A/N: As a Texas girl I couldnt help but put the RangeMen in Wranglers.
Disclaimer: The characters arent mine. Im only borrowing them.
Rangers Butt Drives Me Nuts
Three figures sat around a table in the dim light of bare room. There were cards in their hands, chips on the table, smoke in the air, and whiskey in their glasses. The voices were low and gruff as they discussed past missions and experiences. They talked about good times and bad. The air in the room was thick with masculine musk and testosterone.
Lester, tell us how the mission in Texas went. Hal asked while trying to decide to raise the bet or fold.
Lester let out a low chuckle and gave Bobby a mischievous grin.
Bobby sent Lester a warning glance, Man you know youll get sent to a third world country or in the least sent back to Texas.
Hey, man, dont dog Texas. We have beautiful women, great beer and bar-b-que, and when youre up at dawn on a cool crisp morning in the Hill country riding your favorite horse its like heaven.
Man, you can keep your favorite horse, and Ill ride something else. Bobby retorted.
Well we like to ride those too. Now if Ranger were really gonna send me somewhere to punish me it would be Mannys home state of Arkansas. Hill Billie hell.
Hey, Arkansas is picturesque. Theres the Ozark Mountains with gray cliffs jutting out of the green landscape over the Buffalo River. The beautiful water falls.
Jeez, man, dont be so sensitive. You sound like a damn tourist brochure, laughed Lester.
My Dad wrote that brochure, mumbled Manny.
Yeah, yeah. Why cant you tell us about the Texas mission? Hal asked redirecting the conversation back to what he wanted to know about.
Well Ranger never said not to tell anyone about it, after all everyones going to be briefed about part of it when we have the staff meeting on Monday. Lester looked around at the men innocently while carrying a very matter of fact tone in his voice.
Bobby still sounded skeptical, Youre taking your life into your own hands, man.
Alright this goes no further than this room.
What about the security cameras? Manny asked.
I cut the sound off. I did it under my log in so only Bobby and I or Tank and Ranger could turn it back on. Theyre out of the building so Im not worried. Lester assured.
Unleashed Lester put down his cards and launched into the story.
Ive been talking to Ranger about opening an office in Austin or at least extending our services in Texas for a while. There are a lot of estates being built in somewhat remote areas of the state and theres a real need for private security. Austin is really hot in the music industry and there are quite a few high profile individuals in the state.
Ranger wanted to get a better idea so we went down to check out the different areas of need. Well, I have a friend in Houston who is on the security committee for the Houston Livestock show and Rodeo. Hes been talking to me for years about getting a contract from us to provide security. Usually they use local police and off duty officers. They also use some small private security firms, but its not really meeting their needs.
The Rodeo has always been a family event, but in recent years the gang faction has grown and its discouraged some people from attending. Since we were going to be in the state anyway I talked to Ranger about providing some supplemental security to get an idea if it was something hed be interested in us providing.
When we got to Houston we met with a group from the committee and of course we were all dressed in RangeMan black. A woman on the committee asked if we would be wearing what we had on during the time we would be scouting the grounds. Ranger asked what else we would wear; you know in his way.
She looked like she might mess herself, but she gathered her courage and pushed on. Now see theres an example of a Texas woman for you determined and full of nerve. Yeah, Texas women theyre feisty.
Anyway, the woman suggested that we would want to wear something to blend in. She was afraid we might scare the children and animals. Everyone else on the committee agreed with her. Ranger didnt want to loose the impression of authority and fearfulness that he thought only our uniforms would give us. I told him that he didnt need black clothes to convey fear and awe to anyone.
Ranger finally agreed that we would wear civvies since we were really there to observe and determine the Rodeos need for security. It would give us a chance to assess the skills of the other groups providing security with out tipping them off to who we were.
Steph was of course interested in what we would wear to a Rodeo, and I cant say I was unhappy about getting her into a pair of tight jeans. With a team of ten I decided that I needed reinforcements to get everybody suited up in the time that we had. Enrique was on the team this time because Ranger wanted to assess his skills to determine if he would be an asset to Vinces technology team, and because he was from a Texas. I didnt think he would be much help with getting everybody clothed, because I suspected that he wouldnt have the cojones to tell Ranger that he needed to wear boots and jeans to fit in at the Rodeo.
