissa answered the door. "Hey!" she said nervously. "What's up?" she said, now regaining her composure and smiling brightly at Ryan.
Marissa's POV: "Oh God what is he doing here. It's bad enough having to go out tonight with him. It's gonna be hard."
Ryan licked his lips and stuttered "Eh...um...I was thinking and... can I come in?"
"Sure. Sum's not here," she said standing back to let him in.
"Good," he muttered.
"What?"
"Oh em...nothing. Look Marissa I have to talk to you. I really have to say this." Ryan went silent until Marissa spoke up, "Yeah?"
"Look, I don't talk a lot about...stuff but just listen. I don't know why we broke up but we were together for a long time. I haven't been totally happy since we broke up." Marissa opened her mouth as if to say something but he cut her off, "No wait I have to say this. Marissa I ...I know we agreed to just be friends but I can't anymore... I can't be 'just a friend.' Marissa.... I love you!" he finished in a rush. "It's all or nothing. I'm sorry," he added quietly.
He looked down at the floor, not knowing what to say. Eventually he risked a look up at Marissa. Her eyes where filled with tears and Ryan quickly started backing towards the door, wanting to get away from the silence that filled the room and the tears that filled her eyes. "I'm sorry Marissa, I guess I should... just... leave," he said softly.
He paused at the door and risked a look back. She was still standing in the same spot he had left her. He suddenly realised what he had lost and he wondered if the price had been too high. He turned away but a moment later he felt a light touch on his arm. He stopped and turned around, only to be greeted with Marissa's lips crashing against his. He was shocked but soon realised what was happening. He grabbed Marissa by the waist and kissed her passionately. She broke away and stepped back from Ryan. She turned away and Ryan's heart dropped.
"She doesn't feel the same," he thought, "but...the kiss..." Ryan was confused.
Marissa closed the door and slowly turned around. She put her arms around his neck and whispered softly in his ear, "I guess I'll take the 'all' then. I love you too."
Ryan opened the door to his and Seth's dorm room and flopped down on his bed, ignoring Seth. Seth had actually fallen asleep but the sound of the door opening had woken him up. He pretended not to be interested but soon gave up his attempt and he looked over at Ryan who was staring blankly at the ceiling.
"How'd it go?" he asked.
Silence.
"Dude, I'm sorry. OK so I guess you wanna be alone so I'm just gonna..." he motioned to the door. Ryan didn't even acknowledge him. "Meet Summer," he finished quietly.
Silence.
Seth reached the door and with a last look of concern at Ryan he left. As soon as Ryan heard the door close a huge smile broke out on Ryan's face.
Summer and Marissa room
Marissa's lying on her bed when there is a knock at the door. Seth. Summer rushes out of the bathroom and opens the door. She grabbed her bag and turned to Marissa, "Are you sure you don't want to come?" she asked.
"No Sum you guys go on. I'll just hang out here."
"OK then. Feel better," called Summer as she left, pushing Seth out the door in front of her.
As soon as the door closes a huge smile breaks out on Marissa's face.
Seth and Summer were walking out of the building when Seth spoke up.
"I thought Marissa was coming?"
"No. She said she's sick but..." Summer trailed off.
"Summer?" said Seth questionably.
"I saw Ryan leaving our room earlier and when I got back Marissa was acting like...that!" Summer said, gesturing back toward the building.
"Yes." Said Seth, very suspiciously.
"Cohen! What do you know?" demanded Summer.
"Nothing!" Summer hit Seth with her bag.
"OWW! Summer! Fine! Ryan still loves Marissa and he went over there today to tell her. Judging from the looks on their faces it didn't go exactly as he had hoped."
Summer looked at Seth with amazement, "Cohen, did you not think that I would need to know this?"
"No."
"God Cohen!" exclaimed Summer, exasperated.
Marissa's POV: "What do I wear? God not that! Your going on a date for god's sakes! ...with Ryan." Marissa sat down on the edge of her bed and smiled. She hadn't smiled like that in months. She looked up again at the pile of clothes and immediately saw the perfect outfit.
The knock on the door came sooner than she'd expected. She looked at the clock and couldn't believe that it was already nine. She opened the door and moved back. Ryan stepped in and looked at Marissa.
"Uh...you look...wow... " Marissa smiled happily. She knew he would like the outfit. He had picked it. It wasn't fancy but she knew he would like it.
"Should we go?"
"Yeah. eh...do you want to go to that party with Seth and Summer?" he asked, praying that she would say no.
"I don't mind." She thought for a minute. "Actually..." She saw a look of panic and disappointment in his eyes. "Actually, do you mind if we don't?" She saw the relief on his face and smiled.
