Never Spoken

Okay. XD; In this drabble, Kuzzey is in love with Mwu. It's an inside-ish joke about how this all came to be. Me and my friend Dan were talking about a roleplay over a year ago and he said as a joke he should make Kuzzey be in love with Mwu from afar. And from there we kind of kept it. XD In our gag RP community [fallenstarrp on livejournal] he still wants him, and in the whole one serious RP we did he did too. It was a joke and the other day I said I should write a serious drabble about it just because I could. And as I'm typing I'm sitting here bored so here I go. =D

--------------------------

Everybody's heard of the Hawk of Endymion. One single brave soldier of the Earth Alliance who had the will to stay strong and fight bravely until the end, even it was a lost cause. That was who he was, standing tall with neat blonde hair, and surprisingly a nice sense of humor. He didn't let the war break him apart like it did to me. He cracked jokes and was an all-around happy-go-lucky guy, he kept all of our hopes up.

I never would have guessed that I'd be so close to him. Back on Heliopolis I had heard of Mwu La Fllaga. And back then I dreamed. I wanted to be as brave as he was, he was like a hero to me, so it seemed impossible that I would wind up in a twist of fate that would have me working alongside of him. But then again his motto was that he could make the impossible possible; and even though I wish it was, I knew the motto wasn't directed at me.

He was always a hero to me, and the longer I stayed with the Archangel, the more I realized he was more than just a hero. He was an infatuation. When he would sit with Tolle, Miri, Ssigh and I in the break room and joke around with us, I would phase out and stare at him. We were new at things then, so he stayed around us to keep our spirits up, he gave me the power to want to fight on. Since I never had much courage to want to be here to begin with. It's frightening to think we could die at any moment's time, but when I think of his words, his face, it calms me. He'll be there to protect me, protect us all.

Is it bad that I think I'm in love with him? Everybody can tell I don't want to be there, yet I stay with them because I don't want to leave him. I also don't want to be the only one to leave the Archangel, I'd look like a coward. Mwu is the opposite of that, so he'd think ill of me if I left; I don't want him to. I want him to look at me and say 'Kuzzey is brave for staying and fighting with the Archangel'.

I know he'll never so much as look at me in any other way aside from a comrade, a little boy. And I'll keep admiring him, loving him from afar. I'll never speak of this secret to anybody, even when I'm gone and back home while they all keep fighting, even when I'm married and old and over it. But right now I'm not over it, and each day I see him and I love him more and more. It's actually starting to hurt, the fact that he'll never know. No one will ever know. Murrue said that now since we're back in Orb, not in the Alliance anymore, that we can go home if we want. I overheard a few of the crew members talk about leaving. I think I might too.

Since I can't face anything anymore. The battles, the fighting, his face. I'll pack up what little I have and leave. And I'll stay silent and run away from everything again. Though I'll wish I could have told him everything I wanted to, but he already loves someone. So I'll leave and I'll never speak of these times again. I'll never speak of him again. My hero, The Hawk of Endymion. Mwu La Fllaga.

------------------------

THIS FIC WAS DEDICATED TO DAN AND HIS KUZZEY CHARACTER [who'll never get Mwu]. And yeah I know this couple is like wtf. But hey. XD Don't not believe me when I say I'll write a serious fic over a joke because I have the lack of mental capacity and will do it. :x