I was on tumblr when I saw this post that said: "What if you woke up on your 18th birthday and you had a tattoo with the first words your soulmate ever says to you?" So I decided to make it into a Tiva fanfic, because really? "Having phone sex?" being Ziva's first words to Tony? Waaaayyyy to good to pass up.

Disclaimer: I own a half-eaten Easter egg and a glass of stale water. So, no.

It has always just been a way of life. On your eighteenth birthday you wake up with a tattoo of the first words your soulmate will say to you. The tattoos were of course always someplace hidden, as in covered by everyday clothing, to prevent any stranger from using it as a pick-up line. This is of course based on the principle that at least some words are exchanged before the other person had a chance to see under the clothes.

It may seem like a strange way to go about life, but it was the only way people have ever known. It has been happening for so long that it is never questioned and the source of it has never been determined.

Some teenagers couldn't wait for it to come, because when you meet your soulmate, you will know. After they turned eighteen, they anxiously waited every day when meeting new people, excited for what they would say first and if it will be the same words that are forever imprinted on their skins. And when they eventually did meet that person and it doesn't work out at first, they don't have to worry because they know that they are meant to be together. But those who were already in relationships were always nervous, for what if their tattoos didn't match each other?

For some, it was a source of absolute torment. Who wanted to be nervous the entire time, wondering if the next person they meet will be "the one"? And what if they died before you had a chance to meet them? What would be the point of waiting? And how would you even know they died? Why would you get a tattoo if you never even meet?

Others just ignored it. They figured that it was useless to wait for some random person to say a specific couple of words to you before you could enjoy life. It might seem stupid to be in a relationship with someone knowing that it will not last, but most people didn't want to spend their entire lives waiting for someone when they didn't know when that moment would be.

And that is how the world lived. Children were brought up to believe that you shouldn't go looking for love - love will find you. Because, like their parents and their parents and everyone before them, it could happen when you're least expecting it.

For some, it was okay, seeing as their less than generic tattoos would help them identify their soulmates right away. But when Ziva David woke up in Tel Aviv on her eighteenth birthday with the word "Hi" tattooed on her left hipbone, she was a little put off. Seriously? "Hi"? Every new person she met would probably say that to her! Why couldn't she get something with a little bit more guidance?

After ranting about it for a few days, she decided not to let it bother her. She was a Mossad assassin after all - she was likely to die on a mission before she met her soulmate. Thus she never even thought about it when someone said "Hi" to her. Little did she know that one day, it would really matter.

Party-boy player Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo was a little puzzled, but hardly surprised, as he looked in the mirror on his eighteenth birthday with the words "Having phone sex?" written in black on his ribcage under him right arm. His mother, of course, was furious. His father only gave him a wink and a manly pat on the shoulder. His buddies were naturally very excited and praised him for getting a girl say that to him.

In his college days, he of course had many, many girlfriends and they didn't necessarily decrease in number when he finally became Very Special Agent Tony DiNozzo in his late twenties.

He never really thought about his tattoo, as he didn't care to find his soulmate much. He was very happy having women run after him and taking a different one to bed every next week. It was part of the DiNozzo charm.

Until he met Kate. He liked her, he'll admit, but he never made a move. Why, he didn't know for certain. Gibbs would have headslapped him if he did in any case. He was attracted to her, and loved the way they always flirted with each other. And the way her hair would sometimes fall in her face and she'd angrily push it away. He knew he felt something a little more than friendship toward her after Ari held her captive in Autopsy. He had thought that she might feel something for him when she refused to leave his side during the pneumonic plague. And how McGeek had said that she was really worried about him. He remembered the look on her face when he "saved" her from that snake.

And now she is gone.

He is so angry. At Ari. At himself for not being able to save her. At the universe for being so cruel.

Gibbs and the new director came into the bullpen and then left after a few seconds of talking. He had to admit: Director Shepard was kind of hot.

And then he saw her. Standing before him in probably the sexiest outfit he had ever seen. He was staring at her with a stupid smile on his face when she spoke.

"Your mother should have washed your mind out with soap. Gibbs leaves with a woman and your only thought is: 'Nooner!' "

"Was not!" he scoffed.

"Was too. I've always known what you where thinking, Tony." She paused, noticing the look on his face. "What? What are you up to?" Realising he was staring at her looking like a man who hasn't eaten in a week, she looked down and saw what she was wearing. "Tony?! I just died and you're having a sexual fantasy?"

"Can't help it."

"DiNozzo?!"

"Sometimes I used to picture you naked..."

Hearing Kate scream, he noticed the woman standing in the entrance of the four cubicles. She was beautiful, with her olive-toned skin, dark curly hair and gorgeous chocolate-brown eyes. He felt himself instantly attracted to her, thoughts of Kate moved to the back of his mind as he look in her natural beauty. She wasn't caked with make-up like the usual blonde bimbos he went for. In fact, she was the exact opposite. And he found that he liked it. Realising that she just heard what he was saying, he quickly tried to salvage the situation.

"I'll call you back," he said and pressed the speaker button on his desk phone. Hearing it beep, he slammed on it again. "Hi…" He paused for a few seconds, not knowing what to say. "I was just…"

He nearly fell out of his chair when he heard the first words out of her mouth.

"Having phone sex?"

It can't be.