Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy 7 or any of its characters.
A/N: I was actually starting to write another fic (with Jessie in it… I seriously like her and the original AVALANCHE, I have no idea why there is such a short supply of fics featuring them) when this one started being written instead. I promise I'll get to the other fic next, though -- it's actually going to be a continued story, so if you like Cloud/Jessie (or Jessie, for that matter), keep your eyes peeled.
Music to Write By: Words I Couldn't Say by Rascal Flatts, for the first part; and It's Not Supposed to Go Like That, also by Rascal Flatts, for the end.
Mistakes
It wasn't a complicated mission. Get in, plant the bomb, and get out. What could be simpler? Well, maybe not having only ten minutes to evacuate… but only Jessie could possibly have a problem with that. As usual, she had to go and screw everything up. Really, only Jessie could possibly get her foot so securely stuck that someone else would have to help her get out. She might have been left behind right then, if it weren't for Cloud.
Despite being the leader of AVALANCHE, Barrett hadn't been paying much attention as he and Cloud came back up from planting the bomb. He had barreled on past like an angry bull, as per usual. Jessie hadn't even had time to speak before he was already gone. Cloud, however, wasn't like that. Cloud was running for his life, too, but his life wasn't the only thing on his mind.
"Jessie?" His voice had been confused as his Mako-tinted eyes had frowned slightly at her, pausing in mid-step and obviously wondering why she wasn't running, too. She had to know the bomb was planted, that their time to escape was already ticking down, and yet… she had remained crouched there, looking down.
"I'm… stuck," she had squeaked out, her cheeks burning with embarrassment, but he hadn't ridiculed her for clumsiness or anything of the kind. He had helped her, and they had continued to run out of the reactor together.
That was the first mistake Jessie had made: not getting her foot stuck, but being so completely embarrassed that she had all but ignored him the rest of the night. She had been afraid of what he would think of her clumsiness, of the fact that she would have gotten them all killed because the doors wouldn't have opened without her codes. And she had ignored what else she felt because of that.
Her second mistake really was falling like that on the way out of the reactor. She could have gotten herself killed, certainly, but far more importantly, she could have gotten Cloud killed. Because it was Cloud again, the one who had saved her. He was once more the only one who stopped running for his own life long enough to help her to her feet.
And her next mistake was letting that moment go. Again, she had been too flustered to speak her mind. Again, she had let him walk away as Barrett cursed at her for being a klutz.
The next mistake was twofold, and it was what she really regretted the most. She had tried to prove herself to Cloud, make him realize that she wasn't just a useless little klutz like Barrett had said, by making Cloud's fake ID special. And that was what had betrayed their presence on the train to Shinra, what had nearly gotten them all killed yet again.
And the worst part of it all was that Jessie had let Cloud and Barrett and Tifa go ahead alone.
Words couldn't express what she had felt when Barrett and Tifa had returned to Seventh Heaven alone. The various wounds -- the cuts and bruises and burns -- had spoken all too clearly of a battle, and the very worst had gone through Jessie's head at the sight of the two of them coming back without Cloud.
For a while, it had seemed like the worst was exactly what had happened. No one should be able to survive a fall from the plate to the slums, and Jessie knew that. But, at the same time, she hadn't believed Cloud was really gone. Maybe she was just in denial, but she liked to believe that she had some sort of connection with him, that she had really known that he was still alive.
And that was what she was telling herself now, as her heart began racing again upon seeing his feet on the stairs. Again, Jessie had fallen down, and again, Cloud had come. That seemed to be the theme of her experience with him: he was always finding her on the ground and helping her up.
But it was despair, endless despair, that filled Jessie's heart as the relief at his appearance ebbed away. Since Cloud had begun working with AVALANCHE, he had always been there to pick her up… but she doubted that even he could bring her back from this.
Jessie's lips twitched into a faint smile when he spoke. He was worried about her, about them all. She had known he would be, but… it was so good to hear him give voice to it, and yet it made her want to cry at the same time. She couldn't do that, though; she had to be strong, for now. For him. She wouldn't let him see her fear this time.
She barely even noticed that Tifa was there, too. Jessie had eyes only for Cloud, and in that moment, at least, his eyes were fixed on her. Maybe he didn't know how she really felt, and maybe she had destroyed any chance she ever had to be with him. Certainly, there was no chance left now, as he cast one last glance back at her and continued up the stairs. She closed her eyes, then; she wanted that to be the last image she ever saw, the one that would be etched into her mind for whatever short time she had left.
Maybe now, if he didn't know how she thought of him, Cloud, at least, would be free.
Maybe Jessie hadn't made so many mistakes, after all.