"Great. I planned something else, I mean if that's ok?" he said, suddenly nervous. "It's not much and it's not very romantic or anything but..." he stopped when he felt Marissa take his hand.
"It'll be great." She said softly. She didn't care what it was as long as she was with Ryan.
When they got to the car he opened the door for her and she got in. When he started the car familiar music started drifting through the speakers. She recognized the song. It was the song that was playing all those years ago in the abandoned Model Home when Ryan had said they were from two different worlds. As the CD continued she realised it was the CD that she had made for Ryan. It was The Model Home Mix. She smiled as the music continued to play.
"What?" Marissa looked up to see Ryan smiling over at her. She pointed to the CD player.
"It's my favourite CD," he explained, not realising she knew what it was.
"A little bit of everything." She said.
Ryan looked amazed, "You remember?"
"Of course. This song reminds me of you," she said as Hallelujah started to drift through the speakers again. Ryan did the cute little half smile and reached across to take her hand in his.
"So where are we going?" she asked.
"You'll see. I mean it's nowhere fancy or anything..." he said, suddenly getting nervous again. "It just reminded me of you, well of us." He said sweetly.
Marissa smiled and stared at Ryan as he concentrated on driving. "Hey, quit it!" he said, laughing.
"Sorry, I can't help it," She said quietly. He smiled, "I don't mind."
Ryan pulled off the road and held up a blindfold. "Put this on."
"What! No way!" said Marissa laughing.
"OK then, no surprise!" said Ryan, pretending to turn the car round.
"Fine!" said Marissa, pretending to look annoyed.
"I know you're excited so don't even try that look on me!" said Ryan, blues eyes sparkling as he smiled at Marissa.
"Yep."
Ryan lifted Marissa and set her down on a seat. She felt him sit down beside her. She felt the seat lurch forward and then she felt Ryan remove the blindfold. She opened her eyes and realized she was on a Ferris wheel. She suddenly recognized all those smells and remembered her first kiss with Ryan...on the Ferris wheel. She smiled at the memory and looked over at Ryan.
"Marissa, I...want this, us to work, and...." He paused. "Oh god," he said in a whisper. Marissa suddenly remembered he was afraid of heights and she realised that he had gotten on a Ferris wheel for her. "I nearly lost you." He opened his eyes and stared straight into hers. "I never want that to happen again." He glanced down and suddenly shut his eyes.
"Maybe you just need something to take your mind off it."
Ryan smiled. She knew he remembered. She leaned over and kissed him softly. He kissed her back and then broke away. "Marissa, I love you."
"I love you too."
They had reached the bottom of the Ferris wheel again. Ryan looked over and Marissa and then, smiling, said to the attendant, "One more time." He leaned back over to Marissa and kissed her. They were both happy again.
Ryan pulled the car up, outside his and Seth's dorm building. He opened the door for Marissa and she got out. They walked in and up to Ryan's room. Ryan smiled and unlocked the door. Marissa looked at him as he unlocked the door and stood back to let her in first. When she walked into the room she gasped. There were white fairy lights strung around the room and they were roses on every surface, even rose petals across the floor. There was a table set for two, complete with candles. Marissa looked at Ryan, tears filling her eyes.
"You did this for me?"
"Of course. You're worth every last bit and more." She smiled through the tears. Ryan had never been a talker and she was surprised he had said something so romantic. She walked over to where he stood and put her arms around his neck.
"Thank you." She said softly and then she leaned in to kiss him. Just as she leaned in the door burst open and Seth and Summer tumbled into the room, both laughing. They stopped dead when they saw Marissa standing in front of them with her arms wrapped around Ryan. Ryan and Marissa suddenly moved and the two jumped apart, looking extremely embarrassed.
"Hey guys! What's up?" Seth asked in true Seth Cohen style.
"Nothing!" came the reply from the two.
"Oh, okay." Seth and Summer stood there stupidly until Seth caught a look from Ryan that said quite plainly "Get out of here now or I will kick your ass!"
Seth took the hint and said, "Yes, well I think we will be leaving now." At that he grabbed Summer by the elbow and dragged her out of the room. Ryan and Marissa looked up at each other.
"Seth always has to ruin the moment," said Ryan, remembering the countless dates Seth had interrupted at the poolhouse back home.
"Yeah he does." Marissa moved slowly closer to Ryan and said, "Now where were we?" before kissing him. He kissed her back and the kiss became more and more passionate until it became a long and heavy makeout session.
Summer and Seth are walking over to Summer's room.
"Well that was...em....awkward," said Seth.
"Yeah," agreed Summer, "I can't believe Coop didn't tell me."
"Hey, don't feel so bad. Ryan didn't tell me either."
