Hey guys! :) So, this is a Christmas one shot. I got the idea off of the song: "It's Not Christmas Without You" (hence the title) by Katharine McPhee. I love that song, so check it out! xD Enjoy the story.
As I stood next to the large window in our bedroom, I watched the crystal like snow pellets drift from the dark, dreary sky in pure sadness with a deep sigh. It was way too early for me to be up but the aching of my heart prevented me from getting any real sleep. But how could I when you weren't here? Being apart was too much for me to handle.
I felt like a lost puppy that didn't know what to do with itself; lost in the big world, alone. If I was honest with myself, it was quite pitiful. But there was nothing I could do about it. I would continue to wallow in self-pity and sadness until you were right here by my side. If what you told me yesterday when you called me was the truth, then I wouldn't be seeing you any time soon. To my displeasure. Just thinking back to that phone call made me smile and shudder at the same time.
"Hey babe, " I'd recalled you saying the moment you had picked up the phone. I had smiled, just hearing your voice sent waves of tingles though my body.
"Hey Nicky," I'd responded, running my hand though my hair. I had then heard something, like there was something that fell on the ground. "What was that? Nick, where are you?" There was a deafening pause on the line as I waited for an answer from you.
"I'm at the studio, Miles." I had automatically sighed along with you at your answer as we both knew what that meant. It meant you'd be there, at that studio for a while and wouldn't make it home for the most important part of Christmas day. This what I got for insisting on living in the country, hours away from the big city. Civilization was what you liked to call it. That always brought a smile to my face, for some reason.
"When will you be home?" I'd asked quietly, trying not to let my voice crack.
"Hopefully in a couple of hours, babe."
But a couple of hours could be 10! I had mused to myself but didn't dare say it out loud and instead chose to sigh. I'd felt the inevitable tears well up in my eyes, threatening to fall. I tried with all my might to stop my true feelings from being expressed, but that obviously failed when I spoke with a crack in my voice,
"You promised this wouldn't happen again." At that moment, I had felt sad and stupid. For me to be 22 years of age and be acting like a baby was sad. But then again, you, my husband, wasn't gonna be with me for Christmas; I had a right to be sad. Obviously, you knew what was running though my overactive mind.
You'd breathed out. "I know I did and I'm sorry, but Miles, please calm down, for me?" you'd pleaded softly with your soft, smooth voice as I'd immediately obeyed your wishes, as if it were my second nature, I'd swiped the back of my hand across my red cheeks to wipe off the tears. "Well, I-uh, have to go now..."
I had frowned. "Nick..." I hadn't wanted to end the conversation, not yet.
"I love you Miles."
I'd took a deep breath. "I love you too..." When you'd said nothing after that I had no choice but to reluctantly press the red button on my cell, ending the call before flopping back onto the soft, comforting feel of my bed.
That had been yesterday, around midnight. After that conversation, I had buried myself in the blankets, forcing myself to stop of train of depressing thoughts and rest but serving my current placement, that didn't go all too well. There was no doubt in my mind that I looked like a zombie as I continued to stare out at the complete darkness of the outside world. Nothing but plains met my blueish-gray orbs. The snow-covered the ground, serving as a protectant, something I wished I had. I wished I had you, but you weren't here. That wasn't something I wanted to admit to myself.
Out of nowhere, my teeth began chattering. A breeze (a cold one) was rushing past my bare legs, my white, cotton night-gown, too short to cover my body to the appropriate extent. At the time, when you'd said I should buy it, I wasn't complaining but I sure as heck was now. So thank you Nicholas, now I was freezing cold. And once again, I was back to thinking about you, just what I needed.
I dragged my bare feet against the spotless, white carpet towards the smaller window next to my bed on the opposite side of the room. Upon reaching my destination, I instantly shut the darn window, to my great pleasure, stopping the coldness. My eyes slowly drifted downwards, landing on the bedside table. I noticed a stack of envelopes resting on top of it. I almost felt guilty, like I was neglecting my family by not sending them cards like I had planned to, but I stopped myself. I couldn't do it in my state of mind.
Soon, around 5 in the morning (after I'd returned to my original spot at the window), I grew tired of staring at the layers upon layers of snow and ice, as it only further reminded me of not only the fact that you weren't here, but of the blissful Christmas we'd spent together last year.
I'd been mere 5 months after our old-fashioned wedding and you wanted to celebrate Christmas with your family in New Jersey. Of course, I had no objections. I loved your family.
The two of us were strolling alongside the snow-covered grass, on the sidewalk in a park near his family's house. There had been a huge, beautifully decorated Christmas tree in the middle of the park. You hadn't really cared much about it but I'd brushed it off and let the soft trudging of our feet through the snow bring a happy smile to my cold face. The chilling wind had been quite unbearable to my sensitive face, resulting in me snuggling deeper into your strong, welcoming embrace.
"You cold, Miles?" your soft voice rung in my ears as you gently moved your glove covered hand up and down arm. The gesture instantly warmed me up. I'd nodded though, to give you answer and in return, you'd only pulled me in tighter.
We had continued our sightseeing for a little longer, taking out time to enjoy the embrace. Although I had been enjoying your company and the sighting, I couldn't wait to get inside.
Suddenly, I wiped my face. W-what? Was I seriously crying? Was Christmas seriously this bad without you? If you were occupying my mind this much, I hoped I was occupying yours too. I hoped you were thinking about me.
Soon, I was knocked out of my depressing reverie when I heard distant knocking coming from the front door. In an instant, I was alert. At this time in the morning, and on Christmas, nobody had any business being at my door.
My steps were slow and silent as I made my way outta my room, traveling step-by-step down the staircase. The darkness of the foyer kinda scared me. I wrapped my pink robes I had slipped on securely around me, as if it would take place of your arms that I was hopelessly missing.
I peered though the peephole and right away began beaming in surprise.
I swung the door open and took absolutely no time engulfing you in my arms. You were here!
"I love you, Nick," I murmured wholeheartedly with my voice full of emotion into your shoulder, refusing to let you go. I felt your grip tighten as you lifted me into your arms, kicking the door shut, also stopping the rush of cold air in the process.
"I love you too, Miles. I promised to be here and I'm always gonna keep that promise. You don't have to worry, I'm here."
I now no longer had to wonder if you were thinking of me because you were right here with me. Sure, it wasn't Christmas without you. Well, the first sure hours weren't, but I was thankful that I wouldn't have to experience the rest of those hours.
I think this could've been a little bit better, but whatever, it was fun to write. I hope you guys liked it and will review. And hopefully the tense changes weren't confusing, I'm not all that used to it. Oh, and HAVE A HAPPY CHRISTMAS YOU ALL! :) Thank you all soooo much for reading.