A/n- Hello guys! Back with a new os! Enjoy!
It was chilly winter night. I with my friend Sanaya Irani, better known as Khushi Kumari Gupta Singh Raizada, were walking on a nearly deserted road when someone called us from behind
"Madamji, hamare sath bhi walk karlo!"
We turned to see two drunken street boys approaching us. I was going to answer them when sanaya held me from elbow and whispered to ignore them. And that's when they laughed and said ,
"Aree! Ye dekho kaun hai hamari sanaya ke sath! Ye toh wahi Comedy Nights With Kapil ki bade hotho wali heroine haina?"
My nostrils flared automatically and anger increased inside me.
"Kya yaar tu bhi! Samne rasgulla hai auur tu gutter ko muh laga raha hai? ye dekh, kaha sanaya aur kaha ye!"
He pointed towards me. They made faces looking at me and then they turned their gaze towards sanaya. They started approaching her when she literally dragged me from there. Luckily, a man passed from there and we told them about those stalkers. He gave them a look and they ran away. Sanaya sighed in relief while I felt a deep pain in my heart for the first time...
Today it happened again. That pain, it came to me again. It was when I was attending an award function and my friend Manish Paul and Bharti Singh was hosting it. It happened when they talked,
"Bharti, mene suna hai tumne ek apne size ki bhais li hai?"
"MANISH!" she shouted "Tumhari himmat kaise hui-"she turned her gaze towards audience and continued"- meri bhais ki size ko underestimate karne ki? Wo to meri kya, Sumona ke hoth se bhi zyada badi hai"
At this laughter echoed from every corner. My friends from other shows, sitting next to me laughed like hell. I felt a great humiliation. Felt like someone stabbed in right in my heart. I was feeling bad but soon recovered realizing all cameras were on me. I laughed fake and all believed it real. No one could see pain in my eyes and sadness inside my laughter. That didn't help me; it made me feel even worse!
Today was a really tiring day, not because we had to shoot for seventeen hours but because I was messed up from inside. I was used to now, for working for long hours, so it never made me feel sick. But whenever I was in low mood, even two hours of work made me feel like throwing everything aside and running from there. Today was that day. We were shooting for 'Happy New Year' team. Whole team was present on our show 'Comedy Nights With Kapil'. As usual I entered with a happy mood and greeted everyone. As usual Kapil made faces and flirted with deepika in front of me. It affected me during 'Chennai Express' Promotions but now I was used to that feeling. I ignored the flame of jealousy inside me and spoke my lines and a punch, but because of lack of concentration I fumbled and punch went flat. And Kapil, as usual commented,
"Kitne saal ho gaye tuje mere sath kam karte hue?" he grinned his teeth and moved his gaze on Siddhuji "Abhi tak paaji ye sikh nai pai ke puncdh kaise bolte hai!"
"Kabhi kabar apne bade muh ka fayda liya kar!" he hit me on my shoulder.
And that was it! This comment, that too by a person I love the most, broke my heart. The fact that he was acting didn't help me feel bad. My cheeks went red and the plastic smile which I used to put went and a serious face replaced it. All the previous incidents started playing in my mind and that made me feel dizzy. But I am a great actress. This all happened in just a matter of seconds but as usual I recovered from it, took a deep silent breath and spoke my next lines with that smile. No one noticed anything. My part went on and it was during the end of my part when Kapil again commented something which strangled my heart and my strength of bearing pain gave up. His words were,
"Dipu, kyuna hum dono kahin dur chale jaye jaha nato iske bade hoth pohoch paye aur nahi uski nak, jo wo hamesha bichme dalti rehti hai" that automatically made me frown. And he replied it with other comment "Ja jaker kisi auur ko apna ganda muh dikha! Pata nai kaise kaise log rakh liye hai mere show me!" he hit his head lightly.
