Tony DiNozzo spewing hyperbole while trying to ask Ziva out on a date and pretending it's not a date, even though it is clear to everyone in the bullpen that it is, indeed, a date. Set shortly after Ziva became an American citizen.
Day 1 of 30 days of summer (yes, we're doing that again, what, you think I learn from my mistakes, bwahaha). I'm picking random summer related prompts this time, today's was "drive-in movie theater"
Thanks for reading, and a great, big thank you to everyone who has left feedback on my fics and that I haven't been able to thank personally.
"Aah, nothing like summer in America," Tony said as he stood up, dumped his bag on his desk, and started packing.
Ziva looked up. "Because of all the scantily clad women?"
He perked up, elated at the thought, yet slightly confused as to why that aspect of summer seemed to be passing him by.
"You know, the older you get, the creepier the leering gets," McGee chimed in.
Tony glared at him. Who did Tim think he was, Senior? He had barely done any leering or ogling lately. He frowned, shook his head slightly and focused on Ziva instead.
"Miss Ziva David, now that you're a red, white and true-blue US citizen, tell me, what is the epitome of being American."
"Hogging out on Thanksgiving Day?" she said flatly, while logging off her computer and gathering her things.
"That's pigging out, and, while I can understand your confusion after last year's Thanksgiving dinner at Ducky's." He walked up to her desk, and with a grand gesture of his hands, said, "It's the drive-in movie theater."
Ziva narrowed her eyes, barely controlling a smirk. McGee snorted loudly behind him.
"Okay, fine, maybe it's not quite the epitome of life in America, it is the embodiment of a DiNozzo date."
"How so?" Ziva leaned back in her chair, hands behind her head, arrogant smirk in place.
He blinked rapidly, regained his train of thought, and said, "It checks all my favorite boxes."
Ziva raised an eyebrow.
He ticked them off on his fingers. "Cars, movies, popcorn, spending the evening with a beautiful woman in a confined space."
"Does the woman come with the popcorn, or do you have to bring your own?"
The sparkle in her eyes, combined with the provocative slouch, made his mouth dry. "You're just jealous nobody has ever taken you to see a drive-in movie."
She touched a finger to her lips. "Doesn't Gibbs have a rule about assumptions?"
His excitement at sharing something important to him with Ziva plummeted. "Oh, so you have been."
Ziva grinned widely and sat up straight to finish packing her bag. "No, but you should not assume."
His earlier hope somewhat restored, he said, "They're playing 'Psycho' tonight, you still haven't seen it, have you?"
"Despite your never-ending reminders that I should, no, I have not."
"Good, if we leave now we can grab something to eat and be at the theater in time to get the perfect spot."
Ziva tilted her head. "Are you asking me out on a date to a drive-in movie, Tony?"
His smile wavered, and he suddenly felt the full heat of the sun bearing down on him through the skylights. He glanced at McGee who was listening quietly with raised eyebrows. "Psh, no," he deflected.
"Okay." She broke eye contact, stood up and shouldered her backpack. "Then McGee can come, too."
"What? No, he can't, 'cause…" He looked at McGee and bit his lip. "He has that thing, remember, you have the thing, with the computers."
McGee stared at him jutting his chin, and crossed his arms.
"The nerd thing, come on, Tim." Tony stared him down, hoping he'd take the hint.
"Well, I would like to go to the nerd thing," he said smugly. "If only you had paid me back those fifty bucks you owe me."
"I only owe you like thirty…fine," he grumbled and grabbed his wallet, wondering when not going on a date had gotten so expensive.
Ziva masked a chuckle with a cough, while looking for her car keys. "I'll drive."
"No!" He wanted to watch a thriller, not be in one. "You need to be in an American car for the ultimate American experience," he covered feebly.
Ziva looked him up and down with eyes that glowed like the summer sun. "With the ultimate American man?" she teased.
"Heh, you could do worse." He half-shrugged.
Ziva's smile widened. "I could." Then faltered slightly, not breaking eye contact. "I have."
The corners of her eyes crinkled once again, and she walked past him, towards the elevator. "Let's go, Mr. America."
He grabbed his backpack and caught up to her in three big strides. "That doesn't mean what you think it means," he said as they walked into the elevator.
Her eyes drifted over his body slowly as the elevator doors closed. She leaned in closer and murmured, "I know what I said."