HTTYD Characters react to the anon reviewers on FFN.
Hiccup scrolled through the FFN app displayed on his flatscreen for all to see. He and the gang had been reading some HTTYD fanfiction together and most of them had turned out to be pretty cringeworthy. Now had they decided to check out the reviews for some of the fanfics. Little did they know, the reviews were far more embarrassing.
First they encountered the overdramatic Guest #1.
Guest #1: I'm a HUGE Hiccstrid shipper BUT this is the ULTIMATE betrayal, Hiccup and Astrid should never be together after this! What Hiccup did, lying to Astrid about his cat, is UNFORGIVABLE. They need to get divorced pronto. And if Astrid is pregnant, Hiccup should NOT be allowed to see the kids. She should get a restraining order against him.
Hiccup blinked at the screen, sharing a mortified look with Astrid before they both burst out laughing.
"I hope no one ever offends this person in real life," Ruffnut interjected. "Talk about being butthurt!"
"That dude needs to chill," Snotlout agreed.
The second review they saw was from the idealist Guest #2.
Guest #2: I love the symbolism, theme and message behind this. I think this story has changed my own outlook on life. Thank you so much for showing me what it means to love your cat.
"That's really deep," Tuffnut commented. "I can sort of relate."
The third anonymous review was from a person that calls themselves MMM.
MMM: Is Hiccup going to find a new love? Is Hiccup going to love his new love? Is Astrid going to be jealous? Will Hiccup choose Astrid or his new love? Is Hiccup and his new love going to live happily ever after? Is Hiccup going to be with this OC, Camicazi, Anna, Elsa, Mala, Ruffnut, Heather, Merida, female!Human Toothless, female person? Is Astrid going to be with Eret?
Hiccup scrunched up his nose in disdain. "Is this person for real?" he said with a grimace. "The only girl for me is Astrid."
Astrid balled up her fists. "I think this person needs a punch to their face."
"I will punch them for you," Heather chimed in, rolling up her sleeves.
"Me too," Ruffnut agreed, grabbing her spear.
"Me three!" Tuffnut decided to join in with a waving Macy. "Wait, what are we talking about?"
Ruffnut rolled her eyes. "This 'MMM' person who wants so desperately for Hiccup to have a new love and take him away from Astrid."
"I mean, I can kinda see Hiccup with Camicazi," Snotlout said with a shrug.
Hiccup facepalmed and put a calming hand on Astrid's shoulder. "I want Astrid and only Astrid."
"But in the HTTYD books you and Cami-"
"No!" Hiccup held up a hand. "That's.. a different me."
"That might be a different you but your taste in women is exactly the same. Warrior girls with golden hair and blue eyes," Fishlegs noted. "I doubt that's a coincidence."
Hiccup blushed. "Um, well.." he trailed off awkwardly.
Astrid rolled her eyes. "Let us move on," she suggested and took Hiccup's hand in hers, shooting him a reassuring smile.
The fourth anonymous review was from the modern AU hating Guest #3.
Guest #3: Fuck you! Go to hell! I HATE MODERN AUS! Put modern au in the beginning of the summary so I don't have to read the whole summary! I hate u
Snotlout started chortling while everyone else tried to comprehend what they just read.
Hiccup scratched his head. "Does it really take that long to read a summary?"
"Maybe their reading skills are as undeveloped as Snotlout's?"
Snotlout huffed. "Hey! I can read! I know how to- ugh nevermind!"
"What I don't get is why they sound so angry all the time, as if someone owes them something," Fishlegs mused. "I mean don't people write during their downtime for free? What right does this person have to make any sort of demands?"
Everyone shook their head in agreement.
Next was an anonymous individual that referred himself as 'Noctus Fury'. Heather visibly shuddered in disgust. "Ew."
Noctus Fury: I'm a HUGE Hiccstrid shipper but can you please write Heathercup? It is such an underrated OTP of mine! I don't understand why no one likes it. Please write Heatheret (Heather and Eret), I never see anyone write it but never write Erestrid. Eret and Astrid don't like each other in that way and it disrespects the characters. Can you please write Mala and Hiccup?
"What a moron," Ruffnut shook her head. "What makes him think Hiccup and Heather or Hiccup and Mala like each other in that way?"
Hiccup grimaced. "I think this one might be mentally challenged or something," he muttered. "Apparently I can't be nice to people just for the courtesy of being nice."
"Why is it so hard for this guy to accept that I have actually never been interested in Hiccup like that? I see him as a brother and friend, that's it!" Heather spat, offended. "Heck, I would rather date Astrid."
She and Astrid fist-bumped.
"Oh and what about me?" Eret chuckled from next to her.
Heather blushed. "We are.. um.. not supposed to talk about you and me yet."
"Yeah, spoilers, much?" Tuffnut huffed.
Fishlegs averted his gaze, looking sad suddenly. Heather took his hand in hers to comfort him.
The next reviewer was much the same as the previous one and called themselves 'Eret fan'.
Eret fan: Can you please write Erestrid? Eret deserves to be happy too and Hiccup is a coward who runs away from his problems. I'm so tired of Eret never being done justice. Erestrid is such an underrated OTP of mine!
Astrid scowled, fighting the urge to throw up. "Ugh! Do these muttonheads even know what OTP means?"
"Wait, what does it mean?" Tuffnut asked.
"OTP stands for One True Pairing. It means that these exact two people are meant for each other. In other words, they are believed to be 'soulmates'," Fishlegs explained. "OTPs can't therefore overlap. There is only one true soulmate."
"Exactly!" Astrid seconded. "I already have my soulmate and I would never choose to be with anyone else over him."
Hiccup entwined their fingers. "And I would never choose anyone else over you." They shared a loving kiss. "We were made for each other."
"In the literal sense," Ruffnut whispered. "The 'Hiccstrid' is strong."
"Very strong," Heather agreed, "and unbreakable."
Eret cleared his throat. "Agreed!"
It was back to the Guest reviewers. Guest #4 was an Eret hater and his words made Eret wince.
Guest #4: Eret deserves a painful death. I hope that cock gets beheaded and fed to the Red Death. He ruined HTTYD 2 for me and he better not show up in HTTYD 3. Let us start a petition to get him removed from the movie!
Hiccup laughed and patted Eret on the back. "And this is why you better stay away from my girl," he teased. "If I don't kill you, the fans surely will."
Eret gulped. "I don't understand why everyone thinks I'm this big womanizer? I'm not!"
Ruffnut slid closer to him. "Exactly. You belong with me."
Heather elbowed her and muttered, "hands off." Ruffnut rubbed her side and scowled at her.
"Seriously Chief, I would never do anything to betray your trust," Eret stated loud and clear. "I'm your friend and I want nothing but the best for you and your family."
"I know, Eret," Hiccup smiled. "That is why I gave you my father's dragon."
Snotlout wiped a tear. "Now that's what you call a bromance."
Hiccup and Eret rolled their eyes while the girls giggled.
"Alright! Onto the next one."
Guest #5 was a Hiccstrid shipper and wrote pages long comments which always ended with "There will always be a Hiccup and Astrid. Always."
Hiccup and Astrid didn't know if they should be flattered or.. scared for life.
"A bit.. um.. intense and long?"
"..Yeah."
"But at least they are on our side, right?"
"Hmm, true."
"They are even a bigger Hiccstrid supporter than your father."
Stoick's ghost shook his head. "No. No one is a bigger supporter than me!"
Hiccup yelped. "Dad! Where did you come from?"
"I'm always here my son, right behind you."
Hiccup sighed. "Great, my dad's ghost is haunting me," he muttered. "I think it's time for a break."
Toothless cooed.