Seth's comment was greeted by a look from Summer, "Yeah but he's ...Chino! He doesn't tell anyone anything!"
Seth thought about what Summer had said but in the end he had to agree with her. "Yeah, you're right. Your place I take it?"
"I guess so."
"What the hell?" he said loudly forgetting that the hair belonged to Marissa. She looked up at Ryan and a smile broke out on his face. He remembered their date last night and he kissed her softly on the lips, "Hey, good morning."
"Very," replied Marissa. She sat up so and moved off of Ryan so he could get up.
"Did you have a good time last night?" he asked as he sat up.
She leaned in so her face was close to his. "Best." she kissed him. "Date." She kissed him again. "Ever." She kissed him a third time and smiled.
"I seem to be pretty good at these dates," he said, his blue eyes sparkling as he remembered their 'first date' back in the poolhouse when she said the exact same thing.
"Yes you are," she agreed, thinking of the exact same thing.
Since it was a Saturday neither of them had any classes. They sat together on the couch, Marissa's head lying on Ryan's chest. They sat like this for a while, in silence just happy that they were together again. Then there wasa knock at the door. Ryan got up to answer the door. He opened it to find Seth standing with his hands over his eyes.
"Seth?"
"I'm just gonna get some stuff and then I'll leave you to ...whatever."
"Seth your gonna have to open your eyes," said Ryan smirking as Seth entered the room.
"No need! I know this place like the back of my hand!" Just as he said this he walked into the back of the couch and fell over it onto Marissa.
"Seth!" she shouted.
Seth was forced to open his eyes. He looked horrified but after seeing Marissa and Ryan were fully clothed he relaxed but when they started laughing at him he became indignant.
"Hey! I have a right to be scared! It wouldn't be the first time I walked in on you! And anyway, when did this happen?" He asked waving an accusing finger between Ryan and Marissa. The two looked at each other and when Seth realised he was no longer had any hope of getting an answer he stalked off toward the bathroom. Ryan and Marissa were shaken out of their staring when they heard the bathroom door slam.
"Do you want something to eat?" asked Ryan.
"Sure."
Ryan stared into the fridge. Marissa looked over his shoulder and laughed. "I guess we're going out to eat?"
"I think we're gonna have to!"
Ryan grabbed his wallet and him and Marissa walked out the door. "What do you want to do today?"
"Oh! Shit! I forgot, I'm supposed to have lunch at home today. I forgot. Do you want to come?"
"Is that okay? I mean, are Sandy and Kirsten are cool with it?" she asked.
"Well, Seth's bringing Summer so why can't I bring my girlfriend?"
"Girlfriend?" asked Marissa, "I like the sound of that!"
"Me too," replied Ryan as he leaned in to kiss her. After they ate Ryan walked Marissa back to her room.
"So I'll pick you up in an hour?" he asked. "Great!" Their goodbye kiss lasted about five minutes and Marissa eventually broke away. "I gotta go get ready!" she said. "Fine," said Ryan wistfully. He leaned in for a kiss. After a few minutes Marissa pushed him away, laughing. "GO!" she commanded. Ryan smiled and waited til she went inside before leaving.
On the way back to his room Ryan pulled out his phone and scrolled down to HOME. It no longer felt weird for him to call the Cohen house that. It was more of a home for him than Chino ever had been.
"Hey Sandy."
"Ryan, hi, what's up?"
"Lunch," Ryan said simply.
"Don't worry! I'm cooking!" Ryan laughed. He'd rather starve than try to eat Kirsten's cooking but he'd never tell her that.
"I was just wondering if it was OK if I brought a...friend?"
"Of course! Might I ask who?"
"Em... Marissa," said Ryan.
"Ah yes! The 'friend!'" said Sandy. Ryan had figured he would've known since Seth and Summer knew but he obviously didn't so Ryan decided not to say anything. They would find out soon enough he thought to himself.
"That's fine. You don't have to ask you know."
"Well, as long as one of us knows what manners are!" laughed Ryan. Then he added rather quietly, "Will Julie and Caleb be there?"
Sandy was now laughing at him, not with him. "In my house? I think not!"
"Just checking! So we'll see you guys in about two hours then."
"OK. Bye son."
"Bye Sandy."
45 minutes later Ryan knocked on Marissa's door. The door opened and he walked in and shut the door. He felt arms slide around his waist from behind and light kisses on his neck. He turned to face Marissa (obviously!). Marissa smiled back but Ryan could tell she was uneasy about something. And he knew what.
"She's not coming." He could see Marissa relax before his eyes. He was of course referring to Julie. Marissa hadn't spoken to her in two and a half years. Julie had tried to have Marissa put in an institution twice during senior year and if it hadn't been for Jimmy she would have succeeded. "Thank God!! Let's go!"
