The inspiration to write this fic come from this post: post/43078483890/some-thoughts-on-blue-and-green on couleursdautomne tumblr.
In this post, the person describes the differences but mainly the similarities of Green and Blue. So, this fanfiction is more psychological, don't expect action. And try to imagine them in their adult ages.
Green grew up with the idea that everything was submitted to the reason; there isn't one thing that didn't have an explanation. Something substantiated on a rational basis would be always reliable and safe. On the other hand, let yourself be guided by emotions was like ride without domain of your horse, like navigate without controlling the ship sails. It was unreliable and unsafe. Hence, he developed many techniques to domain his feelings, and became unbeatable in this aspect.
The boy saw no utility in cultivate relationships based on emotions; they just served to leave one confused and outside itself; to make it act and say insane things. All in name of something called love.
Green didn't want that to himself. No, he valued highly his life and intellect to the point of knowing that he should keep distance from things like this.
Blue was taught that emotions were a weakness; they were dangerous and they denounced people. Therefore, to survive in this cruel world, it was necessary wear a mask. More than a survival strategy, hide your feelings was also a formula for success. And she was expert in this game.
The girl didn't want to cling to nothing that could make her root, that could attach her to something or someone. Because she needed to be free to leave without regrets. Hence, she preferred jewelry over people. The attachment to them wasn't so dangerous, unlike the attachment to people.
Intimately binding with someone wasn't something that crossed the mind of these two. Then, when they perceived themselves attracted to each other, at first they tried to deny, retreat and dominate that feeling. But, when the destiny insisted to put them together more and more times, more seduced they felt to accept, advance and give in.
And was in one of these moments in which the destiny conspired against their wills that the horse broke free of its bridles, the sails got out of control and the mask fell. What they feared the most happened; but that was also what they loved the most: don't need to hold back once; don't need to dissimulate once; be only a normal human being following the flow.
But of course that was dangerous to the both parts and, realizing this, they decided to never again let themselves get carried away by the emotions like this. But, what the mind decides, not always the heart consents. And, to each new trick of the destiny, they found themselves trapped in an exhaustive cycle of acceptance and denial.
As that was not leading them to anywhere, at one point they simply decided to stop trying to boycott what they felt and accept the encounters from the fate. Neither of them was the kind of person that would make promises of love and vows of eternal fidelity. They were together now, but they didn't create expectations to tomorrow, because this was as uncertain as their relationship.
If one day they broke up, they wouldn't stop in time to cry an old love. They were too self-sufficient to do something like this. The maximum that could come from that two was a look of longing to the past, but this wouldn't prevent them from living in the present. Doesn't matter how hard was the loss, they would go always straight ahead with their lives. They would try to live the best possible way with what they had; they would find other reasons to smile and some valuable people in the journey. And would form new bonds either; they would do that even knowing that the void the other left would be irreplaceable.
Both were fully aware of their situation. Even if not a single word about the content was pronounced.
But maybe was that independency that they had from each other that made them desire to be together. They didn't believe in souls that complement each other; souls weren't pieces: souls were entires. But they believed that souls could add up. And was this what they did when they met. One didn't contain the other; one added the other. And, in this sum, the two had learned.
However, when the time and the space stand as an obstacle, there are certain things that even the most independent of the humans will experience. And, when Blue travelled to a distant land leaving Green behind, they got themselves feeling something very intense.
What are these desires to hear the voice of the other people that arose in the most unexpected hours? Why did they start to seek traces of each other in strangers? What was the reason from that anxiety for a reunion? Longing was the word. And it haunted them for a long while, making them discover how loyal they were to the feeling that united them.
But, as nothing is eternal, the moment their paths crossed again had come. And nothing seemed more lingering than that second in which they saw each other in the street, in that winter day. Seething minds; denouncing hearts; snow falling.
And Green said something he never imagined to say.
-…Welcome back, Blue.
She contemplated him for a while and smiled.
-I'm back.
Some time has passed after their reunion. And after an initial period of reconnaissance, everything was back to the previous state so quickly that even startled them. But that was also a relief: to know that what they had hadn't been lost was comforting.
In that spring day, when many couples were wrapped in that air so unique from this season, there was one in particular that ignored the entire atmosphere outside.
-Wahh! – the young woman stretched herself in the kitchen of the lad's apartment.
They had just finished to eat the breakfast and were heading to the living room.
-This last travel was very tiring. I didn't expect it to last so long… - she yawned, tired.
-…- the young man just watched her, noting the length of her hair, it had grown in the time she spent out.
-You are observing me a lot since I returned… - the girl looked at him curiously and, then, sat on the couch, resting the face in her hands.
-What happened, honey? Don't tell me you just discovered you can't live without me? – she asked cynically. However, there was a hint of curiosity in that question and he heard that with impartiality, knowing that that provocation was hiding something more.
He knew the answer to that question and she also knew.
-I can perfectly live without you, Blue… - Even already knowing the answer beforehand, it was inevitable that a little grief establish itself in the chest of the girl hearing that directly from him.
Green had already lived enough to know that he could live without her, and he knew that the reverse was also true. After all, they were very alike in this aspect. But the issue there, he thought, was other: he didn't want to live without her. His life was more interesting with her by his side.
By her side, he discovered emotions he didn't know could exist within him, and, his life, somewhat gray, had acquired new colors. Colors he didn't even know existed, colors that she had presented to him with a bit of perseverance and boldness. And he didn't want to give them up.
-…I just don't want this.
Hearing his words, the young woman looked up to him, her eyes with a renewed glow.
-I wouldn't want this too, honey. – she smiled and admitted in low voice – A life without you would have less fun…
In that moment, there was silence between them. Both knowing that that was the closest of a confession they would have. The two were too proud to openly admit they had their hearts stolen by other person; and too cowards to surrender to the emotionalism. They feared the vulnerability that this could generate, and the idea of a slobbery love also never was something that pleased them.
-After all, there isn't someone better than you to provoke! – she winked, playful.
-Noisy woman… - that nickname now was used more with nostalgia and affection than with any other thing.
The girl smiled and approached to her partner.
-And who is the best to answer like that? – she said, placing one hand in his face.
They kissed; that kiss translating all the non-made confessions, all the unspoken words and all the unexpressed feelings.
What they didn't know was that, it already for long, they had become victims of that vulnerability they feared so much. Their hearts already understood this, and was only a matter of time to their minds to get the message.
Because romance is more feel than think. And, in this aspect, even the most rational and the most astute of the men will be defeated by their feelings.
I know this fanfic is very introspective and psychologic and this gender isn't for everyone. But can I know your opinions? Somebody liked? Any review?