What's What

By Kenji

Foreword: Here's something regarding Ohyama. "Enjoy"...

Disclaimer: I own a fish, and eight grizzly bears. …Azumanga Daioh? Eh?

NEW WAVE CONNEXION

Ohyama Masaaki… yes. Indeed, that is my name, though I have a strong suspicion that I'm probably the only one who remembers it - aside from my sister, of course, but let's just disregard that little titbit for the moment. Regarding myself: Well, I've been attending this high school for just over two years now, and I can't say I'm not enjoying myself; first and foremost, the curriculum is (largely) appealing, and I'm not really the type that's adverse to furthering their own education. While I don't study as often as the faculty might suggest, I'm generally an adequate student, or so I've been told. My exam rankings are seldom higher (or rather, lower) than ten, which earns me the accolades of my peers and teachers – among other things – and I'm also on the varsity swimming team, which earns me constant backslaps from my team-mates and the odd love letter perched inside my locker door. But I guess I'm coming off as arrogant, so I'll cease my ramblings.

What's my life like outside of school? Well, as I implied earlier, I'm a bit of a loner. It's not as though I'm a shut-in confined to my bedroom, though; I'm often on the go, as it were, and you might catch me down at the gym on weeknights. I head over to Kichijoji if I hear about a gig, and I might pop into Akibahara if I'm in the mood. Basically, I'm a busy guy, and my life is pretty hectic, but… I'm always by myself. I usually don't see it as a problem, though – my expeditions through Tokyo are strictly solo deals, and Yoshihide gigs are often best without company – but sometimes it occurs to me that'd it be nice to have someone to talk to; someone to confide in, etc.

I guess I have my fair share of acquaintances, though they're more 'colleagues' than anything else. My classmate Yoshida often greets me in the morning; well-known campus rockers Sasaki and Nasuno occasionally give me a courteous nod; even fellow swimmer Kagura - the boisterous, seemingly dull-witted ball of energy that she is - waves cheerfully every time I head home after training. These people – I wonder how they see me? Do they see me and think, "Ohyama Masaaki"? Do they think, "He's a good guy"? Do they simply beam passively, unaware of whom I really am? I really cannot say.

There's no time to ruminate on all that now, though. I've gotta go to school. I'll see you there.

"Tadaima!" I shout – and then I'm off.

NERVOUS EYES

Ah, another fine day of solitude. From the rooftop I can see the entire precinct… mmm, it's certainly a nice view. The classroom windows only offer irregular glimpses of the female P.E. class, and to tell you the truth, I'm not really interested in any of those girls. The professed elegance of the youthful female figure pales in comparison to this, as far as I'm concerned. Saying that, I guess I better clarify something: no, I'm not gay. Now that that's out of the way, let me briefly fill you in on my day thus far. First, we had English, which was shithouse, followed by another monotonous lecture on Classical Japanese from everyone's favourite Mr. Kimura – I hope you didn't miss the sarcasm – concluding with the twin horrors of maths and science.

Sounds like any day, eh? Well, I guess you could say that. Something rather incongruous happened in between periods, though; I actually had a half-decent discussion with someone! And for once, it had a duration of over fifteen seconds! Hooray! Ah… I guess you want to know who it was. Well, honestly, her name eludes me now, but I'll say this: she was rather tall. That's not to say that I'm short; in fact, in comparison with me, she was merely half a foot ahead. But if you happened to be, say, Chiyo Mihama, then she was absolutely colossal.

What did we talk about? Well, I just happened to be browsing through a plushie catalogue, when suddenly I found her peering over my shoulders, looking rather flushed. I asked her what was wrong; she said it was nothing… and on it went from there. It was enjoyable, to say the least, and I wouldn't mind having a good chat with her sometime in the near future.

For now, however, my musings are interrupted. A group of four – no, six – have just emerged from the stairwell. This is certainly unusual… are they here to see me? No, that's a ludicrous presumption; they're probably just having lunch. Who are they, I wonder? They look a rather motley bunch, that's for sure. Hmm, I recognize a few faces… Kagura, Chiyo… wait a minute; there's that girl! She certainly towers over her companions! Ah, she's looking in my direction - what's that expression on her face?

"Um…Sakaki-san, do you know that guy?"

Sakaki! That was it! I'll have to note that for future reference. Who's that girl with the chirpy voice? She looks like she's sunburnt! She seems to be quivering abnormally, too… hmm…

"Sakaki-san?"

Heh, there she goes again. I'll just ignore it for now. Man, this udon is delicious – would you like some?

"Hey, that's Ohyama Masaaki! He's on my swim team!"

That'd be Kagura. I guess I should have disguised my profile more effectively, haha.

"Ohyama Masaaki?" enquires - or rather, squeaks - the chirpy girl.

"Ohyama-kun! Heeey!"

I glance at her casually, grinning.

"Hey. What's up?"

"You wanna join us for lunch?"

Well, this sure is a remarkable development – how could I refuse? I nod, despite having finished my udon, and take a pew between Kagura and an unfamiliar male who looks like a foreigner.

"Ohyama-kun," mutters the boy "I think some introductions are in order." Well, his Japanese isn't too bad; perhaps he's half-American or something.

"I'm Boris. I'm an exchange student from Greece."

I shake the proffered hand heartily. Greece, eh? Intriguing!

"Hi! I'm Kaorin, and this is Sakaki-san!"

Sakaki gives me an awkward look – I guess she would've preferred to introduce herself. This girl probably pampers her like a husband. Incidentally, why didn't she give me her name earlier? Too preoccupied? Hm.

"Koyomi Mizuhara; just call me Yomi. Nice to meet you."

This girl – no, woman - has an air of maturity and sophistication about her. Rather exceptional for a high school student, wouldn't you say? I wouldn't mind hanging out with this kind of person during the ephemeral summer holiday – perhaps we'll be lovers by then, haha.

Damn, I think she caught that devious glint in my eye; she's glowering at me. My instinct tells me this girl is rather frigid, but I guess you can't "win 'em all", as it were.

Well… this has most definitely been a rewarding day! Maybe hitting the sack slightly earlier last night was a subconsciously premeditated move on my part? It seems to have enhanced my social skills, and maybe my pheromones, ha. Perhaps I might invite them to a gig this weekend? Intolerance of avant-garde music is rampant among people my age, though… so I guess I'll have to miss out on that "Ruins w/ Keiji Haino" improv session. They'll probably enjoy Kuroyume, though. I'll check the concert itineraries when I get home.

But for now, I have to go to class. I give the posse a pithy farewell, and then, reluctantly, I descend into boredom.

Note: For those who wish to complain about the abrupt ending of the second segment... "too bad!"