Disclaimer: I dont own anything, J.K Rowling does
"Where is he?"
"Umm who?" Hermione asks puzzled.
"YOUR SON!" Neville yelled
"What are you two doing in my house yelling like banshees and why is my son hiding in the courtyard?" Draco asked looking from Neville to Pansy.
"YOUR SON…HE...HE…MY DAUGHTER…HE" Neville ranted.
"Yes, he what?" Draco inquired getting irritated that he was so rudely interrupted in the middle of his favorite television show, also the idiot Longbottom couldn't even speak correctly.
"SHE...HE…SHE'S…I'LL KILL HIM!!"
"Neville, you don't mean that." Hermione placated.
"YES I DO THE BLOODY… I CAN'T BELIVE HE…HE…"
Draco turned in exasperation and asked "Pansy do you speak idiot?"
Don't call my husband an idiot, Draco Malfoy your son …Lucien he…
Draco interrupted "What is it catching now?"
"Alice is pregnant" Pansy said in a rush
"Oh, is that all" Draco said.
"What do you mean, is that all…IS THAT ALL … I CAN BELIVE YOU DRACO MALFOY OUR SON HE …HE…?" Hermione sputtered
'Merlin it is catching' Draco thought, then turning to the other adults in the room
"Pansy, Longbottom, while I appreciate the fact that your daughter is pregnant, I still have no idea what that has to do with my son, I was under the impression that they were no longer dating, and that Alice started dating James Potter. That being said why are you here screaming at hermione and I, and infecting her with your idiocy, when you should be... at... the... Potters." Draco reasoned.
Hermione fell into her chair with a sigh, and looked at her husband.
"They made up." She said heavily.
"Excuse me?" he Questioned his wife.
"They…made…up." Hermione enunciated perfectly.
"What, when?" Draco said as comprehension began dawning on his face a look that quickly turned to horror.
"Two months ago." Hermione answered softly.
"My little girl is a month and a half along because of your oversexed little pervert. WHAT DO YOU INTEND TO DO ABOUT IT?"shouted Neville.
"They will get married of course." Said Hermione looking at the Longbottoms.
"Damn right they will." Pansy agreed vehemently
"Not if I kill him first, that will teach him to put his grubby hands on my daughter." Neville spat.
"My SON is not an… an…oversexed pervert, as you so inelegantly put it, nor is his hands or anything else grubby." My son was just ascertaining Alice's ability to provide him with an heir. He is a Malfoy after all" Draco sniffed haughtily.
Hermione stared at her husband in shock, then looked at Neville she had never seen him so livid in her entire life. His entire face right down to his neck was purple. "Draco that's not helping." Hermione squeaked.
"Courtyard right?" Neville Queried through clenched teeth looking directly at Draco then not waiting for answer he stalked off in that direction wand out and and ready.
"Well?" Hermione nodded in the direction Neville just headed off to.
"Well what?" Draco asked.
"Draco... your son, our son, go and help him."
"Why its just Longbottom, it"s not like he will use any unforgiveable's, and I taught Lucien to defend himself, he can produce a shield charm stronger than mine. Draco replied looking unconcerned.
"You should have taught him the birth control charm." Snarled Pansy
"I did" Draco countered glaring at Pansy.
"Darling" Hermione started, trying to compose herself.
"Draco do you remember when you announced to the whole school that I was pregnant.
"Yes, does this have a point?" he said looking bewildered.
"Good, so you also remember the hex that Ron used. You couldn't walk straight for a month. You couldn't do anything else for two months."
"Yes, Thank you for reminding me." Draco said wincing and shifting a little in his chair.
"I happen to know that when little Alice was born Ron in his god fatherly duties took it upon himself to teach Neville that little hex. Neville then used a variant of that same hex to take down ten death eaters. Do you remember what happened now?"
"Yes the rest surrendered because they…OH MERLIN MY SON." Draco screamed and took off running after Neville.