Christian's over clichéd not-quite-a Mary Sue second love
Chapter Uno
Narrator: Ahhhhh…..what a pleasant day in Monmatre! It's the summer of, you guessed it! Hot love! (changes voice to a more serious tone) But for some, the summer of hot lovin' and sex is unfulfilled and depressing. (voice gets high again) Isn't that right Christian?
Christian: (sitting in his flat with a bottle of absinthe clutched in his hand) Meh.
Narrator: Isn't love wonderful Christian?
Christian: Love! Is a many evil thing. It rips out your heart and leaves you broken and bleeding in the middle of the street in a rainstorm. Love sucks!
Narrator: Isn't he cute?
Christian: Please die.
Narrator: Hehe….anyway unbeknowest to him on the other side of town, there was a stranger 'a heading his way.
(A chick comes in from the train sation, decked out in a prude little outfit with a pillbox on top of her head.)
Narrator: Ah! Our Mary-Sue, right on time!
Mary-Sue: Oh, ha! That's really funny.
Narrator: Well, you are the Mary-Sue right?
Mary-Sue: Yes, but my name is Anntonelle.
Narrator: Can I call you Tony?
Anntonelle: No, you may not.
Narrator: Too bad! Tony's going (sings) Downtown! Where everybody knows ya! Down town-
Anntonelle: NO! I'm going to go (sings) Downtown (stops singing) to write! To write about truth! Beauty! Freedom! And above all things…..LOVE!
Narrator: We know, we know. She sounds like a certain naive writer who did certain naïve things and it now in naïve denial.
Fans: We know it!
Narrator: And what apartment would she end up at other than Christian's!
Anntonelle: (knocks at door) Um, I'm here about your apartment?
Toulouse: (popping out of the door suddenly) Hiya! You wew the one whow called abouwt the apawtment, yeth?
Anntonelle: Yes.
Toulouse: (bloting out of the room with some bags) Whee! I'm fwee! Cwy fweedom!
Anntonelle: Should I be worried?
Narrator: No! This is character development.
Anntonelle: For some reason I don't believe you.