This was enough! I turned from Manju to Sumona without my own permission. I felt like shouting at him but I couldn't as I never wanted to humiliate him. I wanted to show him my emotions but that was not possible as we were shooting in front of cameras. I wanted to do bad to deepika for making me feel ugly. I wanted to run away but I couldn't. All I had to do was to suppress my feelings again and throw flat punches to which I will have to bear more humiliation. But unfortunately my strength gave up. And I forgot my lines which made me feel nervous. I fell silent and Kapil laughed sensing that I again forgot lines. He said "Mar ja jaker kahin!" Already I was feeling to commit suicide and this strengthened my feeling. There was no choice left but to speak something, anything. So I decided to speak my heart out. I could feel all eyes on me. Kapil and our guests were waiting for my lines with a smile. I ignored their look and said with a smile "Kapil ji, Thank you for all the respect you gave me!" unfortunately tears rolled down and I saw kapil's expression changing. His face changed from happy one to worried one and I kicked myself from inside for ruining his mood. I knew it was not his fault; he spoke whatever was written in script. How could I do that to him?
I was not sure how to react. I knew everyone was now serious. Deepika was now on my side, asking me what is wrong. All male leads were now around me. Kapil was just staring me with a very serious face. I tried to smile but tears which were not ready to stop failed my efforts. I was feeling so helpless, I ran away from stage. I was not in position to meet eyes with anyone so with head down I walked out. After I was away from everyone's gaze I gave up to pull back my tears. I broke down after locking myself inside my vanity van. I lay down on my bed and closed my eyes to relax myself but it was not so easy. Finally after sometime, sleep replaced all the feelings and without my realization I slept.
Someone said that the amount of sadness you feel, four times of that amount of happiness you will get. Surely now I believe these words.
Tomorrow I cursed god for making me feel the worst person of the world but now, how can I thank god? Tomorrow was surely worst as well as happiest day of my life. How creative is god? He wrapped bunch of happiness with a thin paper of sadness. It made my day special in every way.
So as I said. I was sleeping in my vanity van when I heard a slight thud on my van's door. I am a person who can't sleep when surrounded by noise; that sound was loud enough to wake me up. After I opened my eyes, it was after few seconds I realized what happened few minutes or maybe few hours ago; I was not sure for how much time I slept. I was feeling so low, I didn't want to talk with anyone but unfortunately I never can ignore anyone. So after calming myself and sighing heavily I walked towards the door.
As soon as I opened the door I felt someone's hand catching mine and before I could understand what was going on, I saw Kapil pulling me towards the set. I was so much tired, I was not able to think faster. So before I could react or do something we reached near the stage. I saw everyone was in serious mood. As soon as we climbed the stairs of stage, every gaze were on me and Kapil now. I wasn't sure if I could meet anyone's eyes, so I walked with low head. My head lifted up when we stopped at the centre of the stage. Now I had to meet everyone's eyes. And I saw atmosphere was calm and serious for the first time on the sets.
I shifted my gaze towards Kapil; I was not sure what to do. And at that moment my heart skipped its first beat and then suddenly started to beat furiously. My cheeks started to show red color beneath it. I realized Kapil was staring at me, without blinking and with his perfect and genuine smile. I blinked to make sure this was not a mirage or imagination or something like that. But after blinking also, picture remained same. And then I realized I was smiling stupidly. As I realized it, I wore again that serious face. But this didn't stop Kapil from smiling widely. I was now started to feel nervous as I knew whole cast of 'HNY' was behind us and in front of us were our Siddhuji surrounded by audience. I wanted to see each of their faces to see how they are reacting but was I that brave? Answer was no. So I just looked away, looking anywhere and nowhere. Amidst all this I forgot that Kapil was still holding my hand. I moved my hand in order to let him realize it. And after a second I felt that grip on my hand got stronger and person holding it pulling me by holding my hand. I was os much worried. Where the hell was this all going? What was going to happen? And why am I not stopping it?
