I don't own anything and yeah.

Hello there readers of the fanfiction world. I got bored and started thinking about all the stupidity with some of the fanfictions of Pokémon and Pokémon in general, so I was like ok how bout I write something like this and see how it goes. So let's see how it goes.

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Love

Ash had never seen anything so beautiful in his life. The fluffiness and yellowness. His Pokémon, his beloved Pikachu, was so beautiful. He petted the Pikachu ever so softly, and Pikachu purred back in response to the touch. "Oh Pikachu," Ash cooed, "You're so beautiful. Even tough you did act like a total bitch at first and zapped me which surprisingly didn't kill me, since like, a thousand volts went through my body. Not to mention that you're a freakin Pokémon, basically a fucking animal, and like, half of the fangirls are wetting themselves for me, but still I love you! Plus, you have the signs of being a male Pikachu, but it's ok because people call me gay anyway!"

At that moment, Ash somehow got chased into a river, and got caught by a hook. The girl fishing suddenly became superhuman and pulled him out of the water. Ash saw her and looked into her cerulean blue eyes. He threw his Pikachu aside and walked over o her, where she slapped him for throwing his Pikachu like garbage and forgetting the love that they shared.

"Bitch! How dare you slap me!?" Ash yelled, "I have the strangest feeling that you're going to be a bitch to me all the time, but I'm still going to fall in love with you and there's nothing you can do about it! You aren't the writer!"

"Ok!" Misty chimed in. "And I'm going to follow you just because you killed my bike. By the way Ash…" Misty trailed off.

"Wait, how do you know my name?"

"I don' know, ask the writers. You apparently know my name too, so stop being an ass and let's start this dumbass journey!"

"Alright! To use these Pokémon to become the bestest trainer ever!"

Misty stopped. "Now what?"

Ash thought for a moment. "Wanna do it for no apparent reason whatsoever?"

"Fuck yeah!"

Ash had gotten all eight badges, by very stupid gym leaders who decided to have one type of Pokémon. He turned his gaze to Misty and sighed. "Misty," he said, "We've been through a lot, and I know we were supposed to meet Brock, but he's a cock-blocker so fuck him, so let's have this romantic moment, because I'm leaving to a new region and you can't come."

"Oh, Ash, I'll miss you so much!" Misty said. She pulled out a hanker chief out of her pocket and handed it to him.

"The fuck is this? What the fuck am I supposed to do with this?" Ash yelled, holding the hanker chief between his fingers. He looked pretty grossed out. He was, after all, hoping to get something more romantic, like a Pokémon or something.

Misty stared at him endearingly.\

Ash cleared his throat. He grabbed Misty's hand and stood on his knee. "Misty, I would ask you to marry me, but this isn't a cheesy fanfic where a ten year old gets married, so go get on your bike and ride the fuck over there."

"Ok, bye!" Misty said as she ran to her bike.

Ash got on a boat without paying any money, because he had none, but still happened to make it to the new region.

Ash had gotten his Pikachu back, and it happened to toast up another innocent girl's bike. Ash went to go apologize to the girl, who seemed fatter and had larger breasts than Misty, though Misty was about two years older than this tramp in the red bandanna.

"You burnt my bike!" The chick screamed.

"Yeah, that happens. Wanna do it?" Ash asked.

May turned to him. "Fuck yeah! I just met you and everything, but I already love you forever, even if I leave this show!"

"On the floor."

"Yes sir!"

Ash had gotten yet another set of badges, and decided to leave everyone, including all his Pokémon except his beloved Pikachu, and leave to yet another region. This time, he "dropped" Pikachu, and for some strange reason, Pikachu burnt Dawn's bike.

Ash ran over to Dawn.

"Your dumbass Pikachu burnt my bike!" Dawn screamed.

"Yeah it kills everyone's bike. That's how I pick up chicks. Now, on the floor bitch."

"Yes sir!"

As Ash thrusted, Gary came by and silently watched the action. 'This shit rocks…' he thought. He somehow magically pulled some popcorn from behind his back and began to eat it. He went unnoticed, since Ash and Dawn were in their own little sex world, despite that they were only ten.

"Ash," Gary interrupted.

Ash looked up. "Yes, my gay lover?"

Gary pulled a face. "Ash, I don't know what those silly fanfiction writers have told you, but you're not allowed to have sex when you're only ten. Plus, I don't care what the fans say, I am no your lover, nor will I ever be, I mean, did you see my car? It was filled with chicks! Cheerleading chicks! I wonder whatever happened to them…hmm. Anyway, so yeah and every time someone new enters the story scene, you don't have to fall in love with them. Seriously."

Ash stared at the naked ten year old body in front of him. "Yeah but with all the sex, it's just worth it…"

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Ok… yeah. The point of this is that every time a new girl enters the storyline, people go crazy, thinking Ash is in love with them and he falls in love with like, anything. Like Ash and Pikachu. What the heck? Pokémon are basically animals! Ash is in love with a freaking animal!? What the fuck? In most societies, animal and human breeding is looked down upon, so why is it ok in fan world? Listen to this, children, because your brain may melt, but at least you'll know better…