But if he finds you and you find him,

The rest of the world don't matter;

For the Thousandth Man will sink or swim

With you in any water

From; The Thousandth Man. Rudyard Kipling

Ianto Jones rushed out of the lift and into the food court atrium that was at the heart of Torchwood Tower, London. He was late for lunch with his girlfriend Lisa Hallet. Ianto could see her at their usual table, two tuna pasta salads and two coffees before her, fingers tapping and casting impatient glances at her phone, checking the time. Ianto felt a small spasm of trepidation flutter in his chest. He loved Lisa and didn't like making her even a little bit unhappy. Even though they had been together nearly nine months now he still found it hard to believe that someone as totally brilliant as Lisa was going out with a nobody like him. He was so busy trying to catch Lisa's eye that he wasn't really concentrating on where he was going and so was completely disorientated to find himself suddenly plastered against a broad muscular chest.

'Whoa! Easy tiger!' an amused American voice buzzed in Ianto's ear. Ianto pulled back slightly to look into the face of the most ridiculously handsome man he had ever seen. Carefully styled soft brown hair flopped boyishly over a wide smooth brow and two impossibly blue eyes smiled into his own. A look of mild concern flashed over the perfect man's face, 'You OK?' Large warm hands grasped his shoulders steadying him.

Belatedly Ianto realised he was staring, with his mouth open. He tried to pull himself together, 'Yes, umm I –I umm, sorry, sir'

The American laughed 'Sir? Oh, I like you. What's your name, kid?'

'Jones, Ianto Jones'

'Well Jones, Ianto Jones, I'm Captain Jack Harkness. I'm gonna be stuck in this hell hole for a couple of months, how would you feel about being seconded to be my liaison with Yvonne Hartman, hmm?' He looked deep into Ianto's eyes and smiled, lowering his voice to a soft seductive purr he continued, 'how about it Ianto Jones? Do you wanna be on my team? '

'I…I…'

'Good' the large hands were gone from his upper arms and Ianto thought he would never be warm again, 'I'll be in touch' and Captain Harkness swept out of the food court, leaving Ianto standing alone, looking bemusedly after him.

'Oh my God!' Ianto had never seen Lisa so excited, 'do you know who that was?'

Ianto frowned, 'he said his name was Captain Jack Harkness'

Lisa thumped him on the arm, 'Yeah. Jack Harkness. He's the leader of Torchwood Three in Cardiff. No-one knows anything about him'

Ianto raised a sceptical eyebrow, 'he seemed fairly forthcoming to me' he said

Lisa shot a sharp and calculating glance at him, 'Really? Well, there are no records of him held here at Torchwood One, none at all, not electronic, not hard copy. No-one knows anything about him at all, not where he's from, what he is, nothing, well…apart from the stories, of course'

'What stories?' asked Ianto curiously

Lisa rolled her eyes, 'God being in archives must be like being on another planet. Everyone knows that Jack Harkness will shag anyone and anything'

Ianto snorted 'Anything?'

'Yeah' Lisa chuckled at the memory, 'The story goes that the first time Director Hartman met him, she was late leaving her previous meeting. When she got to her office Captain Harkness was sitting in her chair, feet up on her desk, wanking himself silly'

'No' Ianto was equally horrified and titillated

'Yeah. Apparently he made her wait until he'd finished and then he came all over the agenda she had printed out for their meeting and stained the leather inlay of the desktop'

'Bloody hell' Ianto was more than slightly impressed, he had always found Director Hartman to be a terrifying woman but if anyone was going to bring her down a peg or two he could easily believe it would be Jack Harkness.

'Wait there's more' Lisa's chuckle had evolved into a full blown dirty laugh, 'She went ballistic at him, how dare he etc and he just laughed and said he had a low boredom threshold and that if she wasn't going to be on time then he would have to entertain himself however he could. Anyway, next time they had a meeting scheduled, Director Hartman told her PA that on no account was the Captain to be left alone in her office. Unfortunately, as it turned the Director was delayed again and this time she was really, really late, like forty-five minutes or something. So, she walks into her office and the Captain is there with a member of the Bannash royal family who was on a diplomatic visit to the planet. The Bannash is on its back on the director's desk, it's got three of its tentacles fucking the Captain's arse, the Captain has his cock in its cloacae and the Directors PA is on her knees sucking his balls. The Director lets out a scream that was heard all the way down in engineering and the Captain just looks over his shoulder, grins and says "always room for one more" and carries on fucking the Bannash princeling '

Ianto snorted his coffee as he laughed, 'He's got chutzpah I'll give him that' he said, 'but he's not likely to turn up in the archives thank god. He's someone else's problem'

The following day, Ianto was working at his desk in the archives section updating the species database in the light of information obtained from a recent off-world visitor to Torchwood Tower when his phone rang. Ianto eyed it suspiciously, his desk phone never rang, most people preferring to communicate via e-mail.

'Hello, Ianto Jones'

'Ah Ianto, ' it was Karina Johnson, Yvonne Hartman's scary PA, 'The Director would like to see you'

Ianto felt his heart sink, had Captain Harkness complained about him? He knew his behaviour yesterday had been less than polite. He licked his lips, his mouth felt dry and cottony.

'When?' he croaked.

'Right away' said Karina, 'she's waiting for you now, better get up here fast.'

Heart pounding Ianto stepped out of the lift and walked down the corridor to Hartman's office, the passageway felt at least a mile long, Ianto was certain he was going to be fired and he felt the old self hate and insecurities beginning to coil in his gut. This would be just another thing he had fucked up, his relationship with his dad, with Geraint his only boyfriend, with his sister. Oh God, Lisa would leave him. By the time Ianto had reached the imposing door that led into the Directors office suite he was pale and shaking.