I called some friends of mine whod told me theyd be coming to Houston for the Rodeo that weekend. Casey, Emily, Leah, and Ruth were friends of mine from home. They were all beautiful and intelligent. I figured if the men had four beautiful women telling them that they looked great, and that the clothes they were wearing were totally appropriate for a rodeo theyd be more comfortable doing it.
We all met at the nearest western wear store and introduced everyone. The ladies were a little speechless at first, but they recovered so quickly you almost didnt notice. I could tell Steph was impressed that they could hold it together in the presence of all of the men let alone Ranger.
We got clothing items and boots picked out for all the guys. As the guys tried the clothes on they came out to have their Texas uniform assessed by the women. Steph was still picking out her clothes. I think she was stalling to stick around and see how the guys would look in their jeans.
I thought my friends would be ok. Theyd grown up with Wranglers and, at this point, were almost immune to their magic. They were able to look at a Wrangler butt and admire it with an objective eye, usually. Steph wasnt used to Wranglers, but she was used to the RangeMen. I havent ever seen her befuddled by their asses in cargo pants before, so I figured so be ok.
When the guys came out all five of the women had at least a tiny bit of drool escape their mouths. Ranger was the last to come out. Gasps could be heard from the women in our party as well as the female shop attendants.
Steph broke the silence with a high pitched voice. Holy luscious buns. I didnt think his ass could look any better. Cargos frame it so perfectly I didnt think anything else could do it justice.
We all just stood their just looking at his ass. Even the guys looked on in admiration. Ive never seen Ranger appear anything but composed, but he had tinge of red in his face. No one could look away, and then Leah started critiquing his ass like it was a work of art in a gallery or something.
That is perfection in Wranglers. Look at how they frame the contours of the cheeks. I know what you're talking about with cargos the cut does frame the ass and the pockets accentuate the apex of each cheek, but denim is a heavier fabric and the cut lifts the ass so that the jeans produce a perfect, round package. Damn. The wonders of nature.
I told Ranger see I told you that you could have a commanding presence in something other than RangeMan black. Yeah, Ranger wasnt too happy about it, and we didnt blend away into the crowd very well either when we got back to the rodeo. I did notice though that Steph packed the boots and the jeans to bring them back to Trenton.
Where does she think that hes going to wear them in Trenton? She keeping them for role playing? Manny asked.
Maybe she thinks he could wear them to the only rodeo in town. The gay rodeo. Hal retorted.
You planning on attending, Hal? Bobby shot back.
Well, we had Wranglers where I grew up too. Girls can be mesmerized them. Id at least like to see what perfection looks like in them. Hal responded sheepishly.
Oh, I can show you that. Leah got a picture on her picture phone while we were at the Livestock show and Rodeo. She sent it to me as a joke cuz I was teasing her that she never called my ass perfection in Wranglers. Lester pulled out his phone and pulled up the picture.
Huh, well, I see. Thank God she didnt get a picture of the front or I might feel like less of a man. Fronts just as tight as the rear.
Yeah, we know. Lester and Bobby said in unison.
The door of the room opened to reveal Steph with a wide grin on her face. Hey guys. Whatcha doin?
Oh, um. Hi Steph. Lester said without meeting her eyes. None of the guys met her eyes. They looked at the ceiling, the floor, or her chest, but not at her eyes.
You guys are just like a bunch of cackling hens. I dont care if you try to disguise it in a smoky room and a card game you might as well be in a beauty parlor the way youre talking.
Huh? Bobby said with eloquence.
We came back early. I came down to warn you Ranger turned on the sound. Texas was only three days ago. Its still a little raw. You maybe should have waited, Les.
Ranger appeared in the doorway behind her with a black look on his face.
I thought Id tell you I just picked up a new contract. Since Les thought we were so well equipped to provide security for a rodeo you guys will be providing security for the Liberty Gay Rodeo this year when its held in Trenton. Les, be sure to make sure everyones suited up in the appropriate attire so youll blend. Wouldnt want to scare anyone, would you?
A/N Im not sure if JE ever said anything about where any of the Merry men were born or grew up in cannon. I wrote it to meet the needs of the story.
The Liberty gay Rodeo Association does exist.