Opposites Attract
By: Holly Ann Leighton
Disclaimer: I do not own anything that has to do with Dawson's Creek or the song "Opposites Attract" by Paula Abdul.
Rating: PG-13
Category: D/J Parody
Distribution: Anywhere as long as you email me first.
Feedback: Yes! Please! HAL_095@hotmail.com
Dedication: *Sits and thinks of someone I haven't dedicated to yet* Katy! You are the queen of parodies and a great friend. This "first" attempt at a parody is for you, sweetie. :) Don't take it personally because it sucks, k? LOL
Note: I just recently heard this old song again and thought of D/J. My reasoning for this story? I'm slowly converting to the P/J side. *vomits* This whole thing is called a *Parody* for a reason, okay? This is all in the name of fun and I take some shots at DC, as a whole and Joey and Dawson, personally. So PLEASE, PLEASE, D/J fans don't hate me, okay? :) Hope you all think this is funny! Feedback, good or bad is important because I don't think this thing is any good.
Summary: After each part of the song, there are examples of why Dawson and Joey are not compatible in that area.
Baby seems we never ever agree
You like the movies
And I like T.V.
Example #1- Dawson loves the movies and Joey, doesn't like movies, except for E.T. Dawson hasn't stayed with any girl who didn't have his passion. Coincidence or intentional?
I take things serious
And you take them'em light
Example #2- Everyone on DC takes things too seriously, so they actually have something in common there, *if* they don't die from stress related heart attacks by the time they are in their 30's.
I go to bed early
And I party all night
Example #3- I did field research on this one because I didn't know who would fit which description, but basically it seems that Dawson is the party animal between him and Joey. This is seen during his 16th birthday party and then the party he had to raise money to fix the boat. Pacey convinces Dawson to "cut loose" and he goes along with it, while (stuck up) Joey doesn't like to and proceeds to deter Dawson from participating in anything either. I guess if she's not having any fun, she doesn't want anyone else to either.
Our friends are sayin'
We ain't gonna last
Cuz I move slowly
And baby I'm fast
Example #4- Well it appears that Joey is the fast one because she threw herself at Dawson after saying she never wanted to know him and Dawson is the slow one because he rejected Amber, Jen, Joey, AND Eve! What guy does that anyway? Possibly, maybe a gay one?
I like it quiet
And I love to shout
Example #5- From the examples of the show, Joey is the quieter one of the two, using hurtful words and looks that could kill when upset. Dawson has shouted after Joey from his room, two or three times and he has thrown punches at Jack and Pacey.
But when we get to together
It just all works out
Example #6- Actually when they get together, they are either fighting or making out with each other. Oh, wait, I think they have been becoming friends lately, right? That will change now that Pacey has kissed Joey, so forget that hope…
I take 2 steps forward
I take 2 steps back
We come together
Cuz opposites attract
And you know it ain't fiction
Just a natural fact
We come together
Cuz opposites attract
Example #7- This part can go so many ways, where oh where should I start? When Dawson is happy, Joey is upset and when Joey is happy, Dawson is upset. The only way these two can think in sync is in fanfiction and that *is* a natural fact.
Who'd have thought we would be lovers?
She makes the bed
And he steals the covers
Example #8- Well because of the wonderful world of DC, we aren't seeing any *real* sex at all on the show. So, we can't prove anything about what they are like in bed. My feelings on it though? Dawson would be hot as hell and Joey would be…well, Joey, with leather straps and Crisco. Just the thought of that is disgusting! *Shudders in thought*
She likes it neat
And he makes a mess
Example #9- Dawson's room is always neat. Joey's room isn't actually her bedroom, I don't think and the times that we have seen it, it has been messy because of the baby and Bessie. Could this be a sign of times to come when Joey has kids and/or is living with Dawson?
I take it easy
Baby I get obsessed
Example #10- Can you even *not* use the words obsessed and Dawson Leery in the same sentence? Lately I guess he hasn't been, but normally it is with his video camera and movies. Although…Joey doesn't take ANYTHING easy, so this one's a tossup.
She's got the money
And he's always broke
Example #11- Joey works her butt off 24/7 to make what little money she gets. Does she even get any now with the B&B? Probably not. And she has worked for slime ball, Rob. Dawson's world crashed around him when his dad "punished" him and made him go work at his mom's restaurant. I rest my case.
I don't like cigarettes
And I like to smoke
Example #12- For some reason, none of the DC'ers smoke, even though they can all drink when they aren't old enough to do that either. Must be something that KW doesn't like. So we can't be to sure about this one, but I have heard that it looks like Joey is smoking in an episode of season one, so, who knows?
Things in common
Just ain't a one
But when we get together
We have nothing but fun
Example #13- Do Dawson and Joey know what the meaning of fun is? I think I have seen them have fun in maybe one or two episodes? Not really sure, to be honest. I think it was more like one or two moments.
Baby ain't it somethin'
How we lasted this long
Example #14- Well, they lasted long by television standards. They were together and then Joey dumped Dawson to find herself, then they got back together for 3 shows, then Joey dumped Dawson again and then after the summer, Joey threw herself at Dawson only to have him reject her. Do we see a pattern here?
You and me
Proven everyone wrong
Don't think we'll ever
Get our differences patched
Don't really matter
Cuz we're perfectly matched
Example #15- Do I even need to touch this with an explanation? Pacey thought they belonged together until he fell in love with Joey, Gale thinks of Joey as the daughter she never had, and Grams thinks that the two of them need some religious influences. Only Bessie seems to think that Dawson and Joey are destined together now, but that will change if Joey falls in love with Pacey. So, it seems that no one thinks they belong together except the handful of fans they have and we all *know* how well the DC writers pay attention to what the fans want, right?
The End