Author's Note: This is my attempt to show Susan's life after the death of all she held dear. Kinda a way to show her pain in a bit of a new light. It might be continued might not, that all depends on how you as readers respond to it, so if you want another chapter? Then REVIEW!
Disclaimer: None of these wonderful characters are mine, I just play with them
The temperature of her heart? Same as the cold, lonely London streets right before dawn, but without the possibility of sunrise. Another night of stilleto heels and low cut dresses. She had been out all night searching for something, someone who could fill the space in her heart. But empty promises, liquor bottles, and bad decisions were all that she found.
She says she's lonely, how could she be, every night she's got company.
How could her life be over? She could only admit her feelings of loneliness to the night sky and her cigarettes. At twenty-seven she should be at the brink of the rest of her life, not the end. That knowledge didn't change the fact that above all she felt trapped, like when she was young and sent to the countryside. But then again she wasn't really so alone back then. Orphaned by her parents, yes, but she still had Peter then. Edmund. Lucy. Now? She has an apartment and some things, but no family. She had truly become an orphan.
Placing her key into the door of her flat, she finally let the tears fall down her face. Walking into the small entryway she took off her shoes, let down her hair, and walked to her bedroom. Not bothering to take off the dress she climbed upon the bed and grabbed the nearest pillow to cling tightly. Wincing at the pain in her ribs, she chanced a look at her wrists. Her face fell even more as she saw the evidence of yet another of her 'mistakes.'
Dark purple bruises, in the shape of hands adorned her arms and thin wrists, giving the world proof of her failure, submission, and above all weakness.
With a shuddering breath she whispered to the breaking dawn, "You were never really here at all."
Laying back on the bed she fell into a brief, fitfull slumber. Repetitive dreams that showed all she had thrown away, repeated on a never ending loop. Peter, Edmund, and Lucy being the most prominent except for a fourth face, that came to the forefront much too often. A face that she could no longer bear to name, even in the safety of her own dreams.
Jerking awake with a scream, Susan grabbed a pillow and kept repeating the same phrase, while tears slowly made their way down her cheeks, "I wish we would have had more time together."
Standing up she walked over to her window seat and pulled and old quilt around her shoulders. Looking out the window at the pale dawn she kept wondering it maybe, just maybe she should just give up. Hearing a meow, she looked next to the seat and saw the only friend she had left.
"What are you doing up?"
His answer was to leap up onto her lap and curl up.
Softly stroking the top of his head Susan whispered, "Sometimes I think that If you wouldn't have found me, I would have left a long time ago, Leo."
A/N: So remember, if you like it? Review! Want to see more stories like it? Then go to my author profile and click on the link in my about me! Oh, and the three bolded and underlined lines? They aren't mine. Credited below.
Line from the song "Oh Marie" by Sheryl Crowe
Line from the song "Here is Gone" by The Goo Goo Dolls
Line from the Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian, spoken originally by Prince Caspian.