When many questions were running in my mind, I felt someone hugging me from side. I knew who this 'Someone' was but I preferred it to remain unknown, at least for now! And while I discovered what I was feeling, I heard him say loudly,
"Sumona! We are sorry! Hum seriously bohot bura feel kar rahe hai tumhe hurt karke. Hum bina soche samje ke tumpar kya betati hai, tumhari beizzati karte gaye! Par tum chinta mat karo" he said it so genuinely, I fell again for him. How can I not love a person like him? While I jumped from inside, I heard him continuing his sentence " ajse writer kabhi tumhare bare me bura nai likhega. And don't worry about that scene. Wo cut ho jayega so tum weak nahi kehlaogi" how the hell did he came to know that I don't like people calling me weak? I wondered and he continued,
"Sumona tumhe nai pata tum CNWK ke liye aur mere liye-"he corrected himself immediately; I noticed it "hum sab ke liye kya ho! Agar tum mayne na rakhti to kya mein tumhe leta iss show me? Kya hum dedh saal kat pate?" I fell silent (as if I was shouting till now). He was right! Sadness paralyzed my mind and so I couldn't think about the things which were good. And now when he said that, I realized I never paid attention on a question ' why he choose me over every other actress?' the instant answer I got from my mind, or heart made me blush badly. Again without my permission smile crept on my lips. I heard Kapil sigh and then he said "I am sorry". With this whole set and everyone present there shouted "WE LOVE YOU, SUMONA!" I smiled more widely with such a response and my eyes shined with tears. I immediately turned to get a look of Kapil and I saw him smiling his perfect smile. I couldn't help to laugh at this. he covered the short distance between us in an instant and hugged him without any fear. He hugged back and laughed. I broke hug after hearing whistles and laughter of Siddhuji. I was so embarrassed but Kapil knew this and he handled it with ease. He started his instant comedy and everyone soon forgot what I had done on stage.
After shooting completed, all my team mates and crew came to me; they started showering me with their love and jokes. I was os happy to see them doing everything to make me happy.
We packed up for that day and I was removing makeup in my vanity van when again someone knocked the door. I knew who it was as I didn't talk to that person after pack up of that day, I hoped it wasn't him and when I opened the door I saw him. As usual he was standing, waiting for the door to open with his so-heart-melting smile. I starred him, smiling sheepishly before he coughed to pull me out of my trance. I saw him smiling naughtily and I turned other side to avoid his gaze. He entered inside the van, following me towards my dressing table. I was removing my makeup and from the corner of my eyes I saw him smiling at me. I was feeling irritated now. What the hell is he upto? And why is he here? I asked myself while removing earings. That's when he asked,
"Abhi bhi naraz ho?"
"Nai to" I answered promptly. "toh phi raj sabse baat ki, mujse kyu nai ki?"
"aisa kuch nai hai" I ignored to look at his reflection in mirror.
"Oh!"
"By the way, tum muje chahti ho?" he asked suddenly with what seemed serious tone. I laughed fake and answered" who told you that?"
"mene notice kiya hai. pichle saat mahino se notice kar raha hu par kabhi puchne ki himmat nai hui!" how badly I wanted to see his expressions but was I that brave? NO!
"Oh really?" I managed to ask and in next second he was facing me, our faces inches apart. I saw a certain glow in his eyes. A different yet same smile I used to see on his face. I wanted to go away but I couldn't. I wanted to cup his face but I wasn't that brave. I wanted to faint but that was not in my hand. I wondered what to do and how to react when I felt a pair of lips catching mine. I was so horrified when I realized HE was kissing ME! How could he? Does he love me? Should I react? Should I push him back?
He was kissing so slowly, lovingly yet so passionately and genuinely, I gave up and kissed him back. his hands were already cupping my face and caressing my cheeks which made my cheeks burn under my skin. My hands automatically went near his hand and I started to caress his hairs with my fingers. I was so much thrilled and excited by the way he was kissing me. Current ran up and down my spine. I couldn't help but smile while kissing and thank god for this feeling he gave me!
We broke apart, unfortunately when we were at the loss of air. Our lips were inches far but our foreheads were resting on each other. He laughed lightly without any reason which made me smile. His hands were still cupping my face and my hands were now resting on his shoulders. My eyes were shut, you know na, I'm not so brave to watch him smile at me naughtily! We didn't talk with each other for few minutes and stayed in our positions as it is. But soon Kapil stood up, removed lipstick mark on his lips and started towards the door. I watched him go and then suddenly he turned and said in Bittu's cool dude manner
"You know, I knew you love me babes. I knew you used to see me like this in front of my back but whatever, I don't care" I laughed and he ended his sentence with KAPIL's lovely smile and "I love you, Sumona!"
He went outside and I danced and jumped like a kid…
I don't know whom I love more, god who gave me Kapil as a life partner or Kapil who made me believe and have faith in god? But who cares? Kapil is my god! So ki fark penda hai ki mein Kapil se ishq karu ya uparwale se? :))
A/n-OMG! OMG! O.M.G! I cant wait for reviews…please yaar jaldi do apne comments… pleeeaaaassssseeeeee!