Karina looked up as Ianto sidled into the antechamber where she guarded the entrance to the Directors inner sanctum. She gave Ianto a curt nod and rose sinuously from behind her desk. Tall and blonde, she was a walking ice queen, never less than immaculate, she was as formable as the woman she worked for. She always made Ianto feel as if he had dirt on his face or spinach on his teeth. The telephone call that had summoned him here was the most she had ever spoken to him. Walking up to double doors she knocked, opened them both, and saying 'Ianto Jones, Director' and stepped to one side to allow Ianto to enter.

At first all Ianto could see was Yvonne Hartman, sitting behind her desk with a thunderously furious expression on her face.

'Mr Jones,' she said coldly, 'I must admit that you have escaped my notice up until this point. I have looked over your employment records since you joined us here at Torchwood and you seem a competent, if unexceptional, employee.'

Ianto wasn't sure what to say so he ducked his head shyly and murmured, 'I try to do my best Ma'am'

'Hmm' Hartman's tone suggested that she strongly doubted that, 'however, it would appear that Captain Harkness has spotted something about you.'

For the first time, Ianto noticed that Jack Harkness was seated off to one side, his booted feet resting upon a small coffee table; he gave Ianto a friendly wave. Ianto had to struggle to stop himself from waving back. What is it about that man he thought, how on earth does he get away with it?

Director Hartman cleared her throat, 'Captain Harkness is going to be working with us here at Torchwood Tower for the next few months, helping us catalogue some of our more obscure artefacts. He has requested that you be assigned to him as his assistant.'

'Personal assistant' interjected Jack with a broad smile and a wink. Yvonne Hartman threw a withering glance in his direction; it seemed to bounce right off the man's charisma.

'I'm not ordering you to do this Mr Jones' Hartman continued, 'however, if you feel able to oblige me in this I would be...' she made a face as if she was swallowing a live slug, 'very grateful.'

Ianto looked at Jack Harkness, god the man was beautiful, Harkness smiled at him again, his eyes sparkled with mischief, 'C'mon Yan, whaddya say. I think we could have a lot of fun together.' Hartman coughed and Jack tore his gaze away from Ianto's face, 'I mean we could make a real difference to the archives.' His air of enthusiastic work ethic was slightly ruined by the mischievous grin hovering at the edge of his mobile mouth.

'If Captain Harkness thinks I can be helpful to him' said Ianto carefully, 'I would be happy to oblige, Ma'am'

Yvonne Hartman turned to Jack, 'Very well, Captain, it would appear that you have your assistant...'

'Personal assistant' insisted Jack, again.

Hartman tutted with annoyance, 'If you will excuse me, Captain Harkness, I would just like a quick word with Mr, Jones before I officially reassign him to you.'

With feline grace, Jack twisted himself to his feet and sauntered over to the door, 'I'll wait for you outside, Mr Jones' he laughed, 'until Yvonne has finished telling you that she wants you to spy on me.' He paused in the doorway and threw the Director a kiss, 'Yvonne, It's been as wonderful as ever. Try not to look at my arse as I leave.'

'That man is impossible,' huffed Hartman, as the door closed behind Jack then she scowled at Ianto, 'I want you to send me a report every two weeks Jones,' she ordered, 'more often if anything 'unusual' happens or if you find out anything at all about Captain Harkness.'

Ianto straightened, heart pounding, he couldn't believe he was going to stand up to Yvonne Hartman, 'With respect, Director, I'm not comfortable with doing that'

Hartman snorted, 'I don't care about what you are comfortable with, Jones. Torchwood is not a democracy, you will send me regular reports or you may find that your career and that of the lovely...Lisa Hallett, isn't it, may be going in directions you definitely will not be "comfortable" with. Do I make myself clear?'

Ianto's brief mutiny died, 'Yes, Director,' he said resignedly.

'Excellent' The slivery tinkle of Karina Johnson's laugh filtered through the office door and Hartman winced, 'now take that man away before he debauches my receptionist.'

'Yes Ma'am'

As Ianto left the Director's office, he noticed that Jack Harkness was now sitting behind Karina's desk with a very strange expression on his face. Ianto raised a quizzical eyebrow, 'Sir?'

'Oh...uh...Ianto. Finished so soon?'

Ianto nodded, 'It wasn't much of a conversation to be honest, Sir' Jack groaned and leant back in Karina's chair, 'Uh...are you alright, Sir' asked Ianto with some concern.

'Oh yeah' gasped Jack, 'Oh God, yeah!' He collapsed boneless and panting, eyes closed. Then he shook himself and jumped to his feet, gifting Ianto with a glimpse of an impressively thick and long cock which he tucked into his pants before bending down and politely helping Karina out from under the desk. Ianto blushed furiously; he didn't know where to put himself. Jack leaned forward and scraped the small trail of semen trickling from the corner of Karina's mouth onto his finger. He offered it to the PA who eagerly sucked the finger between her lips. Jack smiled, pulled his finger from between the woman's lips and pulled her into a kiss that clearly involved more tongue than Ianto was comfortable witnessing.

'Karina, always a pleasure' Captain Harkness smiled at the dishevelled PA with what appeared to be genuine affection. He slid stylishly across the desk and put his arm around Ianto's shoulders, 'C'mon Mr Jones, we have work to do' As the captain's hand slipped from his shoulders and trailed down his body to cup his left buttock in a friendly fashion, Ianto wondered exactly what he had got himself into.