"What? You mean you're actually ready?" he asked, a look of amazement on his face. The look soon disappeared when he caught sight of Marissa's face.
"OK, em... lets just go." He hurried out the door.
"You had better run!" Marissa shouted playfully behind him.
"Do they know, about us?"
"No," said Ryan as they made their way to the front door. "Don't worry they'll find out soon enough."
"When?"
Ryan heard someone approaching the door from the inside. He slipped his arm around Marissa's waist and whispered in her ear, "Now."
Sandy opened the door. He looked at his watch and his jaw dropped a little bit. They were actually on time! Ryan smiled a little. Then Sandy noticed Ryan's arm around Marissa's waist and his jaw dropped all the way to the floor. He looked at Ryan and Marissa who were both wearing broad smiles. He finally realised what he must looked like and he closed his mouth and stepped back to let them in. Marissa and Ryan walked in and Sandy gave them both warm hugs.
"Marissa how are you? It's good to see you."
"You too Sandy. I'm great thanks," she said, smiling slightly at Ryan. "How are you?"
"Well, I'm out twenty bucks but otherwise...I'm great!" he said. Ryan and Marissa looked at him confused. "I bet Kirsttin twenty dollars that Seth and Summer would get here before you two. You guys always used to be late," he explained. Ryan and Marissa just laughed. "Sorry."
"Ryan, good to see you son."
"You too Sandy. It's good to be home again."
Just then Seth and Summer pulled up and walked in the door.
"Hey guys!" said Ryan and Marissa.
"They speak!?!" said Seth, feigning shock, referring back to that morning. Ryan and Marissa just rolled their eyes and went into the kitchen to see Kirstin. Several hours later.
"Guys we should probably be heading back soon." Sandy and Kirstin looked disappointed. They missed having their sons around the house. They had been gone nearly two years but it still didn't feel right without them at home. "Or you could stay the night?" suggested Sandy. Kirstin brightened at the suggestion. Ryan and Seth looked at Marissa and Summer and after receiving no objections the boys agreed. Later that night when everyone was starting to feel tired Seth suddenly suggested Playstation. After seeing the look on Summer's face he quickly added "Maybe tomorrow."
"Marissa, I'll just go and make up the guest room for you." She assumed Seth and Summer would be in Seth's room and Ryan would be in the poolhouse.
"No, Kirstin, it's fine, I'll just stay in the poolhouse. I mean if that's OK?" Kirstin's eyes widened and Seth, Summer and Sandy rolled their eyes. Ryan and Marissa smiled slightly at her reaction. None of them could see how she had missed Ryan and Marissa's not-so-subtle glances at the dining room table and the way they were practically sitiing on top of each other on the sofa.
"Sure kid," said Sandy when he realised Kirstin was still unable to speak.
"Night," said Ryan and Marissa and the others watched as the two left through the patio doors in the living room out into the back garden. As they went up the steps Marissa stumbled slightly. Ryan caught her and carried her over to one of the loungers by the pool. He sat down and she kissed him before leaning her back up against him. They stared out towards the ocean.
Summer broke the silence inside the house by saying goodnight and walking up the stairs, Seth close behind.
Sandy and Kirstin smiled as they saw both their boys happy, each with the girl they loved. Kirstin looked out again at the pool and smiled as Ryan leaned up to say something to Marissa. A few minutes later the two got up and headed towards the pool house.
Ryan walked into the poolhouse and Marissa followed behind him. He flopped down on the bed and laughed at Kirstin's reaction. Marissa came and lay down on the bed beside him. She watched him as he rambled on about something.
"Ryan?"
"Yeah?"
"You're rambling. You're getting like Seth."
"One Seth is bad enough. You had better shut me up," said Ryan, smiling mischievously.
"Gladly!" She leaned in and kissed him. Ryan put his arms around her and pulled her closer. As their kisses got more passionate Ryan's hand started to move up Marissa's shirt. When Marissa didn't stop him he continued to undo her shirt. She pulled off his shirt and tugged at his trademark wifebeater. Ryan smiled and leaned over to turn off the light. A few hours later Ryan lay on the bed in the poolhouse watching Marissa sleep.
"I can't believe I almost lost her. That'll never happen again. I've got her now and forever," he thought to himself.
Ryan lay awake for hours watching Marissa sleep peacefully beside him. Her head was rested on his chest and he leant down and gave her a gentle kiss before drifting off to sleep himself thinking about the future...their future...his and Marissa's. He liked the thought of that and he finally fell asleep with a smile on his face.
THE END
A/N: Reviews would be much appreciated! Thanks!