Disclaimer: I don't own HIMYM, and I'm OK with that most of the time. Right before crucially important season finales, however…
The year 2030:
"So, kids, you're probably wondering why I'm telling you about your Uncle Barney's crazy schemes for making every night 'legendary.' The truth is, there were several things that Barney was trying hard not to think about, and Barney's adventures were his way of keeping his mind off of them. Fortunately for all of us, his last plan – bungee-jumping off of the Statue of Liberty – worked out better than any of us could have dreamed…"
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April 16, 2012:
"Robin, just the person I was looking for!" Sandy Rivers exclaimed. "I have something big for you, something huge, and I want you on it."
"Sandy," Robin said with a pained grimace, "you were in the sexual harassment video."
"You were great in that by the way," the security guard piped up.
Moron, Robin thought acerbically and tried not to let it show on her face.
"Not what I was getting at, although I like the way your filthy little mind works," Sandy said, smirking. "I have a major story for you to report on. Tell me, are you afraid of helicopters?"
"I love helicopters!" Robin exclaimed a tad untruthfully. "So what am I covering, a war?"
"Better," Sandy said. "Some idiot decided to bungee-jump off the Statue of Liberty, but his cord snapped. Guy narrowly avoided being a pancake. I want you to go along in the rescue chopper and interview him… assuming he's still alive, that is."
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His muscles were aching, but Barney knew if he let go of the Statue he'd plummet to his death.
As he clung desperately to the edge of the Statue, Barney didn't think about scotch or suits or his awesome new stripper girlfriend. He didn't even think about his family. No, he saw the same thing he'd seen when faced with death years before: Robin. And it made him furious. Why was she still the thing that he saw when he was in danger? After everything that had gone wrong between them, everything that she'd done to him, why was it still her?
He'd been trying to get over her without success for months – years, if he was to be perfectly honest – and his stupid feelings had only grown stronger. What was the point in trying to move on if it only made things worse?
He was still thinking about this when a rescue chopper arrived and tossed down a rope ladder. Barney eagerly grabbed hold of it and painfully climbed it up into the helicopter. And what he saw there made him think that maybe the stress had finally gotten to him after all:
"…Robin?"
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"Who would be stupid enough to bungee jump off the Statue of Liberty?" the pilot snorted as they approached the Statue.
"I don't know," Robin said, shrugging. "People like that do exist, though. I mean, I have a friend who loves doing crazy stuff like –"
She broke off upon seeing the figure hanging off of the Statue and her heart leapt into her throat.
"Barney?"
Suddenly it felt like she couldn't breathe. The world was spinning and she just knew that she was going to be sick.
"Lower the ladder!" she shrieked at the hapless EMT next to her.
Looking slightly frightened, the EMT did just that.
And as Barney slowly climbed the precarious rope ladder, she saw her life flash before her eyes. Ted was right, it wasn't a film of her entire life, it was just a composite of particular moments; and almost all of those moments featured the man who was nearly to the top of the rope ladder.
-–- -–- -–-
Barney collapsed shakily onto the spare seat in the helicopter.
He was just about to ask Robin what she was doing there when she started in on him.
"What the hell were you thinking?" she hissed. "Do you have a death wish or something? You could have died, Barney!"
"What's an adventure without the threat of death?" Barney asked, summoning up a weak smile.
"It's not funny, you idiot!" Robin exclaimed, and Barney was surprised to see that she was almost in tears. "Don't you know what your death would have done to all of us? Don't you know what your death would have done to me?"
He shrugged and winced at the sudden pain in his shoulders.
"God, Barney," she continued hysterically, though in a quieter voice, "I don't know what I would have done if…"
She broke off, her voice choked.
"You're a complete and utter idiot, Barney Stinson!" she said at last. "You're the king of idiots, the high priest of idiots, the freakin' god of idiots!"
Unable to stop himself, Barney leaned in and gave her an awkward hug.
"Hey, I'm OK," he told her quietly.
"Maybe you are," Robin muttered into his shoulder. "I think you just shaved ten years off my life. Don't ever do that to me again!"
The words came out of his mouth before he had a chance to censor them: "Why do you care so much? You haven't even talked to me in weeks."
"That doesn't mean that you aren't still my best friend!" Robin burst out, pulling back to look at him fiercely. "And I thought you wanted some space to be with Quinn. Besides, you haven't exactly been making an effort to talk to me either."
Barney frowned. "I thought you wanted some space. I didn't want to force my presence on you."
"Barney, I always want your presence," Robin said vehemently. "Look, I know you're with Quinn now and I don't have the right to say anything, but I made a mistake last November. I was scared and I panicked and made a stupid decision that I've regretted ever since. I don't expect anything from you, but you have the right to kn –"
He stopped her by putting a finger to her lips.
Her eyes widened and she fell silent.
"Do you mean it?" he asked her, an intense expression on his face.
She gave a single, determined nod.
-–- -–- -–-
The moment seemed to stretch on forever as Robin waited for Barney to reply.
And then… his eyes softened.
"I love Quinn, Robin," he said softly.
Robin's heart sank like a stone, and she blinked back tears.
"I know," she told him swiftly, "and I'll support you in whatever way you want."
"I love Quinn," Barney repeated, "but not as much as I should."
Wait… what?
Some of her confusion must have shown on her face, because Barney said, "Quinn is awesome, but, uh, my heart has always belonged to someone else. Quinn never really stood a chance."
Hope rose in her breast, and her eyes desperately searched his for answers.
"I'm not going to cheat on Quinn," Barney continued. "She deserves better than that. We deserve better than that."
We?
"So, uh…" Robin stumbled incoherently.
"Yeah," Barney said, his lips quirking upwards.
It felt as though the stone that had been lying on her heart for the past six months had suddenly vanished, leaving her lighter than air.
"High -getting-back-together-for-good-after-I-break-up-with-Quinn- five?" Barney asked hesitantly, holding up his hand.
Robin didn't need to stop to think about it. She immediately slapped his hand with her own.
As soon as their hands made contact, Barney interwove their fingers and lowered their arms.
He was beaming and Robin suspected that she wasn't much better.
"Hey, uh, I hate to interrupt," the WWN cameraman said, "but you are aware that all of this is being shown live, right?"
Oops.
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The year 2030:
"That 'interview' made Robin famous. Although she went on to interview Barney on his bungee-jumping accident, she was most famous for the scene that preceded it; everyone loves a love story, after all.
After the helicopter landed, Barney went to break up with Quinn only for her to break up with him first. It turned out that she'd been watching the news just like everyone else, and, unsurprisingly, didn't want to stay with Barney after what she'd heard.
Lily was thrilled that Robin and Barney had admitted their feelings to one another, and she and Marshall kept insisting that they'd known all along. Me? It took a little getting used to, I'll admit, but when I stopped to think about it, Barney and Robin made perfect sense; the signs had been there all along. A great love story had been going on right under my nose… I'd just been too blind and self-centered to see it.
And that, kids, is the story of how the timing was finally right for your Uncle Barney and Aunt Robin to find their way back to each other."
A/N: Apparently I really like writing B/R reunions being recorded for the entire world to see. [I suspect it's my subconscious desires at work... ;-)]