The Love Train, by Dickfart
"Hinata, let's fuck. I've had a tragic past," said Naruto, suave, powerful, and ripped like a Greek god.
"OH MY GOD, YES!" said Hinata, blushing. They fucked, and Naruto got out of bed while Hinata took a puff of her cigarette.
"Well, my dear, it'd be a shame to let all this tragic past go to waste, so I'm gonna go fuck Sakura now."
"Wait, what?" said Hinata.
So he went and found Sakura.
"Sakura, let's fuck. I've had a tragic past," said Naruto, suave, powerful, and ripped like a Greek god.
"Normally I'd punch you and whine about Sasuke, but what the heck? I'm horny," said Sakura, blushing. They fucked, and Naruto got out of bed while Sakura took a puff of her cigarette.
"Well, my dear, it'd be a shame to let all this tragic past go to waste, so I'm gonna go fuck Tenten now."
"Wait, what?" said Sakura.
So he went and found Tenten.
"Tenten, let's fuck. I've had a tragic past," said Naruto, suave, powerful, and ripped like a Greek god.
"Who the fuck are you?" said Tenten, blushing. They fucked, and Naruto got out of bed while Tenten took a puff of her cigarette.
"Well, my dear, it'd be a shame to let all this tragic past go to waste, so I'm gonna go fuck Ino now."
"Wait, what?" said Tenten.
So he went and found Ino.
"Ino, let's fuck. I've had a tragic past," said Naruto, suave, powerful, and ripped like a Greek god.
"Sure. Without Sasuke, there's nothing better to do," said Ino, blushing. They fucked, and Naruto got out of bed while Ino took a puff of her cigarette.
"Well, my dear, it'd be a shame to let all this tragic past go to waste, so I'm gonna go fuck some random OC now."
"Wait, what?" said Ino.
So he went and found some random OC.
"Some random OC, let's fuck. I've had a tragic past," said Naruto, suave, powerful, and ripped like a Greek god.
"Naruto, I'm Sasuke disguised as a woman. Touch me and I'll kill you," said some random OC, blushing. They fucked, and Naruto got out of bed while some random OC took a puff of her (his?) cigarette.
"Well, my dear, it'd be a shame to let all this tragic past go to waste, so I'm gonna go fuck the goddess Amaterasu now."
"That can be arranged," said Sasuke, lighting Naruto on fire with his black fire spells. While Naruto was burning to a crisp, Sasuke stabbed him with his sword and he died.
"All right, I win!" said Sasuke, still disguised as a woman so not to emasculate Naruto and all the dudebros that jerk off to him.
"Fuck you, bitch!" said Hinata, pulling out a gun and shooting Sasuke. He died. "That's what you get for killing my man."
"Fuck you, bitch!" said Sakura, pulling out a gun and shooting Hinata. She died. "That's what you get for killing my man."
"Fuck you, bitch!" said Tenten, pulling out a gun and shooting Sakura. She died. "I just wanted to be included for once."
"Fuck you, bitch!" said Ino, pulling out a gun and shooting Tenten. She died. "That's what you get for killing my woman."
"Fuck all of you!" said Gaara, reverting back to his old, crazy self. He buried everyone in the Naruto-verse alive in the sand where they were all crushed and suffocated, and then he shot himself because he had a tragic past.
Meanwhile, Cockashi came back from vacation to find everyone dead.
"No one ever invites me to the harem," said Cockashi, who pulled down his mask and spit on the ground. "Serves you little cock sucking turds